President’s Jobs Speech Wows Congress

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 9 Sep 2011 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

President Obama’s widely anticipated speech before a joint session of Congress on Thursday stunned and amazed his erstwhile political opponents.

“Until I heard it from his own lips I never realized how mistaken the GOP plans to tear up all the roads and burn down all the schools were,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va). “And now that I know the President’s jobs plan is endorsed by the Teamsters’ Jimmy Hoffa and the AFL-CIO’s Richard Trumka, well, let’s just say that my eyes have really been opened.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) admitted that he was skeptical at first. “You know, in a way, we’ve been over this ground before,” McConnell pointed out. “Appropriating hundreds of billions to try to stimulate the economy has been the policy of the current Administration since it took office. Just because it hasn’t worked so far doesn’t necessarily prove it could never work. I’ve got to give him credit for consistency.”

House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) focused on the human element. “It’s one thing to get caught up in the statistics of millions without jobs—that’s bad enough,” Boehner observed. “But when I consider that the fate of one specific individual hangs in the balance I start to get all teary-eyed. If we don’t get this thing turned around, and quick, Barack himself could lose his job next year. I have to ask myself, if government action can save just one job why shouldn’t it be the President’s?”

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http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/president%e2%80%99s-jobs-speech-wows-congress/

[Chaguito]

Great one, John, great ‘quote’ from McConnell

[Rocky]

LOL. Pelosi says the Republicans can never be satisfied. Here we have an uncomplicated one-page bill, and the Republicans want to study it.

Let’s pass this bill so Obama has some more money to distribute.

[annieokie]

It took me until Boehner's statement to catch on. That was funny, and made me all teary eyed. ROFL

Good one John

[REDWOOD99]

Beeeyoootifulll!

[VRWC For Truth]

So good the NYT is envious they didn’t write it.

[wastedyears]

LOL John

[FormerACLUmember]

Sir John of the Valley of the Sun: The noblest Bard in all the lands.

[Mark]

I, too bow before the ONE!— Good one.

[BobP]

A naked Emperor is always good for a few laughs.

Everyone knows that collecting an unemployment check is a job.

Zer0 said government should get out of the way of small business while his administration does the complete opposite.

It's impossible not to laugh at him or the idiots who believe in him.

The DJIA dropped 200 points the second the opening bell rang, and closed down 303 points (Friday, September 9, 2011).

Can one conservative speak about new legislation, like canceling Obamacare, opening all of the energy sources up to exploration and drilling, cutting the corporate tax rate to 15%, take an big axe to federal regulations, put a minimum income tax on all workers for fairness, disband the EPA, set up steep tariffs on China and cut all government departments by 20%.

And... why was there no standing ovation for Joe Wilson when he arrived?

Countdown until Zer0 leaves Office: 497 days as of September 10, 2011.

[from occupied ga]

Good point about the liberal mindset “just because it hasn’t worked before ...” What does every liberal say when confronted by a total failure of some bone headed law failing to accomplixh its stated goal? “We just didn’t go far enough.” Gun control increases crime (as it always does)? “We just didn’t go far enough.”

[Arrowhead1952]

Just because it hasn’t worked so far doesn’t necessarily prove it could never work. I’ve got to give him credit for consistency.”

The definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Good one. That is like bitching about getting a speeding ticket at the same speed trap every day in one week by the same LEO.

[fatnotlazy]

Amazing all right. Amazing how he can come up with a plan that. Is note of the same old tax and spend which has failed fine after time.

Thanks again john for the ping. Super job as always.

[Seaplaner]

Unfazed, Pelosi argued that the added costs “will be good for the economy. The increase in paperwork needed to comply with the regulations requires people to be employed preparing it. That means jobs.

Satire aside, Ms. Pelosi the obedient Keynesian actually does believe this, n'est ce pas?

John S., hopefully you plan to gift some of your columns to the forthcoming Obama Library.

.

[SuziQ]

LOL! Well done!

[jennings2004]

But, but, you are confused...don’tcha’ know that unemployment checks stimulate the economy by taking money from greedy productive workers and businesses (even increasing its value by 1.84 times, if you gently ignore the negative side of the equation...:)), and giving it to those with time on their hands...got that? Even Princess Pelosi declared this to be true and who could conjure up an argument against her Highness’ unparalleled “wisdom?”

[WayneS]

"Until I heard it from his own lips I never realized how mistaken the GOP plans to tear up all the roads and burn down all the schools were,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va).

Now THAT'S funny!