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The Troll Patrol: DUmmies join the MIR Team
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 22, 2011 | DUAC Earl, DU Mole MineralMan, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 12/22/2011 6:32:34 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! How many times have we heard that over the past 7+ years that we have been monitoring DUmmieland? Many! We have planted plenty of moles in the DUmp to egg the DUmmies on and to expose their nuttiness.

Well, the New DUmmieland ain't puttin' up with it anymore! With characteristic panache and aplomb, Assistant Head DUmmie EarlG, aka DUAC Earl, has rolled out a brand-new Troll Patrol to catch and dispatch the nasty intruders. He's calling it the "MIR Team," the "Malicious Intruder Removal Team." I call it the "MIR Spaced-out Station," in other words, a bunch of Bolsheviks orbiting the DUmp, ready to blast away at any suspicious characters.


Watch out, Pitt! You might be next!

We will check out DUAC Earl's recruitment flyer for the Troll Patrol, i.e., this THREAD, "Be a hero! Join the Malicious Intruder Removal Team today!" as well as this THREAD by DUmmie MineralMan, "Troll-Busting and How to Make it Work and Get the Troll MIRTed."

Of course, the FUnnie thing about all this is that probably half of the sign-ups for the MIR Team are Lousy Freeper Trolls themselves! We're everywhere! We're everywhere!

So let us board the MIR Spaced-out Station and head out on the Troll Patrol, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, whose secret mole identity may or may not be a member of the MIR Team--not sayin'--is in the [brackets]:

Be a hero! Join the Malicious Intruder Removal Team today!

[SSgt. EarlG here, calling for recruits!]

Volunteers who wish to help keep DU running smoothly. . . .

[. . . are dreaming the impossible dream.]

. . . should consider joining the Malicious Intruder Removal Team (MIR Team).

["MIR"--hey, that's catchy! Named after a Soviet space station! Cool!]

The role of MIR Team members is simple: they are empowered to revoke the posting privileges of people who show up at DU with the intent to disrupt.

[Oh, goodie! We get to tombstone people! Think of the power!]

To repeat: the MIR Team is solely empowered to revoke the posting privileges of people who show up at DU with the intent to disrupt.

[To repeat: Oh, goodie! We get to tombstone people!]

just post in this thread to let us know that you'd like to give it a try, and you could be selected by the Admins.

[Do we get to wear uniforms? I'd really like to wear a uniform. Something with braids and epaulets would be nice. Can we get a little medal or ribbon for every troll we tombstone?]

[Look! Here come the volunteers! Now don't all push in at once! Form a single line . . .]

Me!!! Me!!! (Raises hand!) Please.

[Settle down! Settle down! Everyone will get a chance!]

I want to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of the Freepers!

[I wanna kill . . . kill . . . KILL!!]

I'm on board for MIR Duty

[Cosmonaut Renew Deal, reporting for DUty!]

I am interested. But I'm here at odd times. . . .

[EVERY time in DUmmieland is an odd time.]

Jury duty was fun. . . .

[Boy, New DUmmieland now has stormtroopers everywhere! "Juries," "hosts," "MIR Team". . . . Everybody gets to wear a uniform!]

Yes - I'd love to be on the troll patrol. . . .

[THANK YOU, DUmmie TBF, for coming up with that witty and apt description. A tip o' the hat to you! . . . Say, you're not a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL, perchance?]

MIR is Russian for "world" and "peace". Sounds good to me.

[Anything Soviet is good.]

I am onboard, EarlG

[How should we set our phasers, Captain?]

reporting for duty sir.

[Let's go kick some Malicious Intruder @ss.]

I would like to be a member of this secret alliance. . . .

[The eagle flies at dawn.]

Me!

[MI! Buh bye, troll. You seem a little over-eager.]

I hate trolls. so does that make me a good candidate?

[Good approach, DUmmie OKNancy. Low-key, subdued. No one will ever suspect that you yourself are a DU mole.]

I would like to serve a term on the MIR team.

[Off you go! Good luck, comrade!]

I am soooooo farking ready to serve in this capacity.....My last donation was from someone else, but I believe all previous donations were mine alone....

[Nope! Sorry! Not good enough! A little too eager, plus, you didn't pay. Next!]

In!

[Out! I don't like the look of your name--"Robb." And your avatar--a bunny? I mean, really?]

I'm game. . . .

[You're gamey. But then, so is everybody else in here. Welcome aboard!]

I find a certain joy in seeing some MIs removed *slowly*.

[And you're the people who objected to waterboarding at Gitmo??]

Speaking of intruders, will our Ignore lists be imported? Mine is very large. . . .

[Braggart.]

anything to keep the civility of this new board. . . .

[BWAHAHAHAHA!!!]

You can try me in your rotation. Blessings.

[Oops! Religious language! You just gave yourself away, troll! . . . Fire away, boys!]

I'm good at Whack a troll. . . .

[You're just plain wacky.]

Count me in, EarlG

[That from cbayer, the "Locking" King (Queen?) of DU2.]

If you still need some help, I'd be glad to give it a try.

[Oh, nicely done, DUmmie Terra Alta! Understated. Not too eager. Good work.]

[And now for some troll-busting tips from DUmmie MineralMan, who of course is himself a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! You can even still send MineralMan messages care of his FR screen name! MineralMan is one of our BEST DU moles, and Skinner and EarlG are too DUmb to spot him!]

Troll-Busting and How to Make it Work and Get the Troll MIRTed.

[Brilliant, MineralMan, brilliant! You have infiltrated the MIR Team! Excellent!]

With DU3 being new and all, there are quite a few trolls who are experimenting with the site.

[Not like you, MineralMan! You're an old hand at being a mole!]

Here's how I got it [a thread] hidden, locked, and the poster MIRTed (I just made that up right now).

1. I read the thread and recognized the original post as trollery.
2. I read down the thread and noticed that others had the same suspicion.
3. I alerted on the OP, choosing the Community Standards option.
4. I selected the TOS Violation option.
5. I wrote a comment that said, "This poster appears to be a low post count troll. The post is disruptive. If you vote to Hide the post, it will be sent to the MIR Team." or words to that effect.
6. Shortly, the post was hidden, the thread was locked, and the OP was MIRTed.

[Good advice from a HIGH post count troll, our own MineralMan!]

I just thought I'd share this. It worked great.

[Yes, it works great at deflecting attention away from YOU, MM! Nicely done.]

in order to get to the MIRTeam a post has to be hidden by a jury first. If it's not hidden it goes to admin. . . .

It must pass through jury first If jury votes to hide it goes to MIR team. If they vote to keep, admins get it. BUT... ToS violation must be checked.

[Come on, people! It's all there in your MIRT Handbook: Page 57, Subsection F-13, Paragraph 3. Let's do our homework, people.]

I don't think a lot of DUers understand the process. There have been a number of OPs by trolls that have remained after the troll was MIRTed, and there's no way to deal with those, since Hosts can't lock threads except when they violate the forum's SOP. This way, the OP gets hidden, if the jury agrees, and the whole shebang goes to the MIRT for their action.

[It's as clear as mud!]

Frankly, I wouldn't ever use this particular strategy on any long-time DUer. That would be insulting. It's only really appropriate for low post count disruptors. . . . I know that long-time DUers are treated differently than low post count trolls, and that's how it should be.

[Good move, MineralMan, you long-time, high-post-count mole you!]

Being a troll is a direct violation of the TOS.

[And yet, so many of us get away with it! Hee! Hee!]

It's also very important to note that many that go to MIR Team can and are referred to admins also. . . . So, just because it goes to MIR doesn't mean MIR will make the decision.

[That's a MIR technicality.]

Wait, is pointing out the President's shortcomings a bannable offense now?

["Shortcomings"?? Are you suggesting that our President has "shortcomings"?? . . . Did you hear that, MIR Team? Ready . . . aim . . . FIRE!!]

Not even calling Barack Obana a con artist is a violation of TOS. . . .

[ZAP!]

If a 'troll' is posting things that are ok, are they a troll?

[If a troll falls in a forum, and there's no one around to MIR it. . . .]

The MIRT only looks at one specific kind of TOS violation: people who are posting crap repeatedly.

[Well now, that would eliminate just about everyone in DUmmieland, wouldn't it?]

The paradigm shift is bringing out the authoriatrians. I fear if we continue down this path we will have. . . .

[QUIET! GET THAT MAN'S NAME!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; lousyfreepertrolls; mir; mirteam; moles; trolls
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1 posted on 12/22/2011 6:32:40 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


2 posted on 12/22/2011 6:34:58 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (MIR mortals.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Do you have to be a Marxist to join the MIR team or can anyone join?


3 posted on 12/22/2011 6:37:13 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Stop BIG Government Greed Now!!!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

All I have to say, Charles Henrickson, is you are wicked, wicked, wicked.


4 posted on 12/22/2011 6:39:22 PM PST by Auntie Mame (Fear not tomorrow. God is already there.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Sounds a bit totalitarian to me.
5 posted on 12/22/2011 6:39:53 PM PST by alarm rider (I took the pledge, I will never vote for another RINO, not now, not ever.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

So, the DUmp is trying out their own version of the Viking Kitties, eh?


6 posted on 12/22/2011 6:39:53 PM PST by Old Sarge (RIP FReeper Skyraider (1930-2011) - You Are Missed)
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To: Admin Moderator
Dear Admin Moderator, I hate to bother you, but I forgot to put in our standard bit of the thread title, in this case: DUmmie FUnnies 12-22-11, along with the parentheses. Would kindly amend it to look like this:

DUmmie FUnnies 12-22-11 (The Troll Patrol: DUmmies join the MIR Team)

Thank you ever so much. This happens once or twice a year, and you mods are gracious enough to fix our mistake.

7 posted on 12/22/2011 6:42:51 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Carpenter's rule: Measure twice, cut once.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Hilarious....I signed up on DU early in 2006 and was a ‘sleeper’ for a few months until I couldn’t resist making a crack about a certain pear-shaped, dirty-haired semi-blonde lesbian........ZOT!!!


8 posted on 12/22/2011 6:43:20 PM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

“Do you have to be a Marxist to join the MIR team or can anyone join?”
_________________________________

Oh, you must show your linage to daddy Karl, himself.


9 posted on 12/22/2011 6:45:36 PM PST by AlexW
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To: Charles Henrickson
Schools really need to start teaching Cognitive biases, especially, in this case, Confirmation bias
10 posted on 12/22/2011 6:46:53 PM PST by Vince Ferrer
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To: Charles Henrickson

How apropos since MIR turned out to be a colossal POS


11 posted on 12/22/2011 6:46:53 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Dear Admin Moderator, I hate to bother you.......

Hmmmmm, brown nosing the mods. Better put the ZOT5000 on standby.
12 posted on 12/22/2011 6:48:44 PM PST by cripplecreek (Stand with courage or shut up and do as you're told.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top ten???


13 posted on 12/22/2011 6:48:54 PM PST by NoGrayZone (Stay involved..because stupid people are running America! - Herman Cain - Amen!!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I have been inspired to go troll up right now.


14 posted on 12/22/2011 6:49:00 PM PST by lacrew (Mr. Soetoro, we regret to inform you that your race card is over the credit limit.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Do they have a person designated as the “enforcer” Someone whom we could turn in folks we just don’t like. A master zotter?


15 posted on 12/22/2011 6:50:49 PM PST by hoosiermama (We need more Jobs.....Steve Jobs....entrepreneurs and creators.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Happy little browbshirts.

Those NAZi’s sure like their spiffy uniforms.


16 posted on 12/22/2011 6:51:30 PM PST by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: Charles Henrickson

A lotta convoluted instructions that are absolutely powerless against the great FReeper TRolls! :)


17 posted on 12/22/2011 6:52:35 PM PST by LUV W (This tagline reserved for a hero.......)
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To: ErnBatavia
I've been a sleeper over there for three years. I want to make sure I can get in and have some fun the next time they lose an election and shut the site down for three days of mourning for everyone not registered.
18 posted on 12/22/2011 6:54:34 PM PST by ladyvet ( I would rather have Incitatus then the asses that are in congress today.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

*snort* As a Dummie stealth-moderator, I have it on good authority about 20% actually ARE freepers. muhahaha


19 posted on 12/22/2011 6:54:41 PM PST by Crazieman (Feb 7, 2008 http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1966675/posts?page=28#28)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Years ago I was testing several systems in the field.
One was a problematic POS, it just had no end of issues.

I made a sign for it that affectionately named it MIR II.


20 posted on 12/22/2011 6:56:57 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Charles Henrickson
What if I catch someone who is merely a Trotskyist instead of a Lousy Freeper Troll? Can I put an ice axe through his head?
21 posted on 12/22/2011 7:00:04 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Herman Cain: possibly the escapee most dangerous to the Democrats since Frederick Douglass.)
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To: mylife

“How apropos since MIR turned out to be a colossal POS”

Do you know why there were so many accidents in Mir?

Because objects in Mir are closer than they appear.


22 posted on 12/22/2011 7:04:19 PM PST by garyb
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To: garyb

Doh!


23 posted on 12/22/2011 7:06:41 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Crazieman
*snort* As a Dummie stealth-moderator, I have it on good authority about 20% actually ARE freepers. muhahaha

The DUmmie That Was FReepday...

24 posted on 12/22/2011 7:06:53 PM PST by danielmryan
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To: ErnBatavia

Like you, I had my fist DUmmy mole account in the 2006 era and I think I lasted about 25 posts. A couple of years ago I formed a new DUmmy IDentity and that one is in at about 500 posts. It takes a great deal of self-control to stay out of trouble as a mole in DUmmyland. I have been thinking about putting on paper the lessons learned and publish The Dummies Guide to being a DUmmy.


25 posted on 12/22/2011 7:08:20 PM PST by fatboy (This protestant will have no part in the ecumenical movement)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’ve been sitting on DU for more than 16 months, with an occasional mindless post, just waiting to be an “old guy” when the election comes around, then BLAMO, the WRATH OF ZOG WILL BE UPON THEM!

:)


26 posted on 12/22/2011 7:11:52 PM PST by MindBender26 (m)
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To: Charles Henrickson

This is guaranteed to be a bloodletting - every old grudge will be rewarded with a troll ban. I wonder if there will be anyone left? lol


27 posted on 12/22/2011 7:12:03 PM PST by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: GeronL

They get spiffy uniforms too?

I’M IN!!!!!!!!!!


28 posted on 12/22/2011 7:39:18 PM PST by 2111USMC (Not a hard man to track. Leaves dead men wherever he goes.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Is this like trial by denunciation, or, “J’accuse!”?


29 posted on 12/22/2011 7:46:48 PM PST by TenthAmendmentChampion (I have a job; therefore I am in the 1%.)
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To: rockrr

They’ll end up driving more members to the Loony Underground.... I mean Liberal Underground


30 posted on 12/22/2011 7:50:13 PM PST by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: Charles Henrickson

This worked great in Cuba. Nothing like a neighborhood watch to make sure nobody gets...out of line, knowwhumsayin’?


31 posted on 12/22/2011 7:54:18 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: LUV W
absolutely powerless against the great FReeper TRolls! :)

That is correct! I have been there for 3 years and some idiot actually gave me one of those gay little valentine hearts that gave me "special privileges".

Freaks.

32 posted on 12/22/2011 8:01:45 PM PST by submarinerswife (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results~Einstein)
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To: ladyvet

That is the exact same reason I have behaved myself since 2004.


33 posted on 12/22/2011 8:03:06 PM PST by submarinerswife (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results~Einstein)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’m in.


34 posted on 12/22/2011 8:07:05 PM PST by Jet Jaguar
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To: submarinerswife

You are MUCH braver than I’d ever be! Just a short visit in the DUmp makes me need a very hot shower! Keep up the good work! :)


35 posted on 12/22/2011 8:10:37 PM PST by LUV W (This tagline reserved for a hero.......)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Be a hero! Join the Malicious Intruder Removal Team today!

Team DUmmieLand - Troll Police

36 posted on 12/22/2011 8:38:58 PM PST by mikrofon (MIRth abounds)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Socialists love soviet words. Ironically it’s “Peace” in Russian. Of course it’s the opposite.

Old soviet joke:

Soviet was asked about America. He said “In America, man exploits man. In Soviet Union, it’s other way round.”


37 posted on 12/22/2011 9:36:48 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: 2111USMC
They get spiffy uniforms too?

I’M IN!!!!!!!!!!

But if you want to blend in, you can't wash yours very often. :/

38 posted on 12/22/2011 9:46:06 PM PST by Lonely Bull
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To: Charles Henrickson
Here's how I got it [a thread] hidden, locked, and the poster MIRTed (I just made that up right now).

Now, I find that really funny because in my sysadmin days, we used the LART on unruly users. Someone tries to circumvent system security and run a cracker on /etc/passwd -- LARTed! Then all the sysadmins would go have a cuppa joe so when the user called the helpdesk, none of us would be available. Let 'em stew a while.

BTW, LART == User Attitude Readjustment Tool
39 posted on 12/23/2011 4:27:48 AM PST by Peet (Cogito ergo dubito.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I don't think a lot of DUers understand the process. There have been a number of OPs by trolls that have remained after the troll was MIRTed, and there's no way to deal with those, since Hosts can't lock threads except when they violate the forum's SOP. This way, the OP gets hidden, if the jury agrees, and the whole shebang goes to the MIRT for their action.

[It's as clear as mud!]

LOL. I read that several times and just laughed.

The MIRT only looks at one specific kind of TOS violation: people who are posting crap repeatedly.

[Well now, that would eliminate just about everyone in DUmmieland, wouldn't it?]

I tried to go to the "new DU" but our servers block it.

40 posted on 12/23/2011 4:50:34 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (Dear God, thanks for the rain, but please let it rain more in Texas. Amen.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

IndianaGreen is NOT a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Got that Skinner?


41 posted on 12/23/2011 7:09:13 AM PST by PJ-Comix ("Now I am become Death, destroyer of oysters" ---from the Buffetvad Gita)
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To: Charles Henrickson

What happened to the DUmmie Journals? Has that been eliminated in DU3? If so, it is a tragic blow to the Pittster.


42 posted on 12/23/2011 7:10:17 AM PST by PJ-Comix ("Now I am become Death, destroyer of oysters" ---from the Buffetvad Gita)
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To: LUV W

I carry a crucifix and wooden stake whenever I venture over there.


43 posted on 12/23/2011 8:29:40 AM PST by submarinerswife (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results~Einstein)
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To: Charles Henrickson
OK...I get it now. I know what these guys remind me of. They remind me of "game masters" from when I was a kid...like DnD. There was always the kid who was a dork in real life...looked down on by most of the school...but in the role playing game...he was the "dungeon master." He got to make up the rules...call the shots...etc.

These admin moderators over at DUMMYLAND remind me of THOSE guys. They are always making up NEW rules for the role playing dummies to follow. New assignments. New missions. New games.

Dummyland is like a lefty blog version of Dungeons and Dragons and the admin-mods are the dungeon masters.

44 posted on 12/23/2011 8:53:26 AM PST by NELSON111
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To: NELSON111; PJ-Comix; mikrofon; Roscoe Karns; Choose Ye This Day
Dummyland is like a lefty blog version of Dungeons and Dragons and the admin-mods are the dungeon masters.

Ya think?


45 posted on 12/23/2011 9:10:12 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (MIR mortals.)
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To: PJ-Comix
What happened to the DUmmie Journals? Has that been eliminated in DU3? If so, it is a tragic blow to the Pittster.

Oh, you can still get to a person's journal, it's just not as easy as before, and I don't think the most popular journals are listed in one place like they were before.

When you see a post by a certain DUmmie, you put your cursor to the right of their name and an arrow appears. Then you can find the link to that person's journal.

WilliamPitt's journal

46 posted on 12/23/2011 9:41:00 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (MIR mortals.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I believe EarlG has been promoted to Dungeon Master, First Class:


47 posted on 12/23/2011 2:04:24 PM PST by Roscoe Karns
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To: Charles Henrickson
Just so everybody knowns I am splitting out for Venezuela from Dec. 26 to Jan. 6. I might have access to a computer there but for obvious reasons if I post here, I must be careful about what I say.

However, I am leaving in sort of a blaze of glory since I did the ultimate DUFU of them all with this STORY DUFUing the Bamster himself. It has gone viral and I notice that a campaign ad has even been produced incorporating the humor I presented on this. Oh, and Mark Steyn talked about this today. Check Google to see just how viral it has become.

48 posted on 12/23/2011 5:13:08 PM PST by PJ-Comix ("Now I am become Death, destroyer of oysters" ---from the Buffetvad Gita)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Oh, also featured in USA TODAY. Other places include Politico, Wall Street Journal, and Big Journalism. Every day I see my quotes or story link at new sites. So a nice way to top off the year.
49 posted on 12/23/2011 5:18:57 PM PST by PJ-Comix ("Now I am become Death, destroyer of oysters" ---from the Buffetvad Gita)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I want to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations ....
Then join the Marines and become a human killing machine. /s


Yes - I'd love to be on the troll patrol. . . .
Great. Thanks for volunteering, you can 'Walk Point'


I would like to be a member of this secret alliance. . . .
Sorry, Seal Team Six has no openings. And the Army's Special Forces require a rank of E5 and above, that you're Airborne Qualified (aka: passed Jump School), and have an MOS which is not, 'Building Forts from Pizza Boxes'.

Oh. And you can't wear women's underwear.
.........................

50 posted on 12/24/2011 7:27:50 AM PST by Condor51 (Yo Hoffa, so you want to 'take out conservatives'. Well okay Jr - I'm your Huckleberry)
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