Skip to comments.You Might Be A Paultard If....
Posted on 12/26/2011 8:04:16 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama
(With all due apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)
.....You've memorized Ron Paul's economic platform, but your supervisor doesn't think you're ready to man the shake machine yet.
.....You fail a remedial history class at the local vo-tech when every one of your answers on the final exam is "Ron Paul".
.....Your mother calls down to your basement "apartment" to tell you that dinner is ready and you scream back, "I'll eat when I'm ready, you Zionist pig! What's the matter, don't you believe in freedom ?"
.....You think bong water is an acceptable alternative to aftershave.
.....You like to tell people that you're the product of Screwy Lewy Rockwell and Cindy Sheehan's trysts.
.....Your every sentence begins with "Only Ron Paul...." and "Ron Paul is the only....."
.....Code Pinko kicks you out of a rally for being a wuss.
.....You throw darts at a picture of Abraham Lincoln.
.....Your head spins around and you spit pea soup when you're within five feet of a synagogue.
.....You know what Ron Paul's first words were, but you can't remember where you left that last hit of heroin.
.....You're dumb enough to call Mark Levin's show and start a sentence with "Only Ron Paul..." and "Ron Paul is the only...." (Yes, this rates two mentions! It's as annoying as it is intellectualy lazy!)
.....You think burqas are "VA-VA-VOOM!"
OK, what is it really?
Ronulan, Paultard or Paulistinian?...
.....You think the Tenth Amendment lets States alienate the unalienable right to life if they want.
..You’ve sprayed vinegar into the sky to combat chemtrails..
(not a joke.)
You Might Be A Paultard If....
you believe that ron paul has told the truth more than three times since 1988...and don’t sincerely question THOSE.
I hear you. And on some levels, you’re 1000% correct. The difference is you’re a FReeper and a Conservative. You use your head for more than a hat rack. You have well thought out reasons (suspension of Habeas Corpus, etc.) for your opinion while the Paultard only dislikes Lincoln because Screwy Lewy Rockwell and Thomas DiLorenzo says so.
...Lister throws on his least smeggy outfit, the t-shirt with only two curry stains on it...
Paulistinian is making a strong late bid....
You’re not wrong on this, either.
I hate to use anecdotal stories on threads, but I once had the misfortune of standing next to a Paultard at a Tea Party rally who was wearing a Paulie shirt from the first doomed run in ‘88. It looked like it hadn’t been washed since ‘88. Add that to the humidity of South Florida and....well, I’m sure you get the idea. (Bleeeecccccch!)
BAHAHAAA!! Stolen! Thank you!
Did I hurt your feelings ? Did I fail to show Herr Doktor the proper respect ?
Too bad. Last time I checked, FR is a CONSERVATIVE site. Herr Doktor is not a Conservative, therefore, he gets mocked. Not a hard concept, really.
You call RPaul “Dr. Paul” with a tremor of reverence in your voice.
You KNOW that RPaul is the ONLY one who can Save Our Nation.
You know and (repeatedly state) that anyone who criticizes RPaul is a warmongering neocon Nanny Stater.
Every sentence you utter about RPaul has the word “Constitution” in it.
You know for a fact that every single other candidate or potential candidate or possible candidate is a member of the CFR and the Trilateral Commisson and a Zionist.
You are personally in favor of all drugs being legalized although you swear up and down that you do not, personally, partake.
When questioned about RPaul’s stand on allowing homos in the military, you shriek at the questioner: “WHAT!?!? Are you afraid of FREEDOM!??!?!?”
You know for a fact that RPaul never wrote, never read and never knew what was in his newsletters. Never ever ever! It’s a total shock and surprise to him to now find out, after all these decades, what he actually signed his name to! And that’s fine with you! Shows how “honest” RPaul is!!
(BTW I know all of the above from being on the receiving end of Ronulan droolings and outbursts.)
Totally unrelated, but Saints QB Drew Brees has just broken Dan Marino’s single season passing yardage record.
Unlike RuPaul, Drew Brees has accomplished something.....
The ‘Tards hate that one, don’t they ?
I’m just saying. You are letting Paul turn you guys into raving lunatics. I’m not a Paulbot. But I’m not a Paulnot. Save it for the enemy.
When you’re in a hurry and you get a red light, you suddenly declare that red lights are ‘unconstitutional’.
When you get jipped by a vending machine, you complain to everyone around you that the vending machine has violated your constitutional rights.
When you belive that selling heroin to children is one’s constitutional right.
When you declare that the root cause of every hostile act by any nation throughout history can be traced back to American foreign policy and/or the existance of Israel.
I dunno. I created my own, “the RuPaulista SS”, but it never caught on. (Which is a good thing, because it’s a pain to type.)
I use Paulbot if I’m posting to someone on FR. If I go to a forum I don’t respect like the Daily Paul or Pat Buchanan’s forum on Human Events, I go with Paultard, Paulistinian, Islamic apologist, traitor, etc.
—”You might be a RINOtard if you back Romney or Gingrich.
At least Ron Paul qualified for the Virginia republican primary.”—
Yes, he was grandfathered in, remember? That’s what happens when you’ve been a professional Presidential candidate for 32 years.
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