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Pepsi Pays Fine for Not Hiring Criminals
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Jan 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/16/2012 11:04:37 AM PST by John Semmens

The Pepsi Beverages Co. paid a $3.1 million fine to settle federal charges of racial discrimination in its hiring. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) assessed the fine, declaring that “screening job applicants for prior criminal records disproportionately affects blacks and Hispanics.”

“Everyone knows that minorities are more likely to be criminals than whites are,” said EEOC spokesman Clem Clodpate. “Consequently, screening for previous criminal history is, ipso facto, discriminatory.”

“Besides, Pepsi failed to demonstrate a business need for excluding criminals from being hired,” Clodpate added. “Who’s to say that a person with a criminal record couldn’t adequately perform the kind of mind-numbing and repetitive tasks associated with bottling, transporting, and selling beverages?”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: bureaucracy; crime; regulation; satire

1 posted on 01/16/2012 11:04:45 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
You really had me going and then I noticed the satire label before my head split open.
2 posted on 01/16/2012 11:09:51 AM PST by demkicker (My passion for freedom is stronger than that of Democrats whose obsession is to enslave me.)
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To: John Semmens

Man, you almost got me this time! Good job!


3 posted on 01/16/2012 11:12:48 AM PST by DemforBush (May I have 10,000 marbles, please?)
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To: John Semmens

So what crime did these people who were charged with a crime commit?


4 posted on 01/16/2012 11:18:05 AM PST by NorthStarStateConservative (The Democrat Party: Making Black People Slaves in Some Form Or The Other Since the 1850s)
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To: John Semmens

The sad part is, that in this day and age, most people would believe that story.


5 posted on 01/16/2012 11:18:56 AM PST by BradtotheBone (Moderate Democrat - A politician whose voting record leans left and whose vote can be bought.)
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To: John Semmens

Great one, John!


6 posted on 01/16/2012 1:13:05 PM PST by momtothree
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To: John Semmens

Good one. Almost got me.


7 posted on 01/16/2012 1:41:23 PM PST by TheConservativeParty ( Everytime a democrat loses, a Moonbat gets its wings burned off.)
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