Skip to comments.Vanity--How Very Hard It Is to be a Stepmom In This Day and Age of Child Entitlement
Posted on 01/17/2012 6:01:07 AM PST by AbolishCSEU
Much as Western men are subconsciously boycotting marriage due to government interference, lop sided, antequated divorce laws anti-male family law courts, etc., women are starting to see the drawbacks to remarrying men who have children with former wives and even former girlfriends who hold all the power in the relationship.
(Excerpt) Read more at amazon.com ...
Divorce in the Western world in incentivized for women; they usually get automatic full custody and large amounts of child support/alimony. Rare is the much hyped "deadbeat dead;" he is much more likely to be the "dead broke" dad. Since the 90s, the pendulum has swung drastically in the other direction from fathers running away from their responsibilities (and getting away with it) to fathers being pushed out the home and purposely being alienated from their children. The Feds provide kick backs to local child support agencies that can get the highest amounts of child support running through their bureaucratic mills.
The short book "The Guilty Parent Trap" details the foibles of divorced famlies and how the family heirarchy structure is practically turned on it's head. Any ideas of traditional parenting for the "second family" goes out the window and the parents soon make their children into low achieving, zero expectation, entitlement junkies; little dictators who are prescribed many anti-depressant and other dangerous meds.
It also details the decline of the Western middle class family structure due to divorce and government intervention not unlike the way the minority family structure was destroyed by liberal do-gooders back in the sixties. HIGHLY controversial subject matter, but you can see the trend toward this type of family where, because of divorce and the selfishness of parents, children are pitied, overcompensated with material goods and not trained to be fully functional, independent adults.
I noticed the bad reviews on Amazon Kindle shop come mainly from "first wives" who have not read the book and are free-ranging their children into self-destruction themselves!
Highly interesting read.
it caused us to divorce, nuff said!
Being a stepmother has been hard since the days of Cinderella and before that. I'm disgusted with the bio-moms who make it harder at the expense of their kids, and with the bio-dads who play games or make it hard on either the bio-mom or the stepmother. Even after divorce (or the modern equivalent that skips the marriage), decent people should put the child's welfare first, as hard as that may be when the other partner is not civilized.
Don't make me laugh.
I was a divorced mom in the early eighties and received no child support, but managed to foster a healthy relationship between my children and their father. My children are now grown; one is in the air force and the other has been married for eight years now.
Nowadays it IS different!
I’m remarried to a man who “gets” to take home $200 a week if he’s lucky after child support and taxes and his ex wife, who makes more than he does and her new husband makes twice what I do. They are “living large” compared to us. Yet his children are failing school with a low F average but are treated to all the latest electronic gadgets known to man and have bought into the hate that their mom and maternal grandmom have been dishing out for years.
I’ve seen it too.
My ex had two children who never gave me the time of day. Contributory factor to him being the ‘ex’ now.
First major hurdle after I married him - being told by the ex-wife that I should help pay for their kids college. The kid wasn’t expected to save or work to help pay for college. The kid dropped out and never finished college. I should have run like my hair was on fire. Sigh.
One has to experience it to understand, and I do.
I’ve been a stepmom for 15 years. It’s difficult. Very difficult. I would not recommend it. I am an Admin on a Stepmom Support site and the things I read on an almost daily basis are sad and frustrating.
But, one good thing...my husband and I have managed to stay above it all in our own personal situation and are closer than ever.
Would you please provide a link to the support site or send me a private message?
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