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Posted on 02/10/2012 7:25:14 AM PST by tutstar
Teenage girls can be tough, especially when the parent is more of a child than the kid. And in answer to your question, I don't have a teenager, I have a daughter who works at a state hospital where she is a therapist for the criminally insane - I'll have to ask her what she thinks of this psycho...
My only question:
What is his FR handle?
The punishment needs to fit the crime.
On the first day of spring break the year my oldest daughter was fifteen, I overheard her tell a friend on the phone that she was being forced to spring clean the entire house by herself all week while her three sisters and her parents did nothing.
Guess how she spent spring break?
You can never be friends with your kid. You either teach them respect and responsibility when they are young or you fight em when they’re 16.
My first full time job permanently screwed up the abbreviation API for me. Instead of application programming interface I still think of it as armor-piercing incendiary, which is also useful for solving computer problems like this one.
All the wonderful theories about how to raise kids with mutual respect and communication and so forth haven’t worked out too well for our culture. Historically a loving and generous parent who was willing to put a firm hand on a kid’s backside has given society psychologically healthy and responsible adults. Unfortunately we no longer allow parents to spank children, so we end up with a nation of spoiled and entitled little monsters.
I see nothing in this man’s behavior that makes him childish. He warned his daughter there would be serious consequences if she used social media to vent her stupid resentments again. He imposed those consequences. Good for him.
Dude, you are outvoted here. I’m glad your daughter turned out well. Mine did too. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. But I wonder how you would have handled it if your sullen, self-righteous teenager refused to do normal house chores, refused to go look for a job, accepted your support, money, and labor, and then used your gift to attack you. What punishment would you have imposed? Would you have sat down with her to talk it out? This dad is pretty clear on the fact that they have been through those conversations before, and talking was not successful in getting her to be realistic, or at least publicly respectful. Taking the laptop away and grounding her temporarily was not successful either. She simply defied him. Killing her laptop so she has to learn what real work is like might be the best lesson she ever has.
I popped our daughter on her behind when she smarted off to me. She was about 12 or 13, and that was the last time she ever got snippy with my wife or me. She turned 25 last year.
Sometimes a parent needs to make an impression on their teens that stick in their memory....Had a neighbor that bought his stepson a BB gun but could only take it out when he took the kid out in the woods....stepson took BB gun outside and when dad found out by mom, he made the son sit on the porch and watch him breaking the BB against the cement drive....next time kid wants to disobey, he would think twice about it....this was back in the early 70’s.
Dude, are you serious? I don't think he threw a tantrum at all. She's the one that did on two separate occasions, and now she has to pay the piper for her actions. Well crafted letter my ass. This little snit is pissed off because Daddy is making her work, and she has 3 hots and a cot because of it. And NO, she doesn't DESERVE to get paid for anything. I think he's teaching her a valuable lesson, and hopefully when she's old enough, she'll respect him for it. The only thing that I disagree with, is that the father wasted ammunition (hollow points are expensive), because he should have used a chainsaw, or a sledge hammer. At least then, some of the namby pamby antigunners wouldn't have gotten their panties in a bunch. Overall, I think it was a very effective message, and sadly not enough parents do it. Just the other day, I went to visit my sister, and her sixteen year old daughter came down stairs, and did not even bother to say hello, hug her uncle, just proceeded to sit on the couch and sulk about something. Quite the opposite from her brother, yet I still am a bit angry at my sister for not correcting her on the spot. That type of behavior is not tolerated in my house.
I guess you heard a different letter than I did. There was nothing thoughtful or well constructed about it, it was a rant about having to do chores, with many swear words involved. The dad answered the parts that were exaggerated and did a good job doing it. Also, the letter was already public being posted on her face book page(or wall if you will)the only difference was she thought she had her parents blocked off. The guy did the right thing, he took her laptop away from her, albeit in a manner many wouldn't have taken.
With the computer restored there is zero chance the mom or step-mother(one was mentioned)will relent and return it to her before the grounded period is over.
BTW, you are a sh** parent(if you are a parent, you sound more like a child or very young adult to me) if you think it is ok for children to post tantrums against their parents on public forums.
I would have used a 12GA, 3", 000Buck.
No kidding. I was not impressed with the effect of those “explosive tipped bullets” or whatever he called them. Also, to be quite honest, I think it’s sort of a creepy thing to do. He must feel like a very powerless and out-of-control parent. I sure wish those two the best... Along with the poor fellow on this thread whose son is in the pokey.
With a dad like that, she has a chance of becoming a decent citizen!
I agree vehemently with you.
I have 3 daughters ages 10, 16 and 19.
They would never make a post like that on FB partly because they know I would never act like this jerk, not because they know I would act like this jerk.
This father hasn't solved anything. He has merely badly damaged whatever communications existed between him and his daughter.
If he was the right kind of parent, he wouldn't have had this problem.
Oh, please. You can be the most magnificent, wise, kind parent in the world and your kids can still get into trouble, do drugs, get pregnant, have a bad attitude, get bad grades, or have other problems. Part of it is innate temperament, part of it is parenting, and part of it is the culture that surrounds us.
The famous Christian child psychologist Dr James Dobson warned that a lot of parents think their kid's great behavior is due to their parenting skills when it's actually just the child's nature to be obedient and sweet. Other children have different wiring and are not only more oppositional but more susceptible to the influence of the worst aspects of society. So while I congratulate you on your wonderful girls, their wonderfulness may not be entirely due to you.
Believe me, I felt the same way about my child--that my husband and I were responsible for all that charm, sunshine, and great behavior--until Child #2 came along and we found out how much of this stuff is hard-wired.
Exactly. I have known a number of families with multiple kids, all raised in a consistent nurturing environment. They will tell you that kids are a genetic/temperment crap-shoot, or else there was a mix-up at the hospital.
She disrespected her family on line once before and he told her not to do it again. She did it again, she was warned. I’ve seen people throw out their kids stuff as punishment, this is no different.
It’s really important to not judge his parenting skills until you’ve walked in his shoes. Obviously enough was enough and he means business that whatever is going on needs to stop.
Good dad! Consequences for actions has to be the most important lesson a parent can impart to their children. You can’t make them learn the lesson but it’s very important to give it.
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