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Obama Strives to Overcome “Checks-and-Balances” Impediments to Change
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Feb 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 02/11/2012 12:22:30 PM PST by John Semmens

President Barack Obama tried to console frustrated supporters by placing blame for the slow pace of change on the nation’s “founding fathers.”

“You and I know what needs to be done to bring social justice to every American,” the President observed. “But our enemies in Congress and the states are exploiting loopholes left in the Constitution by our nation’s early leaders. The requirement that laws must be approved by both houses of Congress enables obstructionists to block the mandate I received from voters in 2008. The autonomy granted the states under the Tenth Amendment insulates them from total compliance with national priorities I have established.”

A ray of hope for the president’s supporters was provided by his unilateral extension and amendment of the “No Child Left Behind” legislation. The original goal was to have all students become proficient in math and reading by 2014. It is apparent that this will not happen. Since 2007 Congress has been unable to agree on what to do regarding funding, standards and deadlines.

The President says he has decided to exempt 10 states from meeting the proficiency requirements. “The notion that a person must become proficient in math or reading in order to function in the modern world is mistaken,” Obama declared. “Today information is conveyed more effectively in pictures and sounds. Reading and writing are archaic skills no more necessary than the ability to hunt game for food.”

“And who really needs to know math?” the president asked. “We have computers, calculators and cash registers to do that for us. Insisting that students must comprehend math in order to graduate inflicts pure drudgery upon our youth.”

Exempted states will be permitted to use other standards to determine whether students are progressing satisfactorily in school. Obama urged that “higher, more honest standards be adopted as measures. I think the development of social consciousness in our young would be a higher goal for us to aim at than the simplistic mastery of out-dated and obsolete skills originally laid out by the ‘No Child Left Behind’ law.”

In related news, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg advised the newly elected Egyptian government to shun the U.S. Constitution as a model. “The US Constitution has too many impediments to successful governance,” Ginsburg warned. “The majority’s will is too easily thwarted by a minority. For example, despite your country’s overwhelming selection of Islamists in the recent election, if you were to adopt a U.S.-style Constitution you might be unable to enact sharia laws even if the vast majority desires it.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: bhofascism; craptire; ignorance; nobama2012; notworthreading; obama; obamatruthfile; satire; stupid; tyranny; wasteoftime

1 posted on 02/11/2012 12:22:33 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Doh!! Semi-satire snags me again..

2 posted on 02/11/2012 12:45:45 PM PST by AndrewB (FUBO)
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To: AndrewB
Doh!! Semi-satire snags me again..

Yeah me too! We can only take some miserable form of consolation that this is only semi-satire.

3 posted on 02/11/2012 12:53:50 PM PST by Focault's Pendulum (If Obama was any more thin skinned, he'd have a receptacle end: Dennis Miller)
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