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Miller Lite

Posted on 02/16/2012 3:28:22 PM PST by NKP_Vet

There is a hidden message here that women cannot understand, some men may, and all street cops will. A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue.

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Miller Lite he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Miller Lite, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his Miller Lite stupor."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk on Miller Lite, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: belongsinbreaking; notfunny

1 posted on 02/16/2012 3:28:29 PM PST by NKP_Vet
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To: NKP_Vet

My dad would have loved this one!!


2 posted on 02/16/2012 3:34:29 PM PST by Sacajaweau
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To: NKP_Vet
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

You ain't gotta tell her nothin, you done already told her twice .

3 posted on 02/16/2012 3:34:35 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum (Government is the religion of the fascists.)
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To: NKP_Vet

Jokes about domestic violence? Really?


4 posted on 02/16/2012 3:40:12 PM PST by 31R1O
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To: 31R1O
Why not?

It's sharia compliant.

5 posted on 02/16/2012 3:59:50 PM PST by rawcatslyentist (BO Stinks!)
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To: NKP_Vet; Writer

If you are a Santorum supporter, you just made some big headlines. lol


6 posted on 02/16/2012 4:00:37 PM PST by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: rawcatslyentist

I don’t care for savage behavior from anyone. Jokes about barbaric behavior makes light of it.


7 posted on 02/16/2012 4:07:34 PM PST by 31R1O
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To: 31R1O

Reverse the roles.

Make it about men.

It’s funny then. At least on TV.


8 posted on 02/16/2012 4:14:23 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This mean Liberals and/or Libertarians (Same Thing) NO LIBS.))
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To: 31R1O

I’m with you on this.


9 posted on 02/16/2012 4:20:31 PM PST by GSWarrior
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To: 31R1O
Jokes about domestic violence? Really?

Agreed. Some things are just not funny.

10 posted on 02/16/2012 4:21:01 PM PST by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and must be eradicated)
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To: NKP_Vet

Okay, I laughed, LOL.


11 posted on 02/16/2012 4:44:55 PM PST by CatherineofAragon (I can haz Romney's defeat?)
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To: NKP_Vet

12 posted on 02/16/2012 4:47:07 PM PST by TigersEye (Life is about choices. Your choices. Make good ones.)
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To: NKP_Vet

So what are we talking here—domestic battery as a class A misdemeanor or a class D felony?


13 posted on 02/16/2012 4:56:02 PM PST by tumblindice (Whitey-American: Taxed Enough Already)
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To: 31R1O
Making light of a grim reminder of the savages amongst us.

Denial of existence, does not mean it's non existence.

14 posted on 02/16/2012 4:58:09 PM PST by rawcatslyentist (BO Stinks!)
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To: NKP_Vet

If more people used this method, there would be much less domestic abuse. I don’t care what anyone else says. That is funny


15 posted on 02/16/2012 4:58:15 PM PST by Figment
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To: tumblindice

Making jokes about it is apparently felony stupid. Which is why I clicked in...just to watch.


16 posted on 02/16/2012 5:03:52 PM PST by Cyber Liberty ("If the past sits in judgment on the present, the future will be lost." --Winston Churchill)
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To: Figment

The first time I heard this joke I coulda sworn it was how the guy comes home, doesn’t talk to her about his day at work, just grabs a beer and watches TV, doesn’t listen to me, etc.

Granted, I still chuckled at the punch line, but I can see how the black eyes is a bit offensive.

In real life I would hope the doctor would tell her to get a gun and kill the bum the next time he attacks her.


17 posted on 02/16/2012 5:08:13 PM PST by 21twelve
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To: Cyber Liberty

I’m always seeing photos in the newspaper of sad sacks of s***, usually on a Saturday or Sunday morning, who decided to give the little woman a `tune-up,’ for whatever reason.
They usually look hungover. None of them are laughing.


18 posted on 02/16/2012 5:09:26 PM PST by tumblindice (Whitey-American: Taxed Enough Already)
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To: FatherofFive

Hey, if he roles were reversed the liberals would love it.


19 posted on 02/16/2012 5:16:51 PM PST by rcofdayton
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To: rcofdayton
Hey, if he roles were reversed the liberals would love it.

cf. the following via Instapundit:

KATHERINE HEIGL’S HATRED OF TESTICLES:

“Unfortunately I can’t cut the nuts off human men — yet,” Heigl, 33, quips in the video. “So I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs because that’s legal.”

Hilarious.

20 posted on 02/16/2012 5:37:40 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: 31R1O

I agree. I have a sister who was abused by her boyfriend. It was not funny then and it is not funny now.


21 posted on 02/16/2012 6:18:48 PM PST by lastchance ("Nisi credideritis, non intelligetis" St. Augustine)
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To: rcofdayton
Hey, if he roles were reversed the liberals would love it.

cf. the following via Instapundit:

KATHERINE HEIGL’S HATRED OF TESTICLES:

“Unfortunately I can’t cut the nuts off human men — yet,” Heigl, 33, quips in the video. “So I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs because that’s legal.”

Hilarious.

22 posted on 02/16/2012 9:58:07 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: NKP_Vet

THIS IS NOT “FUNNY”, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE NOOB IF YOU WANT TO TELL “JOKES” LIKE THIS!


23 posted on 02/17/2012 8:02:16 AM PST by US Navy Vet (Go Packers! Go Rockies! Go Boston Bruins! See, I'm "Diverse"!)
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