Posted on 03/03/2012 8:11:47 PM PST by NKP_Vet
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads ......
Bubba,
Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter
I tried that and found this message on my door:
“Listen up, Goober. The dogs musta been gone when I showed up so I left a little surprize for you. Friends of the Mailman.”
First, catch you an alligator ....
That's just a typical yankee joke!
Southern people don't feel any need to advertise our personal choices regarding home security systems.
The uncertainty keeps both the thieves and the Sheriff under control.
To the thieves, we ask what does the Sheriff's opinion of the situation matter?
To the Sheriff we ask what thief are you talking about?
I don’t even know him...but i think he just smiled at ya!!!......God bless!
That’s one of my bumperstickers.
My son has a beagle that opens cans of dog food with his teeth. I’m positive he would see an intruder as another meal.
And Bubba. Lots and lots of Bubbas.
You owe Mrs Magslinger an apology. My laughing woke her up.
“Everybody in the South knows someone named Cooter. LOL!!!”
I never did. Lots of Bubbas and even a Cletus but no Cooters.
I never did. Lots of Bubbas and even a Cletus but no Cooters.
I know of an Apple, large black guy who jumps out in front of cars on a 2 lane road for a ride to the store. Damn miracle that he’s still alive.
Thorizine = Thorazine? ;)
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