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President Calls Oil “Fuel of the Past”
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 March 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/11/2012 2:32:58 PM PDT by John Semmens

President Obama begged voters to back his vision of an oil-free future for America.

“There will come a day when we will wean ourselves from this fuel of the past,” Obama proclaimed. “Reliance on oil-based fuels has lulled us into lives of gluttony and waste. We have gotten soft because we drive when we should walk. We have gotten lazy because it’s easier to turn up the thermostat than to put on a sweater.”

“There are environmentally-friendly ways for us to live,” the president continued. “I see a future when mighty vessels powered by the wind carry goods and people to distant destinations. I see a harmonious communal lifestyle where body heat is more effectively deployed to warm our homes and work places. I see a people content to live more naturally, more humbly without the unnecessary frills we have been brainwashed to want.”

Of course, creating this utopia won’t be easy. The president acknowledged that sacrifices would have to be made. “Right now, too many of us are hooked on oil,” Obama said. “Breaking this addiction will be costly and painful. My Republican opponents are seeking to exploit your addiction by offering policies that will make oil cheaper and more plentiful. But I’m asking you to reject their siren song. Be strong. Help me build an oil-free future for our country.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2012/03/10/film-biographer-in-awe-of-obama/


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; History; Politics
KEYWORDS: craptire; energy; environment; notworthreading; oil; satire; stupid; wasteoftime

1 posted on 03/11/2012 2:33:04 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Psst, buddy, Wanna buy a jug of petrol? You’re not a cop are ya?


2 posted on 03/11/2012 2:37:48 PM PDT by TigersEye (Life is about choices. Your choices. Make good ones.)
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To: John Semmens

And soon Ubama will be a “President of the past.”


3 posted on 03/11/2012 2:38:40 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Government is the religion of the sociopaths.)
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To: John Semmens
Your kidding? Did he really say that!?

If he did,he has LOST his mind! He wants us to go back to 1700s.

I hope there is tape of this.

4 posted on 03/11/2012 2:42:01 PM PDT by painter (Rebuild The America We love!)
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To: painter

Apparently the “semi news/semi satire” under the headline eluded you...


5 posted on 03/11/2012 2:45:58 PM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Willard Romney, purveyor of the world's finest bullmitt. | FR Class of 1998 |)
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To: John Semmens
"My Republican opponents are seeking to exploit your addiction by offering policies that will make oil cheaper and more plentiful."

The Republicans need to use this sound bite in a commercial: "Mr. Obama, contrary to what you think, the American people do not consider the use of oil to be an "addiction." They are not addicts. Yes, the Republicans are offering policies to make it cheaper and more plentiful."

6 posted on 03/11/2012 2:50:14 PM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: John Semmens

Yes, I know, satire.
The sub-elitists will think their condos will be heated and cooled by pixie dust and unicorn skittle poop.
The real elitists - nomenklatura - will have their dachas heated and cooled as they see fit - just ask Comrade AlGore.


7 posted on 03/11/2012 2:59:00 PM PDT by Fred Hayek (FUBO, the No Talent Pop Star pResident.)
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To: Keith in Iowa

I saw that after my post. It still wouldn’t suprise me if obama said it.


8 posted on 03/11/2012 3:01:51 PM PDT by painter (Rebuild The America We love!)
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To: John Semmens

Decades old data indicates a narrow temperatue range for human comfort which allows for increased levels of production for instance. Unfortunately these conditions rarely exist in nature for an extended period of time. There is no justification not to create these conditions for people none! There is only a belief in a false religion of gaia worship.


9 posted on 03/11/2012 3:02:45 PM PDT by smaug6 (We can't afford to be innocent!! Stand up and face the enemy.)
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To: John Semmens
We have gotten soft because we drive when we should walk. We have gotten lazy because it’s easier to turn up the thermostat than to put on a sweater.

Well, this part is accurate. We ARE soft and lazy compared to people a century ago.

10 posted on 03/11/2012 3:09:07 PM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: John Semmens

After you have destroyed Capitalism, the humans that are still alive will be rubbing sticks together and using bones for the worship of the devil.


11 posted on 03/11/2012 3:11:58 PM PDT by jonrick46 (Countdown to 11-06-2012)
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To: John Semmens
We have gotten soft because we drive when we should walk. We have gotten lazy because it’s easier to turn up the thermostat than to put on a sweater.

Well, this part is accurate. We ARE soft and lazy compared to people a century ago.

12 posted on 03/11/2012 3:11:58 PM PDT by Sherman Logan
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To: John Semmens

Popcorn is popped John, sitting back and watching the thread fireworks.


13 posted on 03/11/2012 3:18:07 PM PDT by Free Vulcan (Election 2012 - America stands or falls. No more excuses. Get involved.)
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To: John Semmens
mighty vessels powered by the wind

Hey, it worked for the Mayflower!

14 posted on 03/11/2012 3:23:01 PM PDT by Excellence (9/11 was an act of faith.)
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To: John Semmens


"Fuel of the Future!"
15 posted on 03/11/2012 3:24:59 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (May Mitt Romney be the Paul Tsongas of 2012.)
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To: John Semmens
I see a future when mighty vessels powered by the wind carry goods and people to distant destinations.

We knew 0bambi was a punk....

A SteamPunk

16 posted on 03/11/2012 3:38:49 PM PDT by spokeshave (Dole/McCain/Romney losers all....NEWT is da Man)
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To: John Semmens
Still marching backward and accelerating.


17 posted on 03/11/2012 3:39:36 PM PDT by clearcarbon
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To: John Semmens
This form a pResident that again proved that his progressive government has failed again like it did for Carter and like it failed 100 years ago.
18 posted on 03/11/2012 3:53:02 PM PDT by mountainlion (I am voting for Sarah after getting screwed again by the DC Thugs.)
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To: John Semmens

This man (Obama) has lost his mind!!

He (Obama) is crazier than a shit-house rat!!

When he an his family and every democrat lives this way then I and my family will—till then I will burn as much energy as I want and am able to pay for!!


19 posted on 03/11/2012 3:57:05 PM PDT by ScareyFast63
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To: painter
You're not kidding!
As much contempt as I feel for the illustrious leader, it's hard to believe he actually said all this. Until proven otherwise, I'm going to assume this is some parody.
20 posted on 03/11/2012 4:39:10 PM PDT by stormhill
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To: Sherman Logan

“We have gotten soft because we drive when we should walk. We have gotten lazy because it’s easier to turn up the thermostat than to put on a sweater.”

“We” is wookie-talk for “You, Sukkkkah!!!”


21 posted on 03/11/2012 4:40:21 PM PDT by jivin gene (Breakin' up is hard to do)
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To: John Semmens

Until an alternative exists that I can use now, oil is the fuel of the PRESENT...


22 posted on 03/11/2012 5:01:32 PM PDT by LRS ("This is silly! It can't be! It can't be!!" "Oh yes it is! I said you wouldn't know the joint.")
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To: John Semmens

If oil is, then coal, hydro and wind are, too. Same with batteries, the Egyptians used them. Windmills to grind grain and other things, hydro to give power for mills and electricity.


23 posted on 03/11/2012 5:06:42 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: LRS
D'OH! Just realized the source! LOL!
24 posted on 03/11/2012 5:13:11 PM PDT by LRS ("This is silly! It can't be! It can't be!!" "Oh yes it is! I said you wouldn't know the joint.")
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To: John Semmens
He's right! Fossil fuels are outdated and only useful for those old industries that made this country the world-wide pariah it is today.

Moonbeams and unicorn farts are the fuels of the future, and Obama is busily sinking money into companies making his dreams (and our nightmares) a reality!

Mark

25 posted on 03/11/2012 7:31:55 PM PDT by MarkL (Do I really look like a guy with a plan?)
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To: GreenHornet

satire.


26 posted on 03/11/2012 7:58:23 PM PDT by calex59
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To: stormhill

satire.


27 posted on 03/11/2012 8:05:59 PM PDT by calex59
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To: John Semmens
For oil to be the "fuel of the past", there must be some other fuel of the present that is better than oil.

Sounds great! And that mystery fuel would be ?

28 posted on 03/11/2012 9:28:56 PM PDT by GBA (Natural Born American)
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To: calex59

Usually I spot these things as satire. With Obama, it’s not always easy to tell the difference.


29 posted on 03/12/2012 5:06:10 AM PDT by GreenHornet
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