Skip to comments.California to Texas Translation Guide (teaching liberals how to speak like normal people)
Posted on 03/27/2012 1:01:29 PM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife
Due to the large number of jobs moving from California to Texas, the Lone Star State has compiled a "Californian to Texan" translation guide.
Who says Texans speak like normal people? I kinda reckon we don’t so much. Frankly, I’m rather proud we don’t. From Geprge W. Bush to Dan Rather, we have out own way of putting things.
Otherwise known as "the truth."
As a Californian, I would remind my Texan friends that a lot of that list applies to them as well.
They haven't forgotten all the controversy their Governor stirred up a few months ago when he tried to explain why "undocumented Texans"...ummm....errr....I mean "illegal aliens" were being granted in-state tuition rates to attend their institutes of higher indoctrination, have they?
What? No translation for “and the horse you rode in on”?
Not in Rather’s case. That man lies like a rug.
I don’t recall Gov. Perry using the term “undocumented Texans.” But I do think he’d give you a big smile and laugh at your joke. Perry is for a sealed border, killed off cartels and NO amnesty (and if it still hasn’t sunk in, he’s supported fencing in urban areas - where it works).
And, in the end, folded like a bad poker hand...
Oh, I know. I was just riffin' on the theme.
Perry did go to great lengths to make excuses for why illegals were getting in-state tuition. That's all I'm saying.
I love Texas and all and I still have friends and family there so I know that most if not all those euphemisms on the left side of the chart are alive and well in Texas just as they are in California.
I’m ok with In-N-Out burgers coming from California to Texas, just not the voters.
He may have been here but he's not a real Texan. Here are some others that had the good fortune of being natives but don't embody authentic Texas values:
I wasn’t talking about values. I was talking about their gift for unique phrasing.
We need to put up a wall to keep them kalifornians out. They screw up everything everywhere they slink off to.
ACK and understood. As much as we all rightfully detest Dan Rather, he did emit some humorous lines during election coverage:
"This race is shakier than cafeteria Jell-O."
"The presidential race still hotter than a Laredo parking lot."
"His lead is as thin as turnip soup."
I'm certain that none of the witticisms are actually his. He lacks the brainpower to come up with anything remotely clever of his own volition. More than likely, a real Texan loaded them on the teleprompter and Rather just read them in his ersatz, totally contrived folksy style.
My family has been here since 1839. The problem with lib policies is it drives some libs into other states where they take their dementia with them. They're probably settling in Austin. Wherever the seat of Govt is, there they are. Always ready to feed at the public trough. As Abe Lincold said when he was walking the streets of DC soon after being elected and was being bombarded with appointment requests from supporters. A reporter asked him why he looked so worried. His response? "Too many pigs for the tits"....
Note to east bound Californians from the state of Texas: Sorry, we’re closed.
We have CR, FR, FM, Spur, Loop, State, US and Interstate roads with a number designation.