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Pelosi Confident Women’s Votes Will Mean Democratic Sweep in November
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 April 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/14/2012 11:09:55 AM PDT by John Semmens

Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) says she is confident she will regain the gavel when Democrats sweep the November elections.

“Just looking at the top of the ticket has to give every Democrat a sense of optimism,” Pelosi crowed. “On the GOP side we have Mitt Romney—a man who virtually imprisoned his own wife, kept her from seeking gainful employment and used her to breed five children—all sons, mind you. Are women going to vote for this kind of misogynist or are they going to appreciate that before he was president Senator Obama helped his wife get a $300,000 no-show job in addition to gifting her with two lovely daughters?”

“If the comparative life stories of the presidential candidates don’t sway female voters the policy differences ought to,” Pelosi argued. “Democrats have a long record of championing women’s rights. Republicans tout marriage and family as the foundation of our social structure. Democrats have freed women from this trap by ensuring that they can still have children without having to marry a man, that the financial support they need is there for the taking from the generosity of the government.”

“Free food, clothing, and shelter isn’t all we Democrats have given to women,” Pelosi went on. “Thanks to Secretary Sebelius, the government has now mandated free birth control for every woman. And President Obama has appointed two women to the Supreme Court. No other president has done that.”

Pelosi admitted to being buoyed by polls showing that Democrats are favored by 65% of female voters. “The path to government of, by, and for women is clear,” Pelosi said. “Voting for President Obama is a no-brainer. However, he can’t do it alone. We need Democratic majorities in Congress to ensure this transformation won’t be blocked. If women unite to vote their interests the Democratic Party will be running things from here on.”

In related news, according to official records, women on the White House staff are paid 18% less than men. This is okay, though, according to White House Chief of Staff Jack Lew because “most of the men have more years of experience. There’s also the issue of job performance. You can’t just make a gender to gender comparison and conclude that somebody’s getting unfair treatment.”

Ironically, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act passed by a Democratic majority Congress in 2009 requires exactly that comparison and conclusion. Whether this Act will be enforced in this instance is unknown.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2012/04/14/pelosi-confident-womens-votes-will-mean-democratic-sweep-in-november/


TOPICS: Government; History; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: democrats; election; satire; women

1 posted on 04/14/2012 11:10:03 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Bar tender! I’ll have what she’s having!


2 posted on 04/14/2012 11:14:19 AM PDT by cableguymn (Good thing I am a conservative. Otherwise I would have to support Mittens like Republicans do.)
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To: John Semmens

It sounds like Nancy REALLY wants that big gavel back. Bad!


3 posted on 04/14/2012 11:14:55 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (ObamaCare is like a stool sample. You have to pass it to find out what's in it.)
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To: John Semmens

Nancy Pelosi is delusional. It’s a travesty and a crime that she is still one of our lawmakers.


4 posted on 04/14/2012 11:15:12 AM PDT by MtBaldy (If Obama is the answer, it must have been a really stupid question)
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To: 43north; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; ...

ping


5 posted on 04/14/2012 11:17:49 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

LOL...if someone gave that witch a shot of truth serum, she’d give that speech for real.


6 posted on 04/14/2012 11:18:14 AM PDT by txrefugee
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To: John Semmens

It’s satire. But it’s also what the CPUSA really thinks.


7 posted on 04/14/2012 11:18:36 AM PDT by Fred Hayek (The Democratic Party is the operational wing of CPUSA.)
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To: John Semmens
Ya just can't make this stuff up.

(Unless your name is John Semmens, then "making stuff up" is a semi-humorous, semi-scary art form.)

Another nice one John!

.

8 posted on 04/14/2012 11:27:14 AM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: John Semmens

So Pelosi thinks this is a male v. female thing.


9 posted on 04/14/2012 11:28:40 AM PDT by Brilliant
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To: Fred Hayek
It is never quite clear how much of these posts are satire & how much actually quoted. But that the Democratic Left has, in fact, attacked Ann Romney, in effect for being a Feminine woman, shows how little they really respect the female American.

The way to respond effectively to the Leftist ideologues is not to humor their pretensions; never to concede their sloganized abuse of Western tradition. The attacks on Ann Romney are absolutely indicative of the deranged, compulsion driven fanaticism, that the Left represents. We should pick up the gauntlet--whether one is a Romney supporter or not--and defend femininity--one of the qualities that Mrs. Pelosi has lost, if she ever had.

William Flax

10 posted on 04/14/2012 11:31:10 AM PDT by Ohioan
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To: John Semmens

I recall, just before the 2010 mid-term elections, that Ms. Pelousy confidently predicted that the Dems would easily retain control of the House of Representatives.


11 posted on 04/14/2012 11:33:39 AM PDT by Signalman
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To: John Semmens
she can sweep-out my basement.
love the satire ping! :-)

12 posted on 04/14/2012 11:38:54 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (the DNC/RNC = D.C. Establishment...old Brazilians saying: $AME 'OL $H!T, D!FFERENT FL!E$. :^)
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To: John Semmens
John, this one is just WAY too close to the truth.

Pelosi comes from the school of (non-)thought that holds productivity as something simply to be willed into existence by government. Let's give everybody free money, so nobody will be poor, and then they'll be inspired to produce and create whatever society needs. Qualifications don't matter - just pay people and see what they can do. :)

13 posted on 04/14/2012 11:42:21 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves (CTRL-GALT-DELETE)
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To: John Semmens

“Are you serious?”


14 posted on 04/14/2012 11:43:35 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (For every black person murdered by a white, thirty-nine white people are murdered by blacks.)
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To: John Semmens

Uuuuhhh, that’s $300,000 per annum, so there’s no confusion....:))


15 posted on 04/14/2012 11:53:42 AM PDT by jennings2004 (President Hayes, Mount Rushmore, telephone, Dear Leader...what a mix!)
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To: John Semmens

JOHN , love you talent and artistic flair.

Your Nancy P should look up and read the Humor Dictionary definition of a “Tongue”! Then only use hers for that primary purpose, never the secondary.
“tongue is a sex organ sometimes used for talking”


16 posted on 04/14/2012 11:57:31 AM PDT by GOYAKLA (Recall/ Impeachment Day, November 6, 2012. FUBO)
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To: John Semmens

I am confident she will be residing in an institution or prison.


17 posted on 04/14/2012 12:04:34 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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To: John Semmens

Another one over the fence.


18 posted on 04/14/2012 12:15:52 PM PDT by KC Burke (Newton's New First Law, Repeal and Restore!)
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To: John Semmens

Nasty Peelousi should never play poker, its too easy to see though her bluff.

She’s wishin in one hand and poopin in the other wondering which will fill up first.


19 posted on 04/14/2012 12:42:24 PM PDT by X-spurt (Its time for ON YOUR FEET or on your knees)
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Not many days go by on FR before I have to double-check to see if a news item is satire or not. The line between satire and “legit” news is getting blurrier all the time.


20 posted on 04/14/2012 12:54:25 PM PDT by Hayride
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To: cableguymn

Is it my imagination...or has Pelosi looked much older since losing leader of the House...I guess she’s missing her ‘Power’ pill. What kind of men are the Democrats to let someone like Pelosi lord it over them...


21 posted on 04/14/2012 1:03:33 PM PDT by shockwaver (shockwaver)
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To: cableguymn

Is it my imagination...or has Pelosi looked much older since losing leader of the House...I guess she’s missing her ‘Power’ pill. What kind of men are the Democrats to let someone like Pelosi lord it over them...


22 posted on 04/14/2012 1:03:33 PM PDT by shockwaver (shockwaver)
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To: John Semmens
Photobucket
23 posted on 04/14/2012 1:08:06 PM PDT by airborne (Paratroopers! Good to the last drop!)
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To: John Semmens

Insider Trading Pelosi can’t wait to get back to those mega-bucks bribes.

Limousine Liberal scum like her make themselves fabulously wealthy in Congress and the White House.

Reference: Pelosi’s net worth increases 62% in one year, while the rest of us are being impoverished by her policies.

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2011/06/16/pelosis-net-worth-grows-62-percent-one-year-media-mum


24 posted on 04/14/2012 1:29:30 PM PDT by FormerACLUmember
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To: John Semmens
I know this is satire John, but it sounds just like the witch from San Fran would say. She must be on drugs and alcohol at the same time, which is a dangerous mixture. That mixture caused a guy to murder an APD officer in Austin last week.

I have a friend who was assigned to CA for her job for several months, and the contest for the most hated politician was between San Fran Nan, Maxine dimwit Waters, Diane Fineswine and Barbra Boxers or briefs.

25 posted on 04/14/2012 1:34:22 PM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Dear God, thanks for the rain, but please let it rain more in Texas. Amen.)
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To: John Semmens

Three hooked before the ping!


26 posted on 04/14/2012 2:16:25 PM PDT by houeto
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To: shockwaver

Beats me. Every time I see her I throw up in my mouth. So I avoid looking at photos of her.


27 posted on 04/14/2012 2:21:36 PM PDT by cableguymn (Good thing I am a conservative. Otherwise I would have to support Mittens like Republicans do.)
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To: John Semmens

“Democrats have a long record of championing women’s rights. Republicans tout marriage and family as the foundation of our social structure. Democrats have freed women from this trap by ensuring that they can still have children without having to marry a man, that the financial support they need is there for the taking from the generosity of the government.”

That’s probably why Ann Coulter has said that as a woman, she would not mind the repeal of the 19th Amendment. Without the women’s vote, another Democrat would never get elected president.


28 posted on 04/14/2012 2:23:23 PM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: John Semmens
that the financial support they need is there for the taking from the generosity of the government.”

Good one, John. My sis-in-law posted an overheard snippet of parental guidance in the ER where she works. Mother to 17 year old daughter; "They're gonna stop payin' for you next year, we really need to get you pregnant, girl."

29 posted on 04/14/2012 3:42:49 PM PDT by HiJinx (A Higher Power is AKA a false god.)
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To: John Semmens

Is that why many prominent Dems are choosing to retire then run for re-election, because their chances at taking back the house are excellent?


30 posted on 04/14/2012 5:24:48 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: John Semmens
http://azconservative.org/2012/04/14/pelosi-confident-womens-votes-will-mean-democratic-sweep-in-november/ I love this $hit, John ........................................FRegards
31 posted on 04/14/2012 5:47:11 PM PDT by gonzo ( Buy more ammo, dammit! You should already have the firearms ... FRegards)
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To: John Semmens

Thanks for the chuckle, and the ping John. Another good one.


32 posted on 04/14/2012 6:41:08 PM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: John Semmens

*guffaw!*


33 posted on 04/14/2012 9:35:45 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: John Semmens
I would have said that Nancy Pelosi was beyond parody, but you have proved me wrong.


34 posted on 04/14/2012 9:40:36 PM PDT by TChad
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To: TChad

Give her a microphone and get out of the way!


35 posted on 04/14/2012 9:48:33 PM PDT by TheCause ("that these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States")
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To: TheCause
Give her a microphone and get out of the way!

She is a Republican campaign asset, there is no question.

36 posted on 04/14/2012 11:08:02 PM PDT by TChad
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To: John Semmens

She’s right, too — the Democrats will be swept right into the Democrat dustpan and emptied into the Democrat trash.

Whoops, sorry for the redundancy. ;’)


37 posted on 04/15/2012 6:10:58 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (FReepathon 2Q time -- https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: John Semmens

dang you got me John.. good one


38 posted on 04/15/2012 8:27:14 PM PDT by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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