Posted on 04/20/2012 10:00:16 PM PDT by John Semmens
President Obama's Press Secretary Jay Carney lashed out at the GOP for “politicizing the upcoming elections.” “They're trying to exploit so-called scandals and policy failures for political gain,” Carney complained.
The scandals referenced by Carney included the sexploits of the Secret Service in Columbia and lavish parties thrown by the General Services Administration (GSA).
“These things aren't the President's fault,” Carney insisted. “Historically, the role of the Secret Service has been to cover up the President's illicit sexual liaisons, not engage in their own. What would've happened to President Kennedy or Clinton if their bodyguards had been as self-serving as those assigned to President Obama?”
“As for the GSA, the biggest scandalous party didn't even cost a million dollars,” Carney pointed out. “It didn't amount to a hill of beans in a budget that's over a trillion dollars in the red. Besides, abusing the expense account is one of the perks of the job. And let's not forget that every dollar spent helps stimulate the economy. So is what they are doing really such a bad thing?”
“Even more absurd is the implication that there have been significant policy failures,” Carney added. “The premise that high unemployment, high gas prices, and high deficits are undesirable is mistaken. These are necessary steps on the path to the social transformation the President promised voters in 2008.”
Carney characterized the “negativity toward the President as disloyalty bordering on treason. It's one thing to run for office. I mean, we wouldn't have much of a democracy if there was only one candidate on the ballot. But tearing down what he's trying to do goes beyond the pro forma requirements of the democratic process.”
In related news, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) urged the President's critics to reconsider. “You know, the President has been so patient and respectful toward these people,” Pelosi contended. “They should remember that it is in his power to have them jailed or even killed if he deems them a threat to the government.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/110208-2012-04-20-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-april-22-2012.htm
And Obama is not?
ping
Uh.....
So.....
(Scrathes head...makes a weird face....)
Elections are NOT supposed to be political??????
John, you’re getting better and better at the satire - I came so close to biting!
You don't always hit the mark, but when you do, it leaves a bruise.
/johnny
ouch that will leave a very big mark
When satire becomes reality.
Truthfully, Carney has become the only redeeming value of this administration. The guy cracks me up.I figure Baghdad Gibbs just couldn’t deliver the lines he needed to any more.
Who else could come up with such crap with a straight face?
(Well, maybe a teenager.)
“He’s speaking in shorthand.”
The title is very funny. If the opposition is smart they will heavily ridicule this President and administration.
Nothing works better. I rarely listen to Rush Limbaugh anymore, but I have never heard a better show than his during the Clinton years. The Jocelyn Elders updates were sheer comedic genius salted with truth. All of his updates were genuinely funny, yet they drove home the truth!
I wish Rush would bring those back. This administration begs for it!
Oh great, that’s the headline I’ve been waiting for! LMAO.
Politics? In an election? Never! Thanks for the laugh Obamabot spokesmouth!
LOL, the Left is always writing about itself.
The usual rant. It’s old and just another boring lie.
[ the GOP for “politicizing the upcoming elections.” ]
Well Duuugh.. Jay is dumber than one of Richards Simmons clients..
I like the way your mind works, a gift for good satire is not common.............
Well what a surprise that an election would be politicized. Then again, in a dictatorship politics don’t exist, only tyranny.
>Obama Press Secretary Says GOP Is Politicizing Election
LOL — Great title... can you just imagine a politicized political election? The nerve of some people!
You had me for about four seconds. But they were long seconds.
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