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Obama Press Secretary Says GOP Is Politicizing Election
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 April 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/20/2012 10:00:16 PM PDT by John Semmens

President Obama's Press Secretary Jay Carney lashed out at the GOP for “politicizing the upcoming elections.” “They're trying to exploit so-called scandals and policy failures for political gain,” Carney complained.

The scandals referenced by Carney included the sexploits of the Secret Service in Columbia and lavish parties thrown by the General Services Administration (GSA).

“These things aren't the President's fault,” Carney insisted. “Historically, the role of the Secret Service has been to cover up the President's illicit sexual liaisons, not engage in their own. What would've happened to President Kennedy or Clinton if their bodyguards had been as self-serving as those assigned to President Obama?”

“As for the GSA, the biggest scandalous party didn't even cost a million dollars,” Carney pointed out. “It didn't amount to a hill of beans in a budget that's over a trillion dollars in the red. Besides, abusing the expense account is one of the perks of the job. And let's not forget that every dollar spent helps stimulate the economy. So is what they are doing really such a bad thing?”

“Even more absurd is the implication that there have been significant policy failures,” Carney added. “The premise that high unemployment, high gas prices, and high deficits are undesirable is mistaken. These are necessary steps on the path to the social transformation the President promised voters in 2008.”

Carney characterized the “negativity toward the President as disloyalty bordering on treason. It's one thing to run for office. I mean, we wouldn't have much of a democracy if there was only one candidate on the ballot. But tearing down what he's trying to do goes beyond the pro forma requirements of the democratic process.”

In related news, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) urged the President's critics to reconsider. “You know, the President has been so patient and respectful toward these people,” Pelosi contended. “They should remember that it is in his power to have them jailed or even killed if he deems them a threat to the government.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/110208-2012-04-20-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-april-22-2012.htm


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Politics
KEYWORDS: blogpimp; election; gop; obama; satire
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1 posted on 04/20/2012 10:00:26 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

And Obama is not?


2 posted on 04/20/2012 10:02:27 PM PDT by doc1019 (Romney will never get my vote!)
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To: 43north; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; ...

ping


3 posted on 04/20/2012 10:02:27 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Uh.....

So.....

(Scrathes head...makes a weird face....)

Elections are NOT supposed to be political??????


4 posted on 04/20/2012 10:09:37 PM PDT by Nik Naym (It's not my fault... I have compulsive smartass disorder.)
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To: John Semmens

John, you’re getting better and better at the satire - I came so close to biting!


5 posted on 04/20/2012 10:09:46 PM PDT by knittnmom (Save the earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!)
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To: John Semmens
I did LOL at the title itself. I may pull that on some democrats tomorrow. I'll bet they agree.

You don't always hit the mark, but when you do, it leaves a bruise.

/johnny

6 posted on 04/20/2012 10:12:42 PM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: John Semmens

ouch that will leave a very big mark


7 posted on 04/20/2012 10:15:50 PM PDT by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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To: John Semmens

When satire becomes reality.

Truthfully, Carney has become the only redeeming value of this administration. The guy cracks me up.I figure Baghdad Gibbs just couldn’t deliver the lines he needed to any more.

Who else could come up with such crap with a straight face?

(Well, maybe a teenager.)

“He’s speaking in shorthand.”


8 posted on 04/20/2012 10:16:02 PM PDT by berdie
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To: JRandomFreeper

The title is very funny. If the opposition is smart they will heavily ridicule this President and administration.

Nothing works better. I rarely listen to Rush Limbaugh anymore, but I have never heard a better show than his during the Clinton years. The Jocelyn Elders updates were sheer comedic genius salted with truth. All of his updates were genuinely funny, yet they drove home the truth!

I wish Rush would bring those back. This administration begs for it!


9 posted on 04/20/2012 10:21:19 PM PDT by volunbeer (Don't worry America, our kids can pay for it!)
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To: John Semmens
You're causing a big smile to come upon my face. {;^)
10 posted on 04/20/2012 10:23:10 PM PDT by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty, and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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11 posted on 04/20/2012 10:24:13 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: John Semmens

Oh great, that’s the headline I’ve been waiting for! LMAO.


12 posted on 04/20/2012 10:24:33 PM PDT by Attention Surplus Disorder (A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walk into a bar. Bartender says "what'll it be, Mitt?")
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To: John Semmens

Politics? In an election? Never! Thanks for the laugh Obamabot spokesmouth!


13 posted on 04/20/2012 10:29:02 PM PDT by CountryClassSF
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To: John Semmens

LOL, the Left is always writing about itself.


14 posted on 04/20/2012 10:31:05 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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To: John Semmens

The usual rant. It’s old and just another boring lie.


15 posted on 04/20/2012 10:31:35 PM PDT by TribalPrincess2U (Anyone not wanting an ID or purple thumb to vote isn't worthy of voting privilege.)
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To: John Semmens

[ the GOP for “politicizing the upcoming elections.” ]

Well Duuugh.. Jay is dumber than one of Richards Simmons clients..


16 posted on 04/20/2012 10:45:32 PM PDT by hosepipe (This propaganda has been edited to include some fully orbed hyperbole...)
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To: John Semmens

I like the way your mind works, a gift for good satire is not common.............


17 posted on 04/20/2012 10:52:14 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: John Semmens

Well what a surprise that an election would be politicized. Then again, in a dictatorship politics don’t exist, only tyranny.


18 posted on 04/20/2012 11:03:38 PM PDT by Jukeman (God help us for we are deep in trouble.)
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To: John Semmens

>Obama Press Secretary Says GOP Is Politicizing Election

LOL — Great title... can you just imagine a politicized political election? The nerve of some people!


19 posted on 04/20/2012 11:07:37 PM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: John Semmens

You had me for about four seconds. But they were long seconds.


20 posted on 04/20/2012 11:10:29 PM PDT by TChad
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To: John Semmens

Ummm ... isn’t that what elections are all about, Carney ???


21 posted on 04/20/2012 11:18:28 PM PDT by Lmo56 (If ya wanna run with the big dawgs - ya gotta learn to piss in the tall grass ...)
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To: John Semmens

There is a fine line between reality and satire in the Obama administration.
Some of the things Carney does say in real life are so ludicrous and unreal they are satirical.


22 posted on 04/20/2012 11:49:19 PM PDT by citizencon
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To: John Semmens

This is truely funnny. Elections are nothing but pure politics.


23 posted on 04/21/2012 12:01:37 AM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah, so shall it be again.")
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To: John Semmens
Y'oughta send this to Carney, John. It'll make his head explode ................................ FRegards
24 posted on 04/21/2012 12:05:44 AM PDT by gonzo ( Buy more ammo, dammit! You should already have the firearms ... FRegards)
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To: John Semmens

THIS JUST IN: ELECTIONS ARE POLITICAL


25 posted on 04/21/2012 2:34:30 AM PDT by The Wizard (Madam President is my President now and in the future)
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To: John Semmens

Like stand-up comedy, the best satire is firmly based in fact - you continue to hit it out of the park John.


26 posted on 04/21/2012 4:19:01 AM PDT by trebb ("If a man will not work, he should not eat" From 2 Thes 3)
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To: John Semmens

Bad bad bad, I almost bit.


27 posted on 04/21/2012 4:21:35 AM PDT by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: John Semmens
Most of Obama’s problems can be attributed to the right-leaning national news media.
28 posted on 04/21/2012 5:35:07 AM PDT by John 3_19-21 (More voices, more power.)
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To: John Semmens
I'm confused???. Aren't General Elections and everything leading up to them the very epitome of "political"?
29 posted on 04/21/2012 5:42:49 AM PDT by Whats-wrong-with-the-truth (Romney (aka - obomney)... Just put the (D) behind your name and be done with it.)
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To: John Semmens

Carney characterized the “negativity toward the President as disloyalty bordering on treason.”

***

Now that part may be for real. We are probably all on the Obama enemy list.

Thanks again, John, for the ping.


30 posted on 04/21/2012 5:51:29 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

LOL....excellent! Perhaps your best, yet.


31 posted on 04/21/2012 5:59:04 AM PDT by liberalh8ter (If Barack has a memory like a steel trap, why can't he remember what the Constitution says?)
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To: liberalh8ter

“...disloyalty verging on treason”? Let me see...there is this thing called the Constitution and there is this thing called the Bill of Rights with its “pesky” First Amendment. I guess the faux-professor of the Constitution, nobama, was sleeping through that part of his miseducation. These LIB asshats are hilarous and demand ridicule.


32 posted on 04/21/2012 6:12:34 AM PDT by hal ogen (1st Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: John Semmens

I am laughing.


33 posted on 04/21/2012 6:15:33 AM PDT by Dudoight
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To: John Semmens
to be funny, humor always has to have a ring of truth in it... this could be the next press release
34 posted on 04/21/2012 6:19:39 AM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: hal ogen

Psssst.....this is satire, damn good satire!


35 posted on 04/21/2012 6:22:01 AM PDT by liberalh8ter (If Barack has a memory like a steel trap, why can't he remember what the Constitution says?)
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To: John Semmens

Politicizing an election? The horror! The horror!


36 posted on 04/21/2012 6:23:27 AM PDT by WashingtonSource
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To: liberalh8ter

Just where is my morning coffee?????


37 posted on 04/21/2012 6:23:47 AM PDT by hal ogen (1st Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: hal ogen

LOL...I hear ya! He’s gotten me before, too. This one is especially good. : )


38 posted on 04/21/2012 6:37:21 AM PDT by liberalh8ter (If Barack has a memory like a steel trap, why can't he remember what the Constitution says?)
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To: John Semmens

Isn’t this word for word what piglosi just said?!


39 posted on 04/21/2012 6:46:09 AM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: All

Bolton: Obama taking credit for killing bin-Laden is like Nixon taking credit for landing on the moon

http://www.therightscoop.com/bolton-obama-taking-credit-for-killing-bin-laden-is-like-nixon-taking-credit-for-landing-on-the-moon/


40 posted on 04/21/2012 7:20:15 AM PDT by Hotlanta Mike (TeaNami)
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To: John Semmens

John, I just woke up, turned on the ‘puter, and was thinkin’ about a cup of coffee when this popped on screen, and I began to read it.

I got down to “Historically, the role of the Secret Service has been to cover up the President’s illicit sexual liaisons, not engage in their own.”, and shook my head, and said “hunh!?”

I then went back up to the top, and FINALLY READ THE HEADLINE, and saw your name. It was then I knew I had to wake up, and be on the alert for a very good read.

Thanks for the chuckle, and thanks for the ping. Always a pleasure to read one of your good satires, but best really to be awake when doing so.


41 posted on 04/21/2012 8:07:57 AM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: John Semmens

Scandals and policy failures are the only things Obama has on his record,so what else is there to talk about?.


42 posted on 04/21/2012 8:55:28 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: All

Signs and wonders for the Obama faithful

http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/04/signs_and_wonders_for_the_obama_faithful.html


43 posted on 04/21/2012 9:35:08 AM PDT by Hotlanta Mike (Resurrect the House Committee on Un-American Activities (HCUA)...before there is no America!)
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To: John Semmens

lol


44 posted on 04/21/2012 9:59:01 AM PDT by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: John Semmens

LOL outstanding.


45 posted on 04/21/2012 10:00:40 AM PDT by Cringing Negativism Network (Obama ate his own dog as a child in Indonesia??)
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To: John Semmens; mazda77; vette6387; freekitty; flat; unkus; justiceseeker93; seekthetruth; ...

In my opinion, this is a perfect example of the pot (Liberals) calling the kettle black. LOL


46 posted on 04/21/2012 10:15:42 AM PDT by ExTexasRedhead
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To: ExTexasRedhead

You got that right.


47 posted on 04/21/2012 10:51:20 AM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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To: John Semmens

Had me for a second there.


48 posted on 04/21/2012 10:52:19 AM PDT by 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten
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To: John Semmens

LOL, your headlines are the best!
Again as is often the case in Bizarro ObamaLand, fiction is extremely close to reality. I especially liked the Nancy Pelosi “quote”.

Cheers


49 posted on 04/21/2012 1:25:26 PM PDT by TheConservativeParty ("Liberalism lives in a gated community surrounded by a mote." R.H.Limbaugh 4-3-2012)
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To: John Semmens
:-D
...never again, keep me on the ping list.

50 posted on 04/21/2012 6:03:21 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (the DNC/RNC = D.C. Establishment...Brazilian saying: $AME OLD $H!T, W!TH D!FFERENT FL!E$. :^)
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