Skip to comments.Exclusive: Obama Insider Reveals Secret Strategy to Beat Romney
Posted on 05/01/2012 8:05:38 AM PDT by Kaslin
Opinions are like a $50,000 government debt in America, everyone has one. So we here at Klavan on the Culture are committed to going beyond mere bloviational opinionating to get you the sort of facts, insights, and interviews that only we can make up. In that spirit, today we bring you our exclusive interview with a man who rarely comes out of the shadows into the limelight: Neil Lister, the strategist behind the strategists for Barack Obamas 2012 presidential campaign.
KOC: Mr. Lister, thank you for talking to me.
LISTER: My pleasure.
KOC: Im going to be very blunt here. I dont understand how the president can run on his record. In July of 2008, Mr. Obama called George W. Bush irresponsible and unpatriotic for adding 4 trillion dollars to the national debt over 8 years. But in less than 4 years, Mr. Obama has added 5 trillion dollars to our debt and has proposed no reforms except a bogus tax on rich people which would accomplish virtually nothing. At the same time he keeps trying to buy off voters by offering things like student loan subsidies and other unfunded entitlements that would actually add to the debt. How do you propose to address this issue?
LISTER: Well, the debt is a very serious problem, but by the same token, I think you have to agree that Mitt Romney drove for twelve hours with his dog in a crate on top of his car.
LISTER: Hes been cited for cruelty by two different animal rights groups.
KOC: Well, okay, but, in his book Dreams From My Father, President Obama says he actually ate a dog!
LISTER: I dont think we should be talking about dogs at a serious moment like this. Dogs are just a distraction.
KOC: Fine, lets get back to the economy. Entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare are projected to consume all tax revenues within thirty years. Social Security could be operating at a deficit within only two years. Congressman Paul Ryan has put forward a serious and politically courageous plan to address entitlement reform. What will be the presidents approach?
LISTER: Were on it. Even as we speak, we have hired an actor who looks like Congressman Ryan to pretend to push an old woman in a wheelchair off a cliff. I dont see how the GOP can answer that, especially when you consider that Mitt Romneys ancestors may have been bigamists.
KOC: Mitt Romneys ancestors? Barack Obamas father was a bigamist!
LISTER: I dont think we should be talking about bigamy at a serious moment like this. Bigamy is just a distraction.
KOC: All right then, lets talk about foreign policy…
LISTER: Obama killed Osama bin Laden.
KOC: Yes, thats great but…
LISTER: It was a gutsy call.
KOC: Maybe so, but…
LISTER: Mitt Romney would never have done it. He wouldve let Osama escape to kill again.
KOC: Well, thats absurd and actually kind of despicable.
LISTER: I never said it.
KOC: Look, what Im trying to get at here is that, under President Obama, Iran continues to develop nuclear weapons, the Middle East seems to be increasingly under the rule of Islamists, we’re quietly losing the war in Afghanistan, and Iraq, a war President Bush actually had won, has been all but abandoned.
LISTER: All that may be true, but Rush Limbaugh called a woman a slut.
KOC: I beg your pardon?
LISTER: The Republicans are waging a war on women.
KOC: Republicans? Democrats have been calling women like Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann far worse things than slut for years!
LISTER: I dont think we should be talking about women at a serious moment like this. Women are just a distraction.
KOC: Women are a distraction??
LISTER: I never said that.
KOC: You just said it right now.
LISTER: This was not a statement I personally heard while I was sitting here.
KOC: I can play back the tape.
LISTER: Look, just because some guy in the neighborhood says something, that doesnt reflect on the president.
KOC: What guy in the neighborhood? It was you! Neil Lister.
LISTER: Its a common name. I personally know three Neil Listers.
KOC: But this one was you!
LISTER: Heres my point. This great country has always been committed to the fairness of everyone rising to the occasion of a vision of a future where college can bring justice to those who would look away from the seriousness of unfair and oppressive policies of the past that got us into this situation in the first place.
LISTER: Oh my God, your hairs on fire!
KOC: My hair! Help! Quick, get me some water! Wait a minute, I dont have any hair. Mr. Lister? Where did he go? He was here just a minute ago…
TO the author(s)... Well Done.
Klavan and Bill Wittle are the absolute stars of Youtube. I post their stuff all the time on a liberal site and the guys are beside themselves. A couple have gone as far as to say they don’t open youtube links. ;-)
I looked up Andrew Klavan. I’m good, but this guy is wayyyyy better.
Good morning, I’d like to have an argument, please.
Truth is probably stranger than fiction isn’t it?
Irrefutable rule #3:
It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place.
An honest person can’t defeat a dishonest person, the tactics required are not in his nature.
RACISTS!! All of you.
The way to beat Barack is simple. You go after his white half.
“While as Americans we admire that Barack is the first 1/2 African American to hold the office of President, it is his incompetent white, christian male half that has brought America down.”
Wonder how the minorities will take to that?
If enough people buy into this “helter-skelter” campaign and not enough vote against nobama, we deserve to have freedom taken away.
I suspect that the only ones nobama is attracting wi5th a directionless strategy are the freeloaders and far lefties who are afraid the Cracka-cash tsunami won’t continue without nobama.
LOL! Some of that sounds so familiar.
Well, that's the people he 'grew up' with.
With the crude manner he is now using, even blood kin will become embarrassed.
Easy there, it won't be long until WASPs are a minority too.