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New Al Qaeda Underwear Bombs are Undetectable?
Brian Koenig ^ | 5/9/12 | Brian Koenig

Posted on 05/09/2012 12:51:19 PM PDT by Freemarkets101

"Al Qaeda goes retro with exploding underwear."  That about says it, the "sultans of style" in the Al Qaeda passe have just launched their new Spring lingerie product line.  It's, well, rather explosive.

I'm not sure how comfortable they are, but who cares, they explode -- well sometimes, and they don't always carry the desired effect, at least they didn't for that African guy who tried to explode an airliner over Detroit, but instead got a free wax job.

Underwear is the bomb in Yemen

Al Qaeda bomb maker Ibrahim Hassan Asiri is reputed to be the designer of the new nasty knickers. This week, the CIA, working with Saudi Arabia’s spy service, gave the world a first look at Asiri’s handiwork -- a pair of extra-large briefs packed with a small bomb without metallic parts that might set off airport security alarms.

Asiri and his Al Qaeda crew, of course, wanted to keep their exploding panties under wraps until they were revealed on the runway -- an airport runway -- but a CIA informant posing as a suicide bomber ruined their plan. The operation that exposed the underwear also revealed the location of a major Al Qaeda operative, Fahd Mohammed Ahmed Quso. The CIA delivered a lethal greeting to Quso as he stepped out of his car somewhere in Yemen on Sunday, demonstrating that, when it comes to blowing things up, a drone is a great deal more effective than a pair of tighty-whiteys.

I called, and, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they're out of pink.  Please, don't blow up the messenger.


TOPICS: Politics
KEYWORDS: satire

1 posted on 05/09/2012 12:51:22 PM PDT by Freemarkets101
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To: Freemarkets101
New Al Qaeda Underwear Bombs are Undetectable?

Depends....

2 posted on 05/09/2012 12:54:00 PM PDT by Mikey_1962 (Obama: The Affirmative Action President.)
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To: Mikey_1962

The Al Qaeda Collection: New from Victoria’s Secret


3 posted on 05/09/2012 12:55:07 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Freemarkets101
Look for the guy or girl with the missing backside, front-side or both. Easy to pick them out in the crowd.
4 posted on 05/09/2012 12:59:59 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: Freemarkets101

Just wait until the sand monkeys invent a non-metallic tampon torpedo, or a miniature suppository submarine.

Hands on searches at the airports will be quite interesting.

But as some misguided people, even on FR, say, we have no right to fly. (morons)


5 posted on 05/09/2012 1:00:25 PM PDT by Wurlitzer (Nothing says "ignorance" like Islam!)
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To: Freemarkets101

That means there are no panty lines?


6 posted on 05/09/2012 1:01:47 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Freemarkets101

Now watch the TSA go berserk on all passengers but muslims.


7 posted on 05/09/2012 1:06:59 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: Freemarkets101

Now the TSA really will require us to go through lines naked...


8 posted on 05/09/2012 1:08:03 PM PDT by Future Snake Eater (CrossFit.com)
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To: Freemarkets101

Muhammed al-Mohammed just got a new package of “Fruit-of-KABOOMs”


9 posted on 05/09/2012 1:09:36 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: Future Snake Eater
If the TSA did that the moslem women could not fly. Now all that is needed is a method to control the moslem men.
10 posted on 05/09/2012 1:10:20 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: Freemarkets101

Everyone flies “commando”


11 posted on 05/09/2012 1:10:20 PM PDT by The Sons of Liberty (Sworn to Defend The Constitution Against ALL Enemies, Foreign and Domestic. So Help Me GOD!)
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To: 353FMG
Trying to keep up with advances in devices is a fool's errand. We need to do what El Al does; profile passengers. Nothing is or ever will be 100% effective but they have been extremely effective in thwarting attacks for decades.
12 posted on 05/09/2012 1:13:26 PM PDT by Old North State (Don't blame me, I voted for Pedro)
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To: Future Snake Eater

I would also expect their budget for rubber exam gloves to sky rocket.


13 posted on 05/09/2012 1:17:13 PM PDT by 556x45
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To: Freemarkets101

My guess is any Al Qaeda guy wearing underwear would be suspicious.


14 posted on 05/09/2012 1:19:02 PM PDT by ImJustAnotherOkie (zerogottago)
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To: Future Snake Eater

I would also expect their budget for rubber exam gloves to sky rocket.


15 posted on 05/09/2012 1:23:04 PM PDT by 556x45
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To: ImJustAnotherOkie

Free Skivvie Zone!!


16 posted on 05/09/2012 1:24:01 PM PDT by wxgesr (I want to be the first person to surf on another planet.)
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To: no-to-illegals
If the TSA did that the moslem women could not fly. Now all that is needed is a method to control the moslem men.

Female inspectors...

17 posted on 05/09/2012 1:25:01 PM PDT by LambSlave
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To: LambSlave

Female inspectors

Dressed in Hooters outfits

With bacon

lots of bacon.


18 posted on 05/09/2012 1:32:07 PM PDT by Texas resident (Hunkered Down)
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To: Freemarkets101

*ping*


19 posted on 05/09/2012 1:41:25 PM PDT by Java4Jay (The evils of government are directly proportional to the tolerance of the people.)
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To: Freemarkets101

Can’t wait to see what TSA’s response to this little development will be.


20 posted on 05/09/2012 1:41:41 PM PDT by Busywhiskers ("Once you have wrestled, everything else in life is easy" -Dan Gable)
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To: Old North State

“....profile passengers.”

.
We are already profiling non-muslims.

What else do you want?


21 posted on 05/09/2012 1:47:41 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: Freemarkets101

islam is the enemy of America; expel it from America, don’t allow it back in, and America is safe.

Implementing would be cheap and quick.


22 posted on 05/09/2012 1:56:17 PM PDT by PieterCasparzen (We have to fix things ourselves.)
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To: LambSlave
The moslem men would prohibit the moslem women from flying (imho). Could be wrong though. The moslem women do have an additional place to hide explosives. One more place than the men. Since there are female inspectors with TSA this would be the line of deterrence. Doubt it would work, but the moslem men may would solve the problem, concerning moslem women flying if their women had to undress and fly undressed (perhaps).
23 posted on 05/09/2012 1:57:11 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: LambSlave

Now that I think further ... thinking I know what you meant ... can say the 911 hijack crowd visited strip bars in Florida. With the control moslem men exert over their moslem women, the moslem men would not be afraid like American men would be of their wives if female inspectors were utilized. A moslem women would address her mate as yes dear to a female touching her husband. An American man would be terrified, if he had any common sense, for an American woman would be ... let’s say, less than pleased.


24 posted on 05/09/2012 2:24:47 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: no-to-illegals
The moslem women do have an additional place to hide explosives

If you're predicting the emergence of the Tampon Bomber, go to the head of the class.


25 posted on 05/09/2012 2:46:55 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Larry Lucido

That means there are no panty lines.

Sara Blakley at Spanx got the contract. How else did she become a billionaire? J/k. She’s a friend.


26 posted on 05/09/2012 2:57:19 PM PDT by goseminoles
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To: Buckeye McFrog

Thank you for the endorsement. Must digress though, am unworthy.


27 posted on 05/09/2012 6:32:07 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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