Could this be a contributing factor to the downfall of the male?
Posted on 05/11/2012 10:46:01 PM PDT by Olog-hai
I recently spent some time with a friend who has three children. My buddy, whom I've known since fifth grade, is a college-educated responsible guy who has never failed to do right by his family. When describing him, "well-rounded" comes to mind. He's masculine but not macho, sensitive but nowhere near maudlin, perceptive, intuitive, caring, compassionate. Like I said, well-rounded. His wife is as solid as a rock.
His oldest son, 40, never earned as much as a high school diploma, has had perennial problems with alcohol, and presently earns a living working in a record store. His youngest, another son, is rapidly approaching 30. Like his older brother, he's clearly intelligent and capable, yet he's barely supporting himself at menial jobs, still taking college classes, and has no sense of what he wants to do with his life. By contrast, my buddy's daughter, the middle child, is a go-getter. She's a top performer at her workplace and seems overall in command of her life.
For the first time in history, females are emancipating earlier and more successfully than males. This crop of young adult males is certainly shaping up to be the most underachieving generation of men (perpetual boys?) to ever inhabit the USA. I shared the following observation with a recent audience, "When one hears of an individual in their mid-30s who's still living at home or largely dependent on parents for support and has no clear sense of direction in life, it's almost always a male. It starts in high school, where nearly every video game addict is a male. In the adult world, women are graduating from college in larger numbers and are taking over a number of previously male-dominated professions." Everywhere, heads nodded. …
(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...
The media can take a good part of the blame. Check out any random TV commercial. Men are dumb, lazy, wimpy, meat head degenerates. Women are smart, stylish, hold all of the power, and play men like fools.
The friend the writer describes has at least one alcoholic son and one drifting son with an over achieving daughter..... sorry sounds like a family structure that wasn’t very solid to begin with.
My son, in his mid thirties, is doing OK. His mother raised him well. (1/2:-)
Where’s my wire? Dad, it’s wireless. I really like this new service but where is my wire, dad we told you already, It’s wireless. I hate that commercial with a passion. And your right, they portrait mother and daughter as very well dressed, while the dad looks awkward, and average of dress with the scratching of the head like so many ape-like creatures do.
LOL, look at the headline - males aren't destroyed, men are.
There's the problem in a nutshell.
Oh and remember, women are never females, but always women. And they are always happy, successful, empowered and capable, unless, of course, a male is in the way. Then laws need to be passed so that police powers can be used against them, so that women can screw teenage boys er, live in peace.
And women, don't worry, your fantasy dream bubble world will continue to be protected no matter how insane and destructive and malignant and hypocritical you are, as long as you continue to do one teensy thing: vote Democrat.
Don't screw up! : )
My son, in his mid-30’s is doing okay. What my wife and I didn’t accomplish in raising him properly, the Army did, as did some Iraqi rockets, AK47’s and related hardware.
You grow up fast when someone is trying to kill you.
My police officer son helped clean up the yard today.
Not bad for a Jewish kid from Arlington, Va. His sister is even more macho than him and shoots almost as well. Even I get out of her way when she is pissed.
My granddaughter loves “Star Wars” and dinosaurs. I’m raising her right.
However, there are so many namby-pamby little boys out there that they don’t stand a chance in life unless they grow up. That is why real women in DC are disgusted with what they find out there at bars and singles events. Feminized overaged teenagers.
This points out why a strong family is so important in raising children. Kids become what you are, and if you are a wimp and wuss, then your kids will pick up these traits and keep them for life.
As to the first, I agree entirely. Family, Family, Family. To the infant child this is the universe, and when the family shatters, the universe shatters.
As to the second, I submit that this depends on the first. Are you a pillar of the universe, or are you not?
Bahahaha. I’m a 25-year-old college graduate who currently works overnight at a big box store, and still lives with her parents while trying to recover from royally screwing up her life. And ain’t I a woman?
I can’t speak for all the losers in the world, but being a loser isn’t always about lacking ambition. Sometimes, it’s about having ambitions that are too lofty, vague, unrealistic, or far off the paved trail. Effort and desire are great, but knowing precisely where the hell you’re going is even better.
If you want a high-paying career, the kind that will award you the unquestionable right to call yourself “successful,” you certainly have to work your butt off, but in many cases, much of the path to your goal is already mapped out for you. The steps toward becoming a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer, etc., are very demanding, but specific and not too much of a mystery. Achieving your ambition is a matter of having the brains, and then applying yourself to one step, then the next step, then the next.
The steps to becoming a decently-paid writer/singer/composer/artist? Not so well laid-out. You just have to flail around in the dark and hope you become one by accident.
“A boy becomes a man when a man is needed.”
John Steinbeck
The need has never been stronger than now. Trying to “man up” in response to selfish needs won’t work out . . .
I’m reminded of the 29 year old occupier/anarchist on Hannity. What a total WIMP - the perfect democrat “man”. He’d rather complain and demand someone else do something for him than go out there and make his own way and he expected to be paid really well or it wasn’t worth it.
America would have never been discovered, the west never would have been won, Lewis and Clark would have stayed east, WWII would have been lost...if we only had idiots like the 29 year old baby whining on national TV.
The steps to becoming a decently-paid writer/singer/composer/artist?
Also, my husband and I were talking today about several teachers who became rock stars— Alice Cooper, Sting and Mick Jagger. I imagine that having summers off may have given them time to work on their music career.
Finally, the people who do know how to become decently paid artists are around to give advice or commiserate, at least here in LA, in writers workshops and masters’ classes and such.
Best wishes to you in your creative endeavors. And even if you don’t make a great living, I hope you always share your talent somehow.
Because the market research departments of the big companies know which gender really holds the purse-strings in the household, and who really makes the decisions about spending disposable income.
Regards,
But I thought it takes a village to raise a child??!!
/scarcasm
Regards,
Western culture is raising more metrosexuals than men.
Amen Max.....u get it......i cannot believe how screwed up middle and upper class white boys are now.....sissies....let women drive....gay friendly....envy black and latino machismo.....depressing
Schools have lost male teachers, and everything is geared towards girls. They drug the boys to not act like boys. Nobody plays dodge ball anymore. This is where the problem lies - the teachers and their shift away from boys to girls.
Or maybe the unemployed sons don’t see the wisdom in living their lives working, only to have the government take 30% of their earnings to buy votes to keep itself in power. It may be warfare in a less bloody way.
The achieving daughters haven’t caught on yet, but as the tax mules of the next generation, perhaps they will.
It is true but I get really tired of the dumb white male and flip away.
The feminization of our men has been going on for a long time in our schools. It also adds to the problem of males having just given up on trying to do anything. Some guys want to take Home Ec and other such classes..However, the vast majority of men would prefer “shop” over baking, but I doubt whether learning to build things is even available in most schools anymore. The radical women’s movement evidenced by women on motorcycles at a liberation meeting down there in TX a long time ago began the hatred of all things male in America. They tried to see to it that only the feminized male rose to prominence..Most real males had to stay in the shadows and if you were a real male of some prominence, you would be excoriated by the feminized media if you threatened their political goals. This has been a large concern of mine for a long time..Ancient Rome is an example of what happens to such a society. When my children were small, the thing was to insist that your boy have a doll to play with instead of trucks. I never did that but my “progressive” friends did. As I have said before, Mother Nature does not want men to become extinct..She will act sooner or later.
I recently learned that “shop” was changed at our public schools so that no “dangerous” tools were allowed because of the “risks” associated with screwdrivers, hammers, nails, etc. They use foam, cardboard, etc. The schools have become prisons and very little else, let’s face it, folks! Weapons detectors at the doors, bars on the windows, no doors on the bathroom stalls, and no tools in shop class!! Next it will be no shoelaces.....
Nice quote. I’m stealing it. I hope and pray that a lot of American boys are looking at what liberals are doing to our country.
If everyone’s a victim, does that mean nobody is, so we can all get back to taking responsibility for our own lives?
Thank u for posting that reply. I saw the same Hannity show and i wanted to bitch-slap some sense into him. Hannity made him look like a fool. Loved it!!
I’ll second your step-by-step plan. After a line of duty injury in the Army I went through VA’s vocational rehabilitation for 3 years. I set a career goal and with pencil and paper wrote down the 40-some odd steps it would take to get there. I went step-by-step, never letting more than two weeks go between each step. It worked. Now, I’m in that career, in a pinnacle position. It’s time for another, more ambitious list.
Step-by-step plans work great to those with self-discipline and determination. But are these traits being taught any more or even valued in popular culture? No, they are not.
Here’s my experience with trucks vs. dolls. When my son and daughter were less than two, and only had gender neutral “baby toys” their reactions were vastly different when we’d go through the boy and girl toy aisles. How it can be confused as anything but natural is beyond me. It is likely just sick or even sinister to impose opposite gender values and roles upon children.
I would love to teach but, as a man, I’m terrified to death of false accusations if I run the class how it should be run.
I knew a professor that was accused of harassment. Of course, it was by the only two women who failed his class.
So many teachers and professors today just give an easy A to avoid the drama and retaliation.
Isn’t scarcasm the distance between your scars? ...or is it when biting wit actually leaves marks?
John Steinbeck
That is so simple and so perfectly true.
Gloria Steinem’s dream has become reality. And a nightmare for the rest of us.
I am a female artist who discovered that the best day job was to supply something to all the other artists. It can be a product or a support service. Everyone in these fields is waiting to become a star. Meanwhile, they spend the money earned in their real-world jobs on the tools and accessories of their chosen dream field.
My experience of nearly 70 years: you need a comfortable financial cushion to survive in any of the arts. You can marry it, inherit it or earn it outside of the creative areas, but it is essential. After that, you need a group of people who also have that sort of financial security who believe in you and are willing to pay for your work. This is assuming you already have both the talent and the discipline to create something of value to others.
Cover all that, find or make the time necessary to create and actually do it. Learn how to legitimately market yourself. Toughen up to the inevitable rejections and don’t let the successes go to your head. You need to find satisfaction in the process because the achievements come and go.
Contrary to popular belief, the arts are not for the faint of heart. I disagree that it is a matter of flailing about in the dark. Learn your craft and learn it well. Part of that craft is marketing and your work product is something apart from yourself. Practice and practice and practice some more. Love your process and do not fall in love with your results. Study the success and the failures in your field. They will teach you a lot. There are steps to take and absolutely nothing happens by accident. Yes, luck or serendipity can be operative, but you need to be prepared when that moment strikes by having the work product, the work habits and the reputation that would compel someone to take that chance on you.
You are still quite young. You can do it, but it is hard work, it takes a lot of time and you need to figure out how to survive while creating and how to survive between the successes. Talent is walking the streets, which doesn’t meant you need to resort to street walking to succeed. Every music star has a band and other back up in their act. Not everyone writes their own material. Working professionals need costumes and instruments. They need light, sound, technical production, art work, photography, booking, sales, managing, marketing, professional physical presentation assistance (hair/makeup) and gofers. Physical artists need supplies, tools and presentation services (matting/framing/displays). Crafters often need to subcontract parts of their process: (dyeing, spinning, finishing, casting). Everyone needs a venue in which to perform or sell, or exhibit. Work for those who provide these needs and you will work steadily while perfecting your own product. You will also have access to supplies and services that you yourself will need, often at cost. You will learn the business from the inside.
It is not art; it is craft and it is inventory and inventory must be manufactured. Not everyone makes it. There is nothing wrong with finding a productive endeavor that is not your dream and using your spare time to practice your creativity.
Excellent point. With the proviso that becoming a writer/songwriter/etc. everyone knows you have to express a few leftist sentiments.
That’s a very common refrain from the TV. Other than sports TV exists to serve the female audience. And the message in show after show is that white males are responsible for all that is bad and are idiots, gays & minorities are smart & cool. Still people keep paying for their channels....
Could this be a contributing factor to the downfall of the male?
“I would love to teach but, as a man, I’m terrified to death of false accusations if I run the class how it should be run.’
It’s an occupational hazard, along with lawsuits, getting canned for not signing the right form at the right time, and one day having someone who failed your class walk up and scream ‘You ruined my life!’ and attempt to mow you down. That said, go for it. The world needs right-wing teachers.
You said it, Aria, excellent!
Raising babies to become...babies...
your post brought back memories...
The Marlboro MAN...
From DouglasWolf.com
He has written a book showing how the American Empire, like so many others, is coming to an end and part of the transition from success to stagnant to failure is the feminization of a country and the entitlement mentality that comes with it. This is an exerpt from his site but there is an entire book out there detailing the process - which he thinks is unavoidable.
The demise of guys points to a feminization of the American Empire
August 12th, 2011 A benchmark of a declining empire is the shift away from manly virtues and toward more effeminate ones. An example that anyone with children can relate to is how fighting is handled in schools. It used to be the case that the teacher who broke up the fight would immediately ask; Who started the fight?… and the punishment would be upon the aggressor. Today, school policies are in place that demand that each participant is equally guilty! So, the ages old idea of the right of self-defense has been overturned by a conspiracy of ignorant know-it-all psychologists, child development specialists and the pressure from over-protective mothers.
>>“A boy becomes a man when a man is needed.”
>>John Steinbeck
>
>The need has never been stronger than now. Trying to “man up” in response to selfish needs won’t work out . . .
I’ll also submit that the need is covered up by society, and especially media, to the extent that exhibiting manliness (e.g. logical thinking) in respect to a feminized aspect of society is futile. Take the law for instance, I’ve a big problem with how Constitutions are ignored on the State and Federal levels. Taking one issue as an example, a state statute prohibiting firearms in “county courthouses” (where “county courthouse” includes the capitol building ans other state-buildings) when the State’s Constitution says: The right of the citizens to bear arms in defense of themselves and the state shall not be denied. — You may disagree, but the wording is plain. Furthermore, the system can demand a citizen’s presence, even without any accusation of wrongdoing, under penalty of law: that is, jury duty. — The legal-system has basically told me that the only way to challenge the statute is to attach it onto a case violating it, that is to sat that I *MUST* fight it from a weak position, one where I am already acknowledging its validity.
And so it is for many things, being ‘manly’ is only allowed when convenient; when not, “SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND DO AS YOU’RE TOLD.”
At least, that’s how I perceive things.
Agree. 60 years ago I formed the opinion that you can't understand self-discipline until you've been disciplined. Never felt the need to change that insight.
It starts immediately after birth, boy or girl. When that baby finds out that he/she is not going to train the parent to feed him/her on demand, the training starts. When the child keeps on learning that you are the parent and it is the child, and a predetermined standard of behavior is permanently in place, the plan of training can continue.
This is done in the home, whether done at school or not. The child who learns proper response to authority can learn to grow into independence and self-disciplined maturity.
But if the child "learns" from day one, literally, that he/she is going to be the manipulator, the whole game is over, and the parents have lost. The family now has a little self-created willful despot.
Perhaps that will can eventually be broken, maybe by putting it though Marine boot camp or something determinedly like it. If not -- a BCD. Note that it takes a just as much of self-will to become a non-compliant ne'er-do-well as to be an oppositionally defiant dictator. Both are so selfish that neither can adapt to the give-and-take of satisfactory relationships.
/IMHO from years of observation.
(Lots of other helpful observations in these other comments)
Maybe, just maybe, the reason why women are attracted to teenaged boys is because the adult men have lost their masculinity.
I suspect another reason. This society cannot produce naturally-masculine teenage boys after all if the elder males are not themselves masculine.
Oh yes, the purportedly African saying that the socialists and communists all love, due to being anti-family.
More likely that real men are not looking for another mommy, and real women don’t look for manipulatable teenager boys who do. That’s a fact.
More likely that real men are not looking for another mommy, and real women don’t look for manipulatable teenager boys who do. That’s a fact.
Also remember reading about this older hollywood couple that admitted they wrote their(60's 70's TV/movie) story lines to(paraphrase)...."shove it up the azz of conservatives and traditionalists".
Mass-media outlets found out early on they could use their powers of persuasion initially to just sell products to a willing mass audience(sometimes known as, "suckers"), so why not use it for social engineering...with the right kind of deceptive coercion...sort of, Saul Alinsky meets P.T. Barnum, public policy/perception can be molded like play-doh.
Bottom-line, it is about "the bottom-line...$$$"...don't like what you are seeing in the(so-called)entertainment world, then show your disgust by dumping your cable/satellite TV, boycott everything hollywood/mass-media...basically, starve the beast of the resources it needs/uses to "indoctrinate".
At our middle school, all the kids take shop, boys and girls. My daughter ended up liking it and wants dibs on Grandpa’s band-saw and other tools some day.
She said the teacher was like a ninja who would appear out of nowhere as they were about to amputate some fingers and order, “Don’t do that,” and correct them.
However, the middle school’s beautiful kitchen and sewing room go unused because budget cuts meant the retiring home ec teacher was not replaced.
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