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Question about Secrets on Third Grade Test Defended
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 May 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/12/2012 4:30:50 PM PDT by John Semmens

New Jersey third-grade public school students were asked to disclose a secret about their lives and discuss why it’s hard to keep. Parents who raised objections over what possible relevance such a question could have for assessing a child’s academic progress were said to be “overreacting” by school authorities.

“First of all, the answers to this question aren’t graded, per se,” explained Elinor Schnoop, spokesperson for the New Jersey Department of Education. “A student can’t fail the test no matter what answer he or she gives. That’s not the purpose for asking this question.”

The purpose is apparently “more socially oriented.” “Let’s say the secret is that the child is being abused at home,” Schnoop said. “Wouldn’t that be important information for the school to know? Or what if the student is gay or masturbates? The school could take steps to reassure the student that this is perfectly normal.”

Safety was another rationale offered. “What if the secret is that the parents have a gun in the home?” the Schnoop asked. “What if the parents have deviant political views, belong to a militia, or are anti-immigrant? Teasing this kind of information out of students could help promote national security.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2012/05/12/president-admits-he-sometimes-forgets-the-magnitude-of-the-recession/


TOPICS: Education; Government; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: children; privacy; satire; security

1 posted on 05/12/2012 4:31:03 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Funny....there is nothing real about the world of leftist academia anyway. Should be a good source of satire material.


2 posted on 05/12/2012 4:33:52 PM PDT by EagleUSA
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To: John Semmens

for anyone who didn’t get the subtext of the news, there is seminews to explain it!

This is where the real agenda is exposed, with a tasty candy coating.


3 posted on 05/12/2012 4:35:05 PM PDT by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: John Semmens

Satire is sometimes more precise and biting than reality. Nice write, JS.


4 posted on 05/12/2012 4:35:25 PM PDT by carriage_hill (((.)))
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To: John Semmens

Gestapo tactics with a velvet glove.

Rats want to cultivate little rats.

how about the educators exposing their own secrets to the general public?

Drop Dead, mf’ers


5 posted on 05/12/2012 4:36:46 PM PDT by Surrounded_too
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To: John Semmens

If you could read their intentions, this is far from satire...great job again, Sir John!


6 posted on 05/12/2012 4:37:46 PM PDT by jennings2004 (President Hayes, Mount Rushmore, telephone, Dear Leader...what a mix!)
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To: John Semmens

I love the name they gave the interviewee, Miss Schnoop. Perfect satire.


7 posted on 05/12/2012 4:44:02 PM PDT by kitkat (Obama, ROPE and CHAINS.)
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To: John Semmens

Damnity! U almost got me.

“Per, se yoos a lieyuh”


8 posted on 05/12/2012 4:49:06 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: John Semmens

“What if the parents have deviant political views...

“What if they were, “gasp”...conservatives!!”


9 posted on 05/12/2012 5:19:12 PM PDT by Newtoidaho (Fight organized crime. Vote out all incumbent Democrats!)
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To: John Semmens
Hey why not put cameras in the teachers homes? That way we could watch and make sure they aren't doing anything wrong.

I bet the teachers would have no problem with that./s

10 posted on 05/12/2012 7:36:31 PM PDT by guitarplayer1953 (Grammar & spelling maybe wrong, get over it, the world will not come to an end!)
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To: John Semmens
D@mn, John! I read it all the way through and didn't see any satire. I was all ready to fall hook, line, and sinker and make an outraged comment!

Thank goodness I glanced up and saw your byline before making a fool of myself!

You're scary, dude. :)

11 posted on 05/12/2012 7:39:54 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: John Semmens

“Mommy and Daddy have guns and a yellow flag with a snake on it”.


12 posted on 05/12/2012 7:39:59 PM PDT by Rebelbase
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