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Obama Rewrites History
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 May 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/18/2012 10:47:50 PM PDT by John Semmens

Visitors to the White House website were treated to major revisions in the biographies of the Presidents. Some highlights of these revisions included:

George Washington, in an effort to create a nation that could later be ruled by Barack Obama persevered through many hardships and overcame long odds to defeat the powerful British Army and establish the United States of America in 1781.

Abraham Lincoln, anticipating the need for Barack Obama to rescue the nation from the despair of eight years of George W. Bush, issued the emancipation proclamation in 1862 declaring Blacks residing in areas outside of the control of Union armies were henceforth free. This made Obama, whose ancestors resided in Kenya at that time, eligible to become President of the United States 146 years later.

Dwight Eisenhower, realizing that there would be no opportunity for Barack Obama to become president 65 years later if the Nazis won World War II led a successful attack against the Germans in Normandy in 1944.

Ronald Reagan, foreseeing the need for massive amounts of money that could be redistributed by Barack Obama to promote social justice, used tax cuts to spark a wave of economic growth that created thousands of new millionaires.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/111975-2012-05-18-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-may-20-2012.htm


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: 2012election; blogpimp; egotist; election2012; kenyanbornmuzzie; mittromney; narcissist; obama; satire

1 posted on 05/18/2012 10:47:54 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 05/18/2012 10:49:53 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
Evening/morning, John.

"As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

--H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920


3 posted on 05/18/2012 10:53:20 PM PDT by Viking2002 ("Always with the negative waves, Moriarty, always with the negative waves!" - Sgt. Oddball)
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To: John Semmens

This admin and libs are parodies of themselves these days, I guess its makes your job easier.


4 posted on 05/18/2012 10:54:51 PM PDT by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: John Semmens

I would think that it is becoming more and more difficult to write satire about this bunch of clowns!


5 posted on 05/18/2012 10:57:40 PM PDT by houeto (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: John Semmens

(8^D)


6 posted on 05/18/2012 11:34:55 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: houeto

I would think that it is becoming more and more difficult to write satire about this bunch of clowns!


That’s for sure. I don’t want to think what another four years would bring.


7 posted on 05/18/2012 11:36:50 PM PDT by unkus (Silence Is Consent)
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To: John Semmens

John, don’t forget the Rough Riders and the Bay of Pigs. Obama’s very existence was deeply touched by these events that eventually evolved him into the magic we have today. :^)


8 posted on 05/18/2012 11:56:37 PM PDT by eyedigress ((zOld storm chaser from the west)/?)
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To: John Semmens

LOL, John. These assclowns are such good fodder for your material, I have to read it 2x to see the line between their twisted reality and your fine hand at satire. Nice job!


9 posted on 05/19/2012 3:34:16 AM PDT by carriage_hill (All liberals & most demoncraps think that life is just a sponge bath, with a happy ending.)
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To: houeto
I agree, it's difficult to distort their truth when the truth told
by "those people" is purposely distorted.
10 posted on 05/19/2012 4:33:20 AM PDT by MaxMax
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To: John Semmens

Since there are whole generations who were never taught the history of this country, I’ll bet many of them would think this is all true.

Thanks again, John, for the ping.


11 posted on 05/19/2012 4:44:08 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

... and the Wright brothers invented the airplane so BHO Sr. could fly to Hawaii and impregnate Stanley Ann ...


12 posted on 05/19/2012 5:20:09 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: John Semmens
i'm only surprised he didn't do those
13 posted on 05/19/2012 5:27:52 AM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: John Semmens; Lazamataz

14 posted on 05/19/2012 5:28:24 AM PDT by Travis McGee (www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: smokingfrog; John Semmens
LOL
15 posted on 05/19/2012 5:31:16 AM PDT by moose07 (The truth will out, one day.)
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To: John Semmens
Plagiarism!

You lifted this straight from the WH.

16 posted on 05/19/2012 6:40:03 AM PDT by rawcatslyentist ("Behold, I am against you, O arrogant one," Jeremiah 50:31)
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To: Travis McGee

The worst part is how they added “Chicago” to the places where he was “raised.”


17 posted on 05/19/2012 6:42:34 AM PDT by AuH2ORepublican (If a politician won't protect innocent babies, what makes you think that he'll protect your rights?)
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To: AuH2ORepublican

It all reads like a Marxist/racialist version of “Rosemary’s Baby,” with Bill Ayers and his ilk officiating at the black mass, producing Half-Black Lucifer-Lenin. Remember, Ayers old Weather Underground days book was dedicated to satan, was it not?


18 posted on 05/19/2012 7:18:27 AM PDT by Travis McGee (www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: John Semmens

:) Good one John. Love it.


19 posted on 05/19/2012 7:21:04 AM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: Travis McGee
Remember, Ayers old Weather Underground days book was dedicated to satan, was it not?

Are you thinking of Saul Alinski's "Rules for Radicals"?

It's on the page following the "To Irene" page.

20 posted on 05/19/2012 7:27:19 AM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: eyedigress

I forgot all about the Rough Riders at the Bay of Pigs,
wasn’t that where Barak Obama learned the healing
properties of Rum and Coca cola?

I’m sorry John, reality has outstripped your usual
biting satire.


21 posted on 05/19/2012 7:32:15 AM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: rockinqsranch

LOL!

But it’s personal too, John: Each one of us performed vast amounts of good deeds over countless eons just to create the miraculous karma to be born in the time and place of Obama’s beneficent rule. We are truly blessed.


22 posted on 05/19/2012 7:37:22 AM PDT by dagogo redux (A whiff of primitive spirits in the air, harbingers of an impending descent into the feral.)
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To: John Semmens

LOL, I never knew how great Washington, Lincoln, Eisenhower, and Reagan were till now, thanks John!


23 posted on 05/19/2012 8:02:19 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it and the law is what WE say it is.)
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To: dagogo redux

>But it’s personal too, John: Each one of us performed vast amounts of good deeds over countless eons just to create the miraculous karma to be born in the time and place of Obama’s beneficent rule. We are truly blessed.

Don’t you mean “we are the ones we have been waiting for”?


24 posted on 05/19/2012 8:05:52 AM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: John Semmens

Not satire. Chairman BHO probably truly believes this about history and himself.


25 posted on 05/19/2012 8:25:05 AM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: Travis McGee

Do we have any proof that he worked for Business International Corporation as noted in his literary biography?


26 posted on 05/19/2012 8:35:51 AM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: DuncanWaring; Travis McGee

I don’t see it...?

I’ve seen it before and it’s something like this:

“To Lucifer, the original rebel.”


27 posted on 05/19/2012 9:59:29 AM PDT by little jeremiah
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To: little jeremiah; Travis McGee
I just looked again and since my original post, they have somehow magically dropped that page from the list of "Preview" pages they display. That page has been replaced by a note reading "Some pages are omitted from this book review", immediately prior to the "Contents" page.

The text, copied from the "Rules for Radicals" Wikipedia page, reads

"Lest we forget at least an over-the-shoulder acknowledgment to the very first radical: from all our legends, mythology, and history (and who is to know where mythology leaves off and history begins -- or which is which), the first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom -- Lucifer. "

28 posted on 05/19/2012 10:09:35 AM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: DuncanWaring

Thank you! Funny they don’t want people to see that..///sarc.


29 posted on 05/19/2012 10:22:08 AM PDT by little jeremiah
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To: Travis McGee

I thought it was Alinsky who dedicated his book to Lucifer. But maybe Ayers did as well, I don’t know.


30 posted on 05/19/2012 11:02:06 AM PDT by AuH2ORepublican (If a politician won't protect innocent babies, what makes you think that he'll protect your rights?)
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To: John Semmens
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/111975-2012-05-18-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-may-20-2012.htm

And there, John ...............................................................FRegards

31 posted on 05/19/2012 11:37:22 AM PDT by gonzo ( Buy more ammo, dammit! You should already have the firearms ... FRegards)
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To: John Semmens

/S


32 posted on 05/19/2012 12:26:39 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: little jeremiah

I just checked again, and it’s back again.


33 posted on 05/19/2012 12:33:45 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: DuncanWaring

That’s odd. Some conservatives working for Amazon? Will wonders never cease?


34 posted on 05/19/2012 12:45:27 PM PDT by little jeremiah
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To: little jeremiah

There’s probably just some algorithm that randomly cycles pages into and out of the “preview set”.

I wouldn’t attribute any particularly nefarious motives to this phenomenon.

Yet. ;-)


35 posted on 05/19/2012 12:48:03 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: DuncanWaring

I can’t take off my nefarious glasses. Like some people have rosy colored glasses...


36 posted on 05/19/2012 12:56:56 PM PDT by little jeremiah
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To: Travis McGee

Saul Alinsky dedicated his book, Rules for Radicals, to Satan. Of course, Ayers is the intellectual spawn of Alinsky and thus the spawn of Satan.


37 posted on 05/19/2012 1:31:32 PM PDT by WashingtonSource
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To: John Semmens

I wondered when you would tackle this subject!


38 posted on 05/19/2012 8:54:03 PM PDT by jcsjcm (This country was built on exceptionalism and individualism. In God we Trust - Laus Deo)
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To: John Semmens

Uh, isn’t what Obama had done called “HACKING” into, and altering FEDERAL Documents?


39 posted on 05/19/2012 9:19:07 PM PDT by Graewoulf ((Dictator Baby-Doc Barack's obama"care" violates Sherman Anti-Trust Law, AND U.S. Constitution.))
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To: John Semmens
“This deficit stuff, what's that all about?” Geithner wondered. “How can the government be short of money? I've been to the mint and it seems we can print as much as we need. If there's a capacity problem with the presses couldn't we just switch over from ones to hundreds?”

Totally-funny, semi-true/scary.

Another fine column John.

.

40 posted on 05/19/2012 10:53:55 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: houeto

I haven’t been on for a long time, but your comment ROFL...


41 posted on 06/13/2012 5:10:12 PM PDT by Kackikat
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