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Press Secretary Parries Questions on “Fast & Furious” Scandal
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 jUNE 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/22/2012 9:53:18 PM PDT by John Semmens

Press Secretary Jay Carney denied that President Obama's grant of “Executive Privilege” status to the Department of Justice correspondence on the scheme to get guns into the hands of Mexican gangsters is an effort to cover up wrong doing. Despite the widespread laughter from members of the media that greeted his assertion that “it's a matter of principle,” Carney attempted to expound upon the concept.

“The principle is that under our Constitution, the President is the country's supreme ruler,” Carney maintained. “That status cannot be infringed by Congressional interference in how he chooses to run the country. The sole purpose of the GOP demand to see the DOJ memos is to obtain information they can use to denigrate the policies and decisions made by the Administration.”

“The Constitution says nothing about Congress having the right to read the Executive's mail,” Carney continued. “In fact, first on the list of Congress' responsibilities is the power to enact taxes. Yet, it is the GOP contingent that steadfastly refuses to take up this responsibility. So, I'd say that instead of trying to poke their noses into what is none of their business maybe Congress ought to stop neglecting its own duties.”

Carney also rejected comparison's to former President Nixon's invocation of Executive Privilege in his attempt to block scrutiny of his Administration's efforts to cover up the Watergate scandal. “First of all, the two issues are not even in the same ballpark,” Carney argued. “The Watergate break-in was a GOP operation aimed at influencing the outcome of the 1972 presidential election. It was a dagger to the heart of our democracy.”

“Fast and Furious was a minor affair carried out far from the centers of power,” Carney said. “Ninety-nine percent of the impact occurred in another country. None of the victims were essential players in the governance of the country. The fact that we can't remember any of their names is a testament to the relative unimportance of this whole issue compared to the machinations that cheated Senator McGovern out of the presidency.”

In related news, NBC News' Thomas Roberts ruled that the Congressional Committee on Oversight and Government Reform was not entitled to the DOJ documents that Attorney General Eric Holder refused to supply. “You're not the government,” Roberts told Committee member Representative John Mica (R-Fla). “President Obama is the government. If he says you can't have something, you can't have it.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/113800-2012-06-22-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-june-24-2012.htm


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Government; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: doj; fastandfurious; obama; satire
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1 posted on 06/22/2012 9:53:35 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 06/22/2012 9:55:09 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Many a true word spoken in jest.


3 posted on 06/22/2012 9:59:04 PM PDT by spokeshave (The only people better off today than 4 years ago are the Prisoners at Guantanamo.)
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To: John Semmens

I could actually picture him saying that....

:0)


4 posted on 06/22/2012 10:16:27 PM PDT by Bigh4u2 (Denial is the first requirement to be a liberal)
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To: John Semmens

Jay Carney is looking like death-warmed-over lately. It’s got to be hard to be the hired liar when you know what you’re saying is so wrong and people have died because of it. Not that I feel sorry for him, he chooses to lie and it’s taking it’s toll on him. Sometimes it seems like he can’t even keep up with all the lies, like a little kid that keeps lying to cover up all the lies you’ve said before. The house of cards will fall.


5 posted on 06/22/2012 10:18:12 PM PDT by MacMattico
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To: John Semmens

OK, it’s a satire.

When Hitler was campaigning for election through the beer halls he finished up one of his deranged outbursts that had worked so well for him on the stump already, and for once was taken off guard by a drinker who asked him,

“Did someone s**t in your brain and forget to flush?”

Sounds like a question needing to asked of Carney, either in another satire or better yet, for real the next time he tries to put a happy face on his bosses doings.


6 posted on 06/22/2012 10:24:35 PM PDT by To-Whose-Benefit? (It is Error alone which needs the support of Government. The Truth can stand by itself.)
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To: John Semmens

Poor Thomas

I had to check to see if he would really say something that stupid.

http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV/2012/06/20/NBC-News-to-GOP-Rep-Youre-Not-Entitled-To-Those-Documents


7 posted on 06/22/2012 10:38:43 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: John Semmens

I knew it was satire as soon as I read:

“the widespread laughter from members of the media”

Every media member except one at the Carney F&F pressers has sat there looking like someone just crapped in their oatmeal. They wouldn’t crack a smile if Redd Foxx’s ghost stepped up to the mic.


8 posted on 06/22/2012 10:41:12 PM PDT by Boogieman
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To: John Semmens

You know it’s satire when it sounds like the administration is telling the truth.


9 posted on 06/22/2012 10:41:54 PM PDT by antiRepublicrat
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To: John Semmens

>> “President Obama’s grant of “Executive Privilege” status to the Department of Justice correspondence on the scheme to get guns into the hands of Mexican gangsters” ... is an effort to...

Love your stuff, John, but had to read that more than once...


10 posted on 06/22/2012 11:15:36 PM PDT by Gene Eric (Your Hope has been redistributed. Here's your damn Change!)
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To: John Semmens

Carney then went on to guess the weight and age of the attending press members.


11 posted on 06/22/2012 11:55:09 PM PDT by rawcatslyentist ("Behold, I am against you, O arrogant one," Jeremiah 50:31)
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To: MacMattico; John Semmens
"Jay Carney is looking like death-warmed-over lately."

So I'm not the only one who noticed that. I'm not sure if he's looking haggard over a guilty conscience or if it's the look of someone who's very, very worried that the jig could be up. Maybe he recently took part in a "We must all hang together or surely we shall all hang separately" group session with Jarrett as keynote speaker.

Thanks, John.

12 posted on 06/23/2012 3:38:39 AM PDT by Flotsam_Jetsome (If not you, who? If not now, when?)
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To: John Semmens

Its still being sold as a bipartisan squabble and the houses refusal to stop making this a campaign issue. 2 dead at the hands of the fraud and chief move on nothing to see here


13 posted on 06/23/2012 3:53:13 AM PDT by ronnie raygun (B B)
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To: John Semmens

Uuuuhhhh, “...denigrate...” You may be in real trouble now...:))


14 posted on 06/23/2012 3:57:11 AM PDT by jennings2004 (President Hayes, Mount Rushmore, telephone, Dear Leader...what a mix!)
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To: John Semmens
Carney said. “Ninety-nine percent of the impact occurred in another country. None of the victims were essential players in the governance of the country. The fact that we can't remember any of their names is a testament to the relative unimportance of this whole issue compared to the machinations that cheated Senator McGovern out of the presidency.”
So it's ok for the US government to engage in actions that promote murders of Americans and Mexicans, as long as the victims aren't well known. Is that a new legal precedent we're hearing here?

As for Watergate, it wasn't about "cheating McGovern", it was about retrieving suspected embarrassing material supposedly in the hands of the DNC. The material didn't even exist and rumors of its existence were planted by DNC operatives in the feeble minds of some of Nixon's cohorts, including his brother. The suspected embarrassing subject matter had to do with Richard Nixon’s dealings with Howard Hughes, dealings that John Meier persuaded Donald Nixon were documented in the files of Larry O'Brien.

It was a stupid breakin, perpetrated by stupid men, following a false lead regarding non-existent information. Non-existent irrelevant information. Nixon would still have beat McGovern if the supposed "information" that Larry O'Brien didn't even have had ever "come out".

And anyway, what was the Watergate body count?

What is the Fast and Furious body count?

15 posted on 06/23/2012 4:06:33 AM PDT by samtheman (http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/21/obamas-socialist-designs/)
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To: John Semmens

Ok. I’m stupid. Didn’t see the semi-satire tag.

You got me.

Egg on my face.

Stupid me.

Smart you.

I’ll be more careful next time. I promise.


16 posted on 06/23/2012 4:10:07 AM PDT by samtheman (http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/21/obamas-socialist-designs/)
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To: John Semmens
“The principle is that under our Constitution, the President is the country's supreme ruler,”

“Supreme ruler”? He can’t possibly be talking about the Constitution of the United States!

17 posted on 06/23/2012 4:53:57 AM PDT by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink)
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To: John Semmens

Oh – satire.


18 posted on 06/23/2012 4:57:00 AM PDT by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink)
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To: smokingfrog
I had to check to see if he would really say something that stupid.

I had to check also, and yes, he really did say something that stupid. Amazing.

19 posted on 06/23/2012 5:15:02 AM PDT by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the People's Republic of Boulder)
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To: John Semmens
I didn't realize this was satire either until I re-read the early line "“The principle is that under our Constitution, the President is the country's supreme ruler...

It wasn't that Carney would not slip and actually say that, it was the fact that it wasn't blasted all over this thread. I thought, "Wait a minute...someone had to catch that Choombama was coming out and announcing himself the supreme ruler of this country".

20 posted on 06/23/2012 5:25:26 AM PDT by IrishPennant (Are you behind a "Blade of Grass?")
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