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DUmmie FUnnies 06-23-12 (DUmmie Preppers get ready for Rmoney's Rethuglican Rule)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 23, 2012 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 06/23/2012 12:36:12 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

The DUmmie Underground Resistance Fighters (DURF) are hunkered down in their Perfect Rovian Storm Cellars. The walls are lined with canned goods and powdered instant foods. Cartons of triage milk and jugs of distilled water are stacked on the floor. The Resistance Fighters, their faces full of concern and working-class nobility, are huddled in groups around their shortwave radios. A man is trying to pick up the signal. A woman is holding her crying baby. "Any word, Will?" "No, Nadin, I can't raise them."

Meanwhile, overhead, bands of young men in shortsleeved white shirts and neckties are going from house to house, confiscating coffee and looking for Progs to take to the Bain Reeducation Camps.

And a tumbleweed blows across the dusty prairie.

Welcome to Mitt Romney's America.

Such are the fears of the DUmmies. It's Bush and Camp Rummy all over again, only this time it's Bain and Camp Romney. The Koch Brothers replace Darth Cheney as the bête noire DU jour. Rove is probably still involved, sending out mind-control rays. But it's the same old sh*t looming on the horizon. What to do if Obama LOSES and Romney WINS? It's looking more and more like that could happen. What's a DUmmie to do?

And so the DUmmie Preppers are getting ready for Rmoney's Rethuglican Rule. ("Rmoney" is the preferred spelling over there.) Preparations are being made, plans are being laid, as we see here in this THREAD, "If you knew Romney was going to win, how would you prepare?"

So let us now enter the dystopian nightmare world of the DUmmies and find out the plans of the DUmmie Preppers, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, himself hoarding and hiding his stores of coffee, is in the [brackets]:

If you knew Romney was going to win, how would you prepare?

[Well, Michelle Obama is loading up on her frequent flyer miles, to use on future vacations.]

I'm talking serious steps to protect yourself and your family from the ensuing financial buttf***ing. . . .

[benburch is loading up on KY Jelly.]

What would you do to insulate yourself as best you could?

[ben doesn't believe in insulation.]

And I'm assuming that we're not talking about building a bunker in the woods. . . .

[No way! Nadin Brzezinski's bunker is right there in her back yard. And when Will Pitt disappears into the woods, it's to Mother Raven's cabin. Bobo the Hobo will just stay in the back of her Buick.]

wish I could leave the country.

[Wish harder. Try the first two stars you see tonight. Throw four coins in the fountain.]

Cyanide capsules. . . .

[Cyanara!]

Stock up on abortions. . . .

[Get 'em while they last!]

So I guess I'll be certain to use contraceptiv...d'oh!

[Sandra Fluke checks in.]

Stockpile a lot of liquor.

[PJ can get you coupons. Do you like rum?]

I'd Get Plenty Of Preparation H. . . .

[I'm anticipating lots of Humorrhoids from the DUmmies this fall!]

I'm getting too old for this sh*t.

[Nonsense! You're never too old!]

pay down debt.

["Pay down debt." Feel the irony.]

Start looking for an exit plan. Romney administration would be the nail that closed the coffin on the US.

[Mitt Romney: Empire Ender.]

I don't think it would be the end of the world . . .

[IT WOULD BE THE END OF THE UNIVERSE!!!]

I know there are lots of doom and gloomers running around saying we might as well commit hari-kari if Romney won. . . .

[I think you should commit hokey-pokey and put your whole self out.]

if we can survive a Bush the idiot son. . . .

["Survive"? "SURVIVE"?? You think we SURVIVED the Bush Regime?? Think of all our fellow Americans who were disappeared into Walmart detention centers and never heard from again! Think of-- Wait, that didn't happen, did it? Hmm. . . .]

It's a different world. Now the Repukes don't care anymore about PC or doing what's right. They would undo all the good Obama done immediately. . . . And they would make sure no Democrat ever gets a chance to be on the ballot. Especially if the Repukes hold the majority in the house, and take a lead in the Senate. And then there's the Supreme Court. A life sentence for all of us.

[Just. Give. Up. Now.]

Hope the Mayan calendar is true.

[You're foreseen, you're beautiful, and you're Mayan. . . .]

I'm torn. My wife is a Canadian . . . and I'm making sure her passport and our marriage license are both in good order.

[Don't be torn! Be Torontan!]

Make plans to move to Canada. You won't regret it. With global warming you'll hardly ever notice the winters!

[Good to know, when you're standing in line outside for five hours, waiting to make a doctor's appointment.]

Nothing. Haven't really done much of anything during any other administration. Haven't really done much worse or better under any of them. I will survive.

[The DUde abides. In his mother's basement.]

Get some guns and stock pile ammo. . . .

[Is that you, Eric Holder?]

along with items that are easily tradeable. . . . If people don't have money they will have stuff to trade.

[You need to see the South Florida Barter King. Do you need 500 B.O. sticks?]

Stock up on food too, basic food, that stores for a long time. A bag of dried beans goes a very long way. . . .

[And yummy peppers for DUmmie Preppers.]

Buy stock in DU. . . .

[Hee! Hee!]

Buy gold. . . .

[COMEDY gold, from the DUmmie FUnnies!]

and stock in Koch Industries.

[In Koch we stock.]

My husband says he will move us to England. . . .

[Thus improving the intelligence of both countries.]

Stay Drunk.

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

I'd order a large The Works pizza, a Greek salad, and a bottle of Chianti from my local shop to be delivered.

[The aptly named DUmmie slackmaster tells us his plan. Sounds good, slackmaster. Can we come over and join you, if you promise not to talk?]

I'm going to see if I can get a copyright on "sh*t", "god d*mmit", "yougottabesh*ttinme" and "WTF".

[DUmmie russspeakeasy, if you had a nickel for every time those words are used in DUmmieland, you'd be a rich man. And then we'd have to tax you . . . or eat you . . . or something.]

Open a granny panty factory in China. Hooray for me!!!

[Hunanny Pants®. Brilliant!]

the same way we've had to respond to 2001-08 and 2009-12/16: Occupy

[That's worked great, hasn't it? Get Ted and Misty and Thistle on the phone and tell them to start writing poems. I'll get a drum circle going.]

I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that. I'll be voting to re-elect the Pres.

Me, too.

[There's TWO! Hey, it's a start.]

Stock up on caffeine, beer, and anything else the Mormon in Chief might outlaw. The Fun Police might be going crazy, rapping people on their knuckles with rulers if he steals this election.

[You mean Michelle "Eat your peas!" Obama might be staying on as head of the Fun Police?]

The Fun Police are too busy in New York fretting over how much soda we drink.

[DUmmie Bellerophon with the comeback in a Bloomberg Minute! DUmmie Bellerophon, you win today's Kewpie Doll for recognizing who the real Nanny Staters are. Although, with only 27 posts . . . you could be . . . Naah!]

Finalize my theory on string theory and time travel. Then step into the quantum accelerator...and vanish.

[Sounds like a plan!]

Build a nuclear bunker. . . .

[Contact Nadin Brzezinski for how to avoid another Fukushima.]

December 21, 2012. If Romney wins hopefully that will be the last day of the world. But, then again, who knows, Romney winning may be what the Mayans meant by end of the world.

[December 21, 2012, a date which will live in-- Well, no, I guess that would be it. OK then.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; preppers; rmoney; romney
I would like to see a reality show called "DUmmie Preppers." Know-it-all Nadin Brzezinski could be in charge of the tribe. PJ-Comix, the Coupon Whisperer and South Florida Barter King, could come in and give them helpful tips. It's a ratings winner!
1 posted on 06/23/2012 12:36:18 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: Charles Henrickson

First!


2 posted on 06/23/2012 12:39:30 PM PDT by Pinkbell (Woo hoo! Another moderate candidate! Thanks GOP and voters!)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


3 posted on 06/23/2012 12:40:01 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (TEOTWAWKI.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top 10!


4 posted on 06/23/2012 12:44:00 PM PDT by glasseye
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To: PJ-Comix; All
One of the photos I used for the Bain Reeducation Camp is "x"-ed out to me now (could be temporary). I'll try it again:

Here's another version:


5 posted on 06/23/2012 12:46:06 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (TEOTWAWKI.)
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To: Charles Henrickson; Kartographer

Preppers.

As if...

Here’s a laugh for you, Kart!


6 posted on 06/23/2012 12:49:15 PM PDT by Old Sarge (Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc... not just pretty words...)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’m not a Romney fan, but he is certainly better than Obama. I’d like to see him win if only to see the hysterics on DU.


7 posted on 06/23/2012 12:53:19 PM PDT by Pinkbell (Woo hoo! Another moderate candidate! Thanks GOP and voters!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
The DUmmie Underground Resistance Fighters (DURF) are hunkered down in their Perfect Rovian Storm Cellars.

Is that another term for "my apartment in mom's basement"?

8 posted on 06/23/2012 12:53:35 PM PDT by TwelveOfTwenty (With choices like Palin, Cain, and Bachmann, what could go wrong? Now we know.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Johnny Burnette appreciates the reference.
9 posted on 06/23/2012 1:00:48 PM PDT by JPG (Don't just talk about it, make it happen.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I agree about the Dummie Preppers show. Let Chrissy Matthews anchor it.


10 posted on 06/23/2012 1:01:34 PM PDT by sauropod (You can elect your very own tyranny - Mark Levin)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Forbidden

You don't have permission to access /images/mormon.arbeit.frei.jpg on this server.

Uh-oh....the DUmmies are going to get you for that ;)

11 posted on 06/23/2012 1:03:57 PM PDT by Sarajevo (Ever notice that when a beggar gets a donation, they immediately put their hand out for more.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

When the DUmmie said “Build a nuclear bunker. . . .” I’m fine with that, as long as he makes sure the door locks from the outside. :)


12 posted on 06/23/2012 1:39:21 PM PDT by Dragonspirit (Always remember President Token won only by defecting on his CFR pledge.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Jeeze...they’d go bonkers if a conservative had been the nominee.

Hyperbole anyone?


13 posted on 06/23/2012 1:42:23 PM PDT by eddie willers
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To: Charles Henrickson
Make plans to move to Canada. You won't regret it. With global warming you'll hardly ever notice the winters!

Canada would deport you. The charge: 'Impersonating a HUMAN'

Didn't the DUMMIES say if Bush won they would move out of the USA?? Dummies, Please Move... Cuba and North Korea would love you to move there.

14 posted on 06/23/2012 1:44:26 PM PDT by ExCTCitizen (If we stay home in November '12, don't blame 0 for tearing up the CONSTITUTION!!)
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To: ExCTCitizen

These idiots must think Canadians live above the arctic circle or something. Seems that I’ve read that 90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the US border.


15 posted on 06/23/2012 1:51:30 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: cripplecreek

That’s so they can make it to the hospital in time.

;-)


16 posted on 06/23/2012 1:56:12 PM PDT by workerbee (We're not scared, Maobama -- we're pissed off!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Some actually wrote “Stock up on abortions”??

Wow. Didn’t know you could order ‘em in advance!


17 posted on 06/23/2012 2:00:18 PM PDT by workerbee (We're not scared, Maobama -- we're pissed off!)
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To: Pinkbell
Get some guns and stock pile ammo. . . .

Those bitter clingers!

But seriously.... that a DUmmie posts this and gets no flack is about as ironic as it gets. I mean, their people are always telling us to rely on the "professionals" instead, and that anyone with his or her own weapon is an irresponsible citizen, etc.

It makes me dizzy sometimes trying to follow the mental contortions of America-haters.

18 posted on 06/23/2012 2:05:13 PM PDT by workerbee (We're not scared, Maobama -- we're pissed off!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Rev,

I strongly suggest we work with the DUmmies to get some liberal foundation to buy one way plane tickets, coach or steerage on Aeroflot (AKA: Errorplop,) Cubana, AirSpearchucker or some other 3d World, make that 4th World, airline and get them the hell out of CONUS.


19 posted on 06/23/2012 2:19:18 PM PDT by MindBender26 (America can survive 4 years of Romney. She cannot survive another 4 years of an unfettered Obama!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Speaking of South Florida Barter King, I now have a 100% leather licensed Miami Heat jacket available for barter. Size Large. Looking for a 1080 HD video camera.


20 posted on 06/23/2012 2:34:05 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (You're screwy! You're spaced! You lost the recall race!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Cyanide capsules. . . .

Why so "blue"?


21 posted on 06/23/2012 2:35:03 PM PDT by mikrofon ( {sighin'...})
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To: Charles Henrickson

DUmmieland is going to be FUn to watch in November. Assuming they even remain online.


22 posted on 06/23/2012 2:36:59 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (You're screwy! You're spaced! You lost the recall race!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Mark Steyn quality effort. I really laughed out loud.


23 posted on 06/23/2012 2:37:35 PM PDT by Inwoodian
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To: Charles Henrickson
I'd Get Plenty Of Preparation H

Supposition of Defeat --> Suppositories in De ____

24 posted on 06/23/2012 2:48:02 PM PDT by mikrofon (Rominey the Nominee)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that. I'll be voting to re-elect the Pres.

Me, too.

All you "survivalists" -- just remember to redirect any donations from your EOTW preparations to the Obama-Biden campaign...

25 posted on 06/23/2012 3:03:26 PM PDT by mikrofon ("This is Barry, and I approve *this* message.")
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To: Charles Henrickson

Obammy is the reason that the price of ammo has gone up 50% in his time in office.

Bullets are the new “gold standard.”


26 posted on 06/23/2012 3:28:50 PM PDT by hadaclueonce (you are paying 12% more for fuel because of Ethanol. Smile big Corn Lobby,)
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To: Pinkbell
I’m not a Romney fan, but he is certainly better than Obama. I’d like to see him win if only to see the hysterics on DU.

Many posters at DU have expressed sincere sounding sympathy for the difficulties that conservatives are having accepting that Mitt is the GOP nominee.

27 posted on 06/23/2012 3:31:32 PM PDT by ansel12 (Massachusetts Governors, where the GOP now goes for it's Presidential candidates.)
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To: Inwoodian; PJ-Comix
Mark Steyn quality effort. I really laughed out loud.

A high compliment indeed. Thanx!

I endeavour to give satisfaction.

28 posted on 06/23/2012 3:34:29 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (TEOTWAWKI.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Cyanide capsules. . . .
[Cyanara!]

I just sprayed a mouthful of perfectly good IPA all over my screen, I'll have you know.

Priceless. The whole thread is comedy gold.

29 posted on 06/23/2012 3:37:08 PM PDT by Noumenon (If people saw socialists for what they truly are, slaughter would ensue - in self-defense.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I know there are lots of doom and gloomers running around saying we might as well commit hari-kari if Romney won.

Sounds like a plan

30 posted on 06/23/2012 3:43:01 PM PDT by chesley (God's chosen instrument - the trumpet)
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To: Charles Henrickson

——pay down debt.——

Following the messiah’s lead. The hands-down winner.


31 posted on 06/23/2012 3:46:04 PM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas (Viva Christo Rey!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Photobucket
32 posted on 06/23/2012 4:00:42 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: eddie willers
Hyperbole anyone?

DUmmies are nothing if not drama queens....

33 posted on 06/23/2012 4:07:25 PM PDT by papertyger ("And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if..."))
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To: Pinkbell

Maybe you could get an account there and plant some seeds of paranoia. It’s a fertile ground over there for all kinds of things. Just suggest that Romney will institute a tax on 30 year old leeches still living in there parents basement. That ought to get them riled up.

Any little push that will drive them to hysterics would be awesome. I love their overly dramatic hissy fits when reality crushes their delusional fantasies of their communist Utopia.


34 posted on 06/23/2012 4:54:09 PM PDT by Dutch Boy
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To: Charles Henrickson

An instant classic.


35 posted on 06/23/2012 5:06:10 PM PDT by Argus
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To: Charles Henrickson
"Get some guns and stock pile ammo. . . ."

And proceed with the hysteria. Good advice for socialists on all sides in politics, national and local. Here's a little fuel for the fun.

Guest Post: Military Rolls Tanks Onto St. Louis Streets...But Why?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2898711/posts

Enjoy the slide.


36 posted on 06/23/2012 5:26:49 PM PDT by familyop ("Wanna cigarette? You're never too young to start." --Deacon, "Waterworld")
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To: Charles Henrickson

>The DUmmie Underground Resistance Fighters (DURF)

How about the DUmmie Underground Fighters for the United States...or DUFUS, for short.


37 posted on 06/23/2012 5:41:26 PM PDT by Jacob Kell
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To: Charles Henrickson
Bain Reeducation Camp:


38 posted on 06/23/2012 5:45:02 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (TEOTWAWKI.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Some Freepers might think the Dummy words about leaving the country are just idle threats, by my lib step-daughter and her husband made plans to go to Canada under Bush II because they were sure he was going to institute the draft after he was re-elected in 2004. I had to bite my tongue from asking them what they were going to do when ChimpyBushHitler invaded Canada. But they were serious.


39 posted on 06/23/2012 5:48:56 PM PDT by driftless2
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To: Charles Henrickson

Why not Rahmney?


40 posted on 06/23/2012 5:54:31 PM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

[Contact Nadin Brzezinski for how to avoid another Fukushima.]

But...only if your name is “Shima”.


41 posted on 06/23/2012 6:30:55 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: eddie willers

Imagine if Santorum got the nomination AND managed to beat Obama. The meltdowns would have been absolutely epic!


42 posted on 06/24/2012 12:11:21 AM PDT by Pinkbell (Woo hoo! Another moderate candidate! Thanks GOP and voters!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Hope the Mayan calendar is true.

December 21, 2012. If Romney wins hopefully that will be the last day of the world. But, then again, who knows, Romney winning may be what the Mayans meant by end of the world.

Sorry to disappoint DUmmies but the end of the world isn't coming on Dec 21, 2012. Archaeologists recently found another stone for the Mayan Calendar that goes on for another 400 years(1).

Really DUmmies, you guys need to have Mommy upgrade her cable so you can get the Science and Nat Geo Channels. Oh and the H2 channel, Ancient Aliens is 'Must Watch TV'.

(1) The infamous Mayan Calendar is carved on round stone 'wheels' in periods of 400 years (iirc) that are stacked on top of each other. They just found the newest one and time goes on -- Ha-Ha!

43 posted on 06/24/2012 4:49:02 AM PDT by Condor51 (Never mess with an old man. He won't fight you he'll just kill you.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Get some guns and stock pile ammo. . . .

[Is that you, Eric Holder?]

My first thought was LOUSY FREEPER TROLL when I saw that answer.

44 posted on 06/24/2012 5:02:46 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (It's time to take out the trash in DC.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Mark Steyn is my favorite substitute host for the Rush show.


45 posted on 06/24/2012 5:35:10 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (You're screwy! You're spaced! You lost the recall race!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Hope the Mayan calendar is true.

Not only do they want to die, but also they would take the rest of us with them.

The attitude, "If I'm gonna die, then so is everybody else" is common among those who yearn for the apocalypse.

Hello, DUmmie! No one gets out of this alive. Everyone on Earth gets his own personal apocalypse.

46 posted on 06/24/2012 6:21:42 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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