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Unemployment Uptick Proof Presidentís Plan Is Working
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Aug 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/04/2012 1:26:07 PM PDT by John Semmens

The slight uptick in the official unemployment rate to 8.3% for July is, strange as it might seem to the average person, proof that the President’s plan for the economy is working says Alen Krueger, chair of the White House Council of Economic Advisers.

“All this focus on on the unemployment numbers is narrow and misplaced,” Krueger maintained. “The President’s vision is much broader than most people can comprehend. He is one of the few who understands that work is not the objective, but merely a means of obtaining the money needed to enjoy life. If we look at some different statistics there is no question that his long-term transformational agenda is progressing as planned.”

One of the “different” statistics Krueger held to be more indicative of progress is the all time high in the number of families receiving food stamps. “Normally, a person would have to work many hours to earn enough to put food on the table,” Krueger pointed out. “With food stamps, though, the work requirement has been disposed of. A family can eat without having to toil for its bread.”

Krueger also hailed President Obama’s easing of the requirement that welfare recipients must seek work as “a modern day equivalent of Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation. With just the stroke of a pen, President Obama has freed millions from wage-slavery. This achievement is not reflected in the official unemployment data.”

“In an ideal world the unemployment rate would be 99%,” Krueger argued. “Only the richest 1% would need to work. The vast majority would be free to use their time for more fulfilling activities.”

In related news, the Government Accountability Office (GAO) released a report saying that the Administration’s expansion of eligibility for food stamps has increased the opportunity for abuse. The incidence of food stamps being used to purchase liquor, lottery tickets, and tattoos is up. Representative Gwen Moore (D-Mich) denied that such uses of food stamps is an abuse of the program and called efforts to curtail it “racist” since it would make food stamp recipients “second class citizens.” “Food stamps are the poor people’s money,” Moore asserted. “They should be free to spend it however they please.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2012/08/03/dems-move-to-block-military-vote/


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; History; Politics
KEYWORDS: foodstamps; jobs; obama; satire

1 posted on 08/04/2012 1:26:18 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Barry’s “ANALysts” and “Economists” have declared this “good news”. They are saying that it has to go up before it can come down and this is a start.


2 posted on 08/04/2012 1:38:02 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (The NRA did not create James "The Joker" Holmes. Harvey Weinstein's Hollywood did.)
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To: John Semmens

The uptick is due to the antisipation of a new pro business pro middleclass president and the booting out of an arrogant inexperienced socialist


3 posted on 08/04/2012 1:39:26 PM PDT by ronnie raygun (bb)
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To: John Semmens
You really do know how to spin your threads to make the innocent reader feel outraged. I thought I was getting better at seeing the satire before I explode a bit, but nope! I guess it's the fact that they are so disturbingly similar to what we are living. Nice job John....


4 posted on 08/04/2012 1:52:49 PM PDT by jcsjcm (This country was built on exceptionalism and individualism. In God we Trust - Laus Deo)
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To: John Semmens

““All this focus on on the unemployment numbers is narrow and misplaced,” Krueger maintained. “The President’s vision is much broader than most people can comprehend. He is one of the few who understands that work is not the objective, but merely a means of obtaining the money needed to enjoy life.”

Grade “A” BS.


5 posted on 08/04/2012 2:44:22 PM PDT by antidemoncrat
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To: John Semmens
strange as it might seem to the average person, proof that the President’s plan for the economy is working

As part of the "uptick" I can assure you that the only plan that is working is Barry's plan to destroy this Country!

6 posted on 08/04/2012 3:55:40 PM PDT by The Sons of Liberty ("Get that evil, foreign, muslim, usurping bastard out of MY White House!" FUBO GTFO!)
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To: John Semmens

John, just a quick note, Gwen Moore is from Wisconsin not Michigan. However I’m sure the local Dems agree with her.


7 posted on 08/04/2012 6:43:29 PM PDT by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123, Bahbah, and Just Lori.)
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