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DUmmie FUnnies 08-27-12 ("Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 27, 2012 | DUmmie Aerows, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 08/26/2012 10:37:45 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

The Rethuglican War on Women gets personal in this bouncy THREAD by DUmmie Aerows, "Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger." Indeed, it was a clear case of Sexual Harrassment, and DUmmie Aerows gets hot under the color!

So let us enter the hyper-sensitive world where every woman is a victim, every man is a creep, and every creep is a right-winger, i.e., DUmmieland, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, predicting that the Democrat Convention will paint the Rethuglicans as "The Party of Akin," is in the [brackets]:

Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger

[I can ALMOST assure you . . . well . . . I really have no idea . . . but I'll blame the right-wingers anyway.]

[BTW, DUmmie Aerows later updated her thread title to . . .]

Weird episode of Sexual Harrassment in Walmart

[Help! I'm a victim!]

I was in Wal-Mart. . . .

[You were in Wal-Mart???? How COULD you?? BTW, did you see the detention center in the basement?]

please go ahead and roast me, but there really aren't any other places here to get deli meat. I was getting my smoked honey turkey. . . .

[You went to Wal-Mart--that's bad enough--and then you bought MEAT?? We're ready to roast and smoke you, honey! You turkey!]

my mother was getting her cinnamon buns.

[They have a place in Wal-Mart where they do that now? Is that like bikini waxing?]

This man next to me mentions "I never imagined that Sunday would be the busiest day in here."

[Whoa! An obvious pick-up line! That sexist creep!]

I, of course, shop on Sundays. . . .

[Of course. God forbid you go to church.]

and offered, "yes, it's always busy on Sundays. You work all week, Saturday is housecleaning day, then you shop on Sunday."

[You tell him, girl! No means no! Back off, creep!]

At that point this weirdo leaned in and adjusted the color on my shirt. . . .

[What about the tint and contrast? Did he adjust those too?]

grazing both the necklace on my neck, and my neck.

[So the guy perhaps instinctively and innocently makes a little helpful move to fix your cockeyed collar, and he accidentally comes in contact with your necklace--and you're ready to assume the worst, like he's some stalker type! OK, maybe he was flirting with you a bit. Or . . . maybe you're reading too much into this. Alright, maybe even we grant you he shouldn't have touched your collar. But does that mean therefore that he's a right-winger?? Ever heard of a guy named Clinton?]

My mother arrived from the donut counter and took over. . . .

["Donut touch my daughter's color!"}

asking me to go look for a chicken for dinner.

[Mom is a chicken-winger.]

She knew the dude had creeped me out completely.

[How do you know the dude wasn't a DUde?]

My mother saved me from this icky person by sending me for a chicken. . . .

Right there at the deli counter.

[It was a deli cut situation.]

EDIT: I updated the thread to reflect that it was Sexual Harassment to take the political element out of it, because it could probably happen to any woman, anywhere, regardless of political stripe.

[So the WOMAN could be of any political stripe, but the man must still be a right-winger??]

It truly creeped me out and considering the Republican ideas about women. . . .

[There it is. He must be a right-winger.]

I was so glad to have my mother with me, and was scared all the way into the parking lot.

[The DUmmies now commiserate with the quivering Aerows . . .]

I go ahead and give people dirty looks at the grocery store when I feel they deserved it.

[How can they tell the difference from your regular looks?]

I wonder... could it be that you look young? . . . A huge part of getting harrassed and disrespected is looking young.

[Maybe THAT'S it, DUmmie Aerows. People naturally want to adjust the collars of the young.]

I'm petite, feminine and blond. . . .

[In reality, "petite, feminine and blond" DUmmie Aerows is probably some guy sitting in his basement who looks like this . . .]

I am also approaching 40. . . . I am a blond, feminine lesbian. . . .

[A lesbian posting in DUmmieland! What a surprise! But a "feminine lesbian"?? I thought that was only in the movies.]

right there at the deli counter.

[Right in front of the tu-- Nope! Too easy!]

Strictly speaking, This might be considered assault.

[Assault with intent to straighten a collar.]

What makes you sure he was right wing?

[The fact that you would even ASK such a question, that you would doubt for a moment that he was--this must mean that YOU TOO are a right-wing creep! LOUSY CREEPER TROLL!!!]

As soon as he touched you, you should have dialed 911.

[What's the number again for 911? I forget.]

When someone is assaulted, there are three possible ways of reacting, fight, flight or freeze.

[What about when someone's collar is adjusted? Do you a) go over to the chicken department, b) mess up your collar again, or c) whine about it on DU?]

I was so tired this morning. it was 9 am, and lest that seem like a late morning, I was dressed and doing things.

[Maybe that's how your collar got messed up, DUmmie Aerows.]

Yesterday, I replaced about 15 lightbulbs on a ladder. . . .

[How many lightbulbs does it take for a DUmmie to replace on a ladder?]

I kind of was just stunned.

[I was hoping a WOMAN would adjust my collar.]

I can't promise to do less in my life and stop drinking less unsweetened, decaffeinated iced tea, the best beverage in the world.

[Ah, so you're a teabagger, are you?]

I am a rather petite woman that loves other women . . .

[. . . to adjust my collar.]

Do they sell hot pepper spray at Mal-Wart?

[I don't think that goes too well on smoked turkey.]

where do they get the idea they can do it? YOU LET HIM DO IT!

[I thought only Rethuglicans blamed the victim. I guess not.]

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF

[GET TOUGH, CREAM PUFF!]

Apply your knee to his crotch, vigorously and immediately.

[What every woman in DUmmieland would love to do to every man in the world.]

And you DIDN'T SLAP HIM because?!

[Maybe because slapping someone just because they fixed your collar for you could be looked at askance. Just a thought.]

It is a little weird but I think you're overreacting.

[FINALLY somebody comes up with this very real possibility!]

He didn't touch you in an inappropriate place, nor did he say or do anything to make you think he had inappropriate intentions.

[DUmmie cbdo2007, please go over to the Kewpie Doll aisle and pick one out!]

"adjusting my collar" is NOT appropriate contact. . . .

[OK, OK, we GET it, DUmmie Aerows! It is possible the guy did cross the boundary, whether intentionally or unintentionally. We don't know, we weren't there. But you go on and on and on, making yourself out to be a victim, over what COULD have been just a well-meaning assist (or poorly done innocent flirting), and you have everyone giving you advice about knees to the groin and pepper-spraying the guy in the face and yelling in the store, and MAYBE all the guy wanted to do was fix your collar! And what's more, you ASSUME the guy must have been a right-winger!]

"Color" or "Collar?" When I first read that post, I thought the creep had thrown up all over your shirt.

[He IS a Repuke, you know.]

He got the idea that he could do that because you didn't elbow him in the face.

[Just to be safe, elbow every man who talks to you in the face. That'll make them think twice about adjusting your collar.]

If Sandra Bullock adjusted my collar, I wouldn't care.

[Sorry, DUmmie lumberjack jeff, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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To: Charles Henrickson
He didn't touch you in an inappropriate place, nor did he say or do anything to make you think he had inappropriate intentions.

[DUmmie cbdo2007, please go over to the Kewpie Doll aisle and pick one out!]

Blue light special even! :)

21 posted on 08/27/2012 4:50:00 AM PDT by luvie (My heroes wear camos)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I was in Wal-Mart. . . .

She might have been talking about MEEEE! I practically lived in Wal-Mart from end of June until early August. I had coupons on steroids that I was using there. Got a TON of free food and other stuff including my Orgreenic stick-free pan.

22 posted on 08/27/2012 5:18:06 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson
At that point this weirdo leaned in and adjusted the color on my shirt. . . .

When I hit at chicks at Walmart or any other store, I simply give them a coupon. Quite often I just look at the stuff in their baskets and spot what the coupon matchups are. I actually did this a few days ago when I spotted the woman behind me with a Bic ladies razor pack so I simply handed her a coupon that knocked 3 bucks off the price. She was happy!

23 posted on 08/27/2012 5:21:55 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson
[How many lightbulbs does it take for a DUmmie to replace on a ladder?]

100. One to screw it in and 99 to scream that you didn't use the compact fluorescent light bulbs chock full of mercury.

24 posted on 08/27/2012 5:29:07 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Hmmm. Well, the guy was probably a little out of line. I don't especially like getting pawed at by strangers, either.

However, I wouldn't think any more of it than a lack of social graces, and it would likely be forgotten by the time I got to the checkout. Or, more likely, the next aisle.

It must be hard to walk around in a state of being perpetually offended.

25 posted on 08/27/2012 5:35:14 AM PDT by wbill
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To: wbill
"perpetually offended"

But that is the motto of the NOW nags: We Are Offended!

p.s. There used to be fem-nazi who wrote (scribbled) for the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel named Harva Hatchen (hatchet would have more appropriate). Each and every one of the columns she wrote concerning feminism (which was her uh specialty) involved her taking offense at something some evil, nasty, male chauvinist pig had done to her or her sister hags. One column she wrote she took offense because her doctor called her by her first name. I can still remember her outrage "how dare he call me by my first name." I don't know if she's still writing for the J-S. Maybe she was too wacky even for them.

26 posted on 08/27/2012 6:13:15 AM PDT by driftless2
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To: Charles Henrickson
I'm petite, feminine and blond. . . .

I am also approaching 40. . . . I am a blond, feminine lesbian. . . .

With a face that would make a train take a dirt road.

27 posted on 08/27/2012 6:32:09 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (RINO season is open. No limit. Make them extinct.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

When I first saw the DU title, I figured that some DUmmie was mad because a gentlemen held the door open for her. Imagine my shock over an adjusted collar!

Hey DUmmies, I like how you continually harp on a Rethuglican war on women and state that they think sexual harassment is OK, yet you celebrate an actual rapist as your DNC keynote speaker. Oh, and your hero Jesse J is working to get 2 CONVICTED rapists set free. Your hypocracy knows no bounds.


28 posted on 08/27/2012 6:45:44 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets; PJ-Comix
Let's see, someone hitting on a petite, feminine, blond lesbian. . . . Could it have been THIS man?


29 posted on 08/27/2012 6:51:41 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Rachel Mancow.)
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To: Arrowhead1952; PJ-Comix
With a face that would make a train take a dirt road.

She does admit that, later in the thread:

71. I'm a stranger. At the deli at 9am. I am the ugliest woman you have ever seen in your life, complete with mole hairs. On her nose, too. Not that it matters. . . .

So some normal, red-blooded guy is going to hit on a short, ugly lesbian pushing 40 with mole hairs on her nose?? Really??

You know, sometimes a collar is just a collar.


30 posted on 08/27/2012 7:07:12 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (A well-adjusted collar.)
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To: metmom

This is probably a fictional story, though I agree the collar thing was not appropriate, if it happened- which it probably didn’t.


31 posted on 08/27/2012 7:16:34 AM PDT by darkangel82 (I don't have a superiority complex, I'm just better than you.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets; PJ-Comix

"OK, I admit it: I like to adjust collars."


32 posted on 08/27/2012 7:22:50 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Rachel Maddog.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Leftwing women make me laugh. They like to claim conservative females are backward and helpless, but they’re the ones who can’t take care of an episode like this themselves. This one waited for her mommy to come save her and then obsessed about it to a bunch of freaks.

I’ve had this kind of thing happen. Not too long ago a guy in the grocery store told me he loved my hair, and reached out to put his dirty hands in it. I backed away and said, “No, you don’t touch me.” I had “sexual harassment” in the workplace as well.....a guy used to back me into a corner and put his hands on me. I told him I would kick something up to his neck unless he left me alone. Taken care of, no problem, and we actually got along fine afterward. There was no need for me to run to human resources to file a complaint, or call up NOW and whine that I was being discriminated against.


33 posted on 08/27/2012 7:28:29 AM PDT by CatherineofAragon (Time for a write-in campaign...Darryl Dixon for President)
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix
She does admit that, later in the thread:

So she is a liar just like 0 bummer and the other democraps...

34 posted on 08/27/2012 7:46:52 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (RINO season is open. No limit. Make them extinct.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Typical Drama Queen Loser Lib.

Another great one Charles!


35 posted on 08/27/2012 8:02:50 AM PDT by mowowie
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To: Charles Henrickson

****I am also approaching 40. . . . I am a blond, feminine lesbian. . . . ****

Maybe the man was really a lesbian trapped in a man’s body and his feminine side was making moves on you! ;-D


36 posted on 08/27/2012 8:18:32 AM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar (Tyrannies demand immense sacrifices of their people to produce trifles.-Marquis de Custine)
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix

I’ll be hitting Wal-Mart this afternoon again to do my laps and shop. I’ll check around to see if there are any more collars that need fixing.


37 posted on 08/27/2012 9:22:37 AM PDT by bcsco (Bourbon gets better with age...I age better with Bourbon.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
A slight exaggeration -- as you may judge for yourself -- since the entire incident was caught on film: it wasn't a collar, wasn't in Walmart, and happened on a work-day.

Skip to 1:41 if you don't want to see the job interview that preceded the incident. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B48ZpNcxBL0

38 posted on 08/27/2012 10:37:11 AM PDT by FredZarguna (Who touches a person's fabric? What can possibly be gained by touching a fabric?! It's insanity!)
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To: Old Sarge

The last line of the sign is a typo. It is supposed to be an initial, a word, and another initial.


39 posted on 08/27/2012 11:36:46 AM PDT by Erasmus (Zwischen des Teufels und des tiefen, blauen Meers)
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To: Old Sarge

[ picture of Harrasment (sic) Panda ]

One of my favorite characters on “Dinosaurs” was “Sexual Harris,” a clear snark at the Clarence Thomas hearings and the congress-critters’ pronunciation of the word.

“Sexual Harris” was a lounge lizard...


40 posted on 08/27/2012 12:09:38 PM PDT by Peet (Everything has an end -- only the sausage has two.)
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