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Yiddish Curses for GOP Jews
Tablet ^ | August 30, 2012 | Rachel Shukert

Posted on 09/05/2012 3:49:29 PM PDT by nickcarraway

That hot new website making fun of Jewish Republicans? My husband and I made it—and you’re welcome.

You know how it is.

You’re standing in the hallway outside the bathroom watching your husband shave, your always-simmering wrath toward the state of American politics in general and the Republican Party in particular brought to a rolling boil by several cups of coffee drunk at injudicious speed, and you’re both inveighing against certain distant-ish relatives whose ideological leanings are a constant source of ire, wondering aloud what terrible misfortune might need to befall them to bring them around, or at least lay their hypocrisy bare. That they should suffer a catastrophic illness that their insurance refuses to cover, leaving them nothing to be so bent out of shape about re: the estate tax? That they should be so hot for Israel to bomb Iran that their son drops out of medical school to join the IDF? That their son should be elected president and they should have no idea what the hell they did with his birth certificate? And then a light bulb goes on.

Consider this a coming-out of sorts: My husband, the long-suffering Ben, and I are the force behind Yiddish Curses for Republican Jews, a mom-and-pop operated website that in less than a week has generated more than 4.5 million page views throughout the world, including four people in Iran, all of whom I would very much like to treat to a cup of coffee.

But while it’s certainly exciting watching the numbers tick up from the little corner in our kitchen that is our designated command center/smoking area, kind of like one of those spinning-newspaper montages from old movies that end with someone being really, really famous—and believe me, I can only wish that every child from a left-leaning Jewish family should get to hear at least once the sound of her father’s voice when he calls to tell her that something she wrote was linked to by Paul Krugman—what’s been most fascinating about it to me is to see how perfectly the Yiddish language lent itself to the emotions and ideas undergirding this project. With a cadence alternately baroque and colloquial, Yiddish—or rather, our Anglicized approximation of it—seems uniquely calibrated to lay bare any hypocrisy, pick the bones of self-righteousness, puncture the balloons of pompousness, and many other such metaphors. If, as W.C. Fields once had it, wars should be fought in a giant stadium by world leaders armed with socks filled with horse manure, perhaps all political discourse should take the form of Yiddish-style curses.

Let’s look at what makes a Yiddish curse so special, shall we? As Michael Wex, the lauded author of Born To Kvetch (and who, I would like to point out, had nothing to do with any of this, he should live and be well) has written, a Yiddish curse “isn’t a matter of yelling out bad words; the trick is to put them together in the most damaging possible way.” Unlike Irish or Italian curses, Yiddish curses rarely wish the target irreparable bodily harm. There have always been plenty of other people more than willing to give us that—and besides, as every Jew knows, there are things worse than death. Like having every tooth in your head fall out except one, to give you a toothache. Or going to the toilet every three minutes, or every three days. As Aunt Ceil said upon witnessing Uncle Abe’s gasping indigestion upon eating pork chops in the Woody Allen film Radio Days: “A heart attack? A heart attack is too good for him! He deserves an enema!”

The greatest Yiddish curses, however, are the sort with some kind of clever twist of the knife (always a dull one). These start off sounding like a blessing, wishing on the disdained something that anybody would be thrilled to have—a vast fortune, a superannuated life—and then, with little warning, wish for it all to turn to dust. Take for instance, the classic insult I consider to be the apex of this genre, and indeed my most dearly beloved Yiddish curse since I first heard it growled over a canasta table at a family reunion as a very young child: “You should have a large store, and whatever people ask for, you shouldn’t have. And what you do have, it shouldn’t be requested.”

I ask you, dear reader: Is there a better, meaner, more existentially maddening, more perfectly, essentially Jewish curse than that? It practically forces you to imagine the beleaguered shopkeeper behind the counter, tearing at his beard, his inability to satisfy a constant stream of increasingly furious customers forcing him to watch everything he has dreamed of and slaved over and used every aspect of his being to build crumble around him—making him, of course, a sitting duck for the kind of corporate raiders, Brylcreemed with sociopathy, that Mitt Romney and his acolytes would have us worship.

Which, of course, brings us to the Republicans, and their Jewish supporters who I have to believe somewhere deep in their souls really do know better. The GOP platform unveiled to the party faithful this week is so draconian in its policies toward the sick and underprivileged; so regressive in its attitudes toward women, gays, and hard science; so shamelessly tilted in favor of the supremely wealthy and disdainful of everyone else, that the greatest curse you can offer anyone is to hope it all comes true, leaving them to suffer the consequences. Live to 120 on your privatized Medicare vouchers. Make your fortune and lose everything when your chronic illness hits its lifetime insurance cap. Let the maniacs outlaw the morning-after pill the day before your daughter gets home from the NFTY convention, and see if your tax cut makes it all worth it.

Sure, there’s the reality that you’ll take all the rest of us down with you, but the truly embittered curser knows it’s all worth it just to see you suffer. What could be more of a blessing than that?


TOPICS: Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: benabramowitz; fauxjews; jewish; obamafundraisers; rachelshukert; republican; yiddish

1 posted on 09/05/2012 3:49:31 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway
Q: What do you call a male Jew who votes for Obama?

A: Schmuck, putz

2 posted on 09/05/2012 3:51:54 PM PDT by ken5050 ("One useless man is a shame, two are a law firm, three are a Congress".....John Adams)
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To: nickcarraway

It wasn’t the pubs who booed calling Jerusalem the capital of Israel.


3 posted on 09/05/2012 3:52:26 PM PDT by Mrs.Z
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To: nickcarraway

This is satire, right?


4 posted on 09/05/2012 3:55:40 PM PDT by Excellence (9/11 was an act of faith.)
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To: Excellence

Unfortunately, I don’t think it is :(


5 posted on 09/05/2012 4:00:04 PM PDT by Past Your Eyes (You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.)
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To: nickcarraway
...wars should be fought in a giant stadium by world leaders armed with socks filled with horse manure,...

Hey, I'd pay to see that.

6 posted on 09/05/2012 4:01:04 PM PDT by HKMk23 (GOPe 2012: MITT HAPPENS)
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To: nickcarraway
Not all people who claim to be Jews are actually Jews. When the Romans conquered the middle east, they destroyed Edom. The Surviving Edomites merged with occupied Israel and when Rome destroyed the temple, they dispersed with the Jews, as Jews.

So in their family memory they are Jewish descendants, But in their hearts, they are still Edomites, and hate Judah with an incalculable hatred.

This is why I believe the scripture for the last days saying (Rev 3:9)"Behold, I will make those of the synagogue of Satan who say that they are Jews and are not, but lie--behold, I will make them come and bow down before your feet, and learn that I have loved you." is there. ".

7 posted on 09/05/2012 4:01:42 PM PDT by American in Israel (A wise man's heart directs him to the right, but the foolish mans heart directs him toward the left.)
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To: Excellence
This is satire, right?

In reading the comments at the web site, it appears this is real.

8 posted on 09/05/2012 4:03:00 PM PDT by luvbach1 (Stop the destruction in 2012 or continue the decline)
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To: nickcarraway; justiceseeker93

The fact that there is a Jewish Republican movement pisses them off so much, they have to make a website about it.

Piss off a Dem, show you believe in G-d, and join/support the Republican Jewish Coalition!

www.rjchq.org


9 posted on 09/05/2012 4:07:03 PM PDT by sf4dubya (I rebelled against my parents by becoming a conservative. REJECT THEN STOP SOCIALISM THIS NOV!)
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To: Past Your Eyes

Trial lawyers getting their kids to write pro-0 articles.


10 posted on 09/05/2012 4:07:49 PM PDT by txhurl
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To: luvbach1
Here is the site they put together: Ugly stuff!
11 posted on 09/05/2012 4:08:17 PM PDT by mlizzy (And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell others not to kill? --MT)
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To: nickcarraway
you’re ...wondering aloud what terrible misfortune might need to befall them to bring them around, or at least lay their hypocrisy bare. That they should suffer a catastrophic illness...

... Unlike Irish or Italian curses, Yiddish curses rarely wish the target irreparable bodily harm....

and...

I can only wish that every child from a left-leaning Jewish family should get to hear at least once the sound of her father’s voice

Let the maniacs outlaw the morning-after pill the day before your daughter gets home from the NFTY convention

I can't help but notice that amid all the feigned concern for the unfortunate that these liberals put out (which extends only to aiding the suffering with other people's money and not aiding them with their own) ... that these liberals have no concern whatsoever for the people from whom all the largesse is to be stolen or about whether they people from whom the liberals wish to steal might need their own earnings to attend to their own suffering, the suffering of their own loved ones, and the needs of people whom they would otherwise selfless help if liberals didn't steal it and run it through the government waste-for-votes machine first.

So much hypocrisy, so little time.

12 posted on 09/05/2012 4:09:11 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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To: nickcarraway

Well, how did God, and the Jewish people, feel about their neighbors who were sacrificing babies? How does God feel about abortion? How does God feel about Democrats because of their support for abortion?


13 posted on 09/05/2012 4:12:29 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: nickcarraway
Forward reading socialists who have never cracked open the Torah.
14 posted on 09/05/2012 4:14:52 PM PDT by rmlew ("Mosques are our barracks, minarets our bayonets, domes our helmets, the believers our soldiers.")
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To: American in Israel

Actually, it was the Israelites under the Hasmoneas who did this. The King and High Priest Yochanan ben Shimon (John Hyracnius) crushed the Hellenized Edomites in 125BCE. He then did something shameful in forcing them to convert. When the Romans came, they turned control of Judea over to Edomites like Antipater his half Nabatean (Arab) spawn, Herod. Because of this connection of the Romans and Edomites, Rabbinic literature generally combines the two. The curses on the Edomites in the Talmud are generally meant for Rome and Byzantium, and the Roman colonists, who were ethnically cleansing Jews.


15 posted on 09/05/2012 4:14:59 PM PDT by rmlew ("Mosques are our barracks, minarets our bayonets, domes our helmets, the believers our soldiers.")
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To: blueunicorn6
"Well, how did God, and the Jewish people, feel about their neighbors who were sacrificing babies?"

The Jews were sacrificing their babies and engaging in child sacrifice themselves, as is well documented in Jeremiah and Ezekiel.

16 posted on 09/05/2012 4:19:07 PM PDT by circlecity
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Comment #17 Removed by Moderator

To: rmlew
crushed the Hellenized Edomites in 125BCE

BCE? Really?
18 posted on 09/05/2012 4:19:48 PM PDT by fr_freak
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To: rmlew

Real Jews read, write, and speak Hebrew. The rest are fakes.


19 posted on 09/05/2012 4:20:04 PM PDT by reg45 (Barack 0bama: Implementing class warfare by having no class!)
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To: rmlew

Real Jews read, write, and speak Hebrew. The rest are fakes.


20 posted on 09/05/2012 4:20:04 PM PDT by reg45 (Barack 0bama: Implementing class warfare by having no class!)
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To: rmlew

Exactly right!


21 posted on 09/05/2012 4:23:30 PM PDT by nolongerademocrat ("Before you ask G-d for something, first thank G-d for what you already have." B'rachot 30b)
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To: Excellence

I doubt that. I suppose that someone has, previously, attempted to make sense of this way of thinking. I don’t have the patience for it and it’s not critical to my survival.


22 posted on 09/05/2012 4:24:09 PM PDT by old school
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To: dennisw; Cachelot; Nix 2; veronica; Catspaw; knighthawk; Alouette; Optimist; weikel; Lent; GregB; ..
Middle East and terrorism, occasional political and Jewish issues Ping List. High Volume

If you’d like to be on or off, please FR mail me.

..................

Amazing, it's a real site, http://www.yiddishcursesforrepublicanjews.com but the "curses", rather amateurish, are all in English. The site name is a fraud. Yiddish is, in fact, a language. With actual words. Not an English language comedy genre.

Not surprising, as The Jewish Week

notes, it's actually an Obama fundraising site.

Ben Abramowitz and Rachel Shukert

should know better than to mock a language which may not have been spoken by anyone in their family, but which was by many Jewish immigrants to this nation. Even for money for Obama.

And kudus to the Obama campaign, a really class act.

23 posted on 09/05/2012 4:24:31 PM PDT by SJackson (I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people people die of natural causes)
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To: nickcarraway

What is this? Appeasement after the Democrats threw Israel under the bus?


24 posted on 09/05/2012 4:24:39 PM PDT by GVnana
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To: circlecity

So, it’s ok with you then? Please go on record.


25 posted on 09/05/2012 4:25:46 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: piasa
Let the maniacs outlaw the morning-after pill the day before your daughter gets home from the NFTY convention

I also notice the liberals always try to frame abortion in the least damaging way, even as their policies try to promote abortion in the most expansive way. For example, why did the author not use this sentence instead:

"Let the maniacs outlaw the use of scissors to plunge a hole into the skull of the partially born unloved infant 8 to 9 months after your daughter gets home from the NFTY convention"

Or...

"Let the maniacs outlaw killing your granddaughter in the womb months after your daughter gets home from the NFTY convention"

Or..."Let the maniacs outlaw killing your gift from God the day before your daughter gets home from the NFTY convention"

Or..."Let the maniacs outlaw the murder of the baby an infertile couple desperately wanted ..."

Or ... "Let the maniacs stop the murder of the very person God sent to develop the cure for pancreatic cancer..."

26 posted on 09/05/2012 4:26:14 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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To: nickcarraway; null and void; Lady Jag

“several cups of coffee drunk at injudicious speed”
“all of whom I would very much like to treat to a cup of coffee. “

Somebody mentioned coffee.


27 posted on 09/05/2012 4:32:07 PM PDT by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free.....)
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To: All

On second thought, we should FReep this site with our own version of Yiddish curses on Democrats.


28 posted on 09/05/2012 4:40:14 PM PDT by sf4dubya (I rebelled against my parents by becoming a conservative. REJECT THEN STOP SOCIALISM THIS NOV!)
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To: blueunicorn6

Abortion is forbidden under Jewish law except in the case where the mother’s life is threatened.

Pretty sure the poster was trying to point that out to you, since that is supposed to bethe origin of your beliefs.


29 posted on 09/05/2012 4:47:27 PM PDT by sf4dubya (I rebelled against my parents by becoming a conservative. REJECT THEN STOP SOCIALISM THIS NOV!)
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To: SJackson

Kudus are a genus of African antelope with long curly antlers ... May a whole herd of kudus stampede the DNC.


30 posted on 09/05/2012 4:57:10 PM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: Mrs.Z
It wasn’t the pubs who booed calling Jerusalem the capital of Israel.

This old broad, who wrote this, doesn't care about that. The ultra-liberal, American Jews don't care about Israel. I'd hate to be in her shoes on Judgment Day.
31 posted on 09/05/2012 5:04:13 PM PDT by oliviasdad
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To: blueunicorn6
"So, it’s ok with you then?"

Of course it's not "ok" with me, I don't know where you got that crazy idea. I just pointed out that it WAS ok with many of the Jews of the time.

32 posted on 09/05/2012 5:15:32 PM PDT by circlecity
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To: circlecity

Are you helping? I’m not a Bible scholar, but even I know that what you are arguing is out of context. If you’re for killing babies, then go ahead and say so. If you’re against killing babies, then why bring that up out of context? Who do you serve?


33 posted on 09/05/2012 5:21:02 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: sf4dubya

No....I don’t suppose that....I know that. Who do you serve? There are people who come on this site to spread dissension. The Democrats are for killing babies. My understanding is that the Jews don’t condone the killing of babies. Why in the world would you then say that well, some Jews were OK with it? It is sophistry and beneficial only to the party that thinks it’s OK to kill babies.


34 posted on 09/05/2012 5:31:00 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: blueunicorn6

There are a lot of Jews who don’t believe the Torah is word of G-d.

There are also Jews who stick their head in the sand and say PP is for all woman’s health issues. Just like there are people who call themselves Catholics or Christians who do as well.

I don’t want to derail this thread further, so if you have real questions about this, I’d suggest the Religion forums.


35 posted on 09/05/2012 5:48:37 PM PDT by sf4dubya (I rebelled against my parents by becoming a conservative. REJECT THEN STOP SOCIALISM THIS NOV!)
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To: nickcarraway

I’ll try a few Yiddish style curses directed at Obama-supporting liberal Jews.

“May Obama become your good friend, and appoint you ambassador to the Taliban.”

“May your have a full health benefits and retirement paid for by the government, in Gitmo, with a shared cell, no less.”

“May all your children become doctors, then drop out to become skinheads, leaving you to pay their tuition.”


36 posted on 09/05/2012 5:55:23 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: blueunicorn6

Out of context? Copying from the dems now? You are correct - you are no bible scholar. It was perfectly in context. You asked how God and Jews felt about the people who were killing their babies, as if God and the Jews were on one side and the baby killers (Cannanites) were on the other. I pointed out that the Jews were on the baby killers’ side because they were doing the same thing, even worse during the reign of Manasseh. The bible clearly points out that during the reign of Mannasseh Judah was more evil than the Cannanites whom God sent Joshua to wipe out for their wickedness. Point, game and match.


37 posted on 09/05/2012 5:56:20 PM PDT by circlecity
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To: nickcarraway

To Ms. Shukert on you and your shlemazel husband I wish my favorite Yiddish curse I learned from my father:

All your teeth should fall out except one for a toothache!

You have dreck for brains and you can’t find your tuches with both hands.


38 posted on 09/05/2012 7:10:14 PM PDT by JewishRighter
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To: nickcarraway

Rachel”s herring has not been pickled.
(Maybe some nice boy with a safe government pension... A Doctor..!)


39 posted on 09/05/2012 7:28:14 PM PDT by outofsalt ("If History teaches us anything it's that history rarely teaches us anything")
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To: piasa

or let the maniacs stop the killing of the only grandchild you will ever have.


40 posted on 09/05/2012 7:28:58 PM PDT by Bellflower (The LORD is Holy, separated from all sin, perfect, righteous, high and lifted up.)
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To: mlizzy
Here is the site they put together: Ugly stuff!

I went there and the comment I posted was there a moment and than rejected. There must be a moderator. Everyone should go there and post this comment, so that the moderator has to read it, even if it is rejected:

Numbers 22:12 And God said unto Balaam, Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people: for they [are] blessed.

41 posted on 09/05/2012 7:37:09 PM PDT by Bellflower (The LORD is Holy, separated from all sin, perfect, righteous, high and lifted up.)
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To: mlizzy; All
Here is the site they put together: Ugly stuff!

I went there and the comment I posted was there a moment and than rejected. There must be a moderator. Everyone should go there and post this comment, so that the moderator has to read it, even if it is rejected:

Numbers 22:12 And God said unto Balaam, Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people: for they [are] blessed.

42 posted on 09/05/2012 7:37:26 PM PDT by Bellflower (The LORD is Holy, separated from all sin, perfect, righteous, high and lifted up.)
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To: circlecity

Well, we know who you serve. I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to even give you one drink of water. Your father is laughing.


43 posted on 09/05/2012 7:38:34 PM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: sf4dubya
There are a lot of Jews who don’t believe the Torah is word of G-d.

{Insert your favorite Hypocritical Democrat here}

44 posted on 09/05/2012 8:15:22 PM PDT by KC_Lion ( Wherever I find myself standing, I forever stand with Israel.)
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To: SJackson
זאל'ן זיי וואקס'ן אזוי ווי א צוויבל מיט קאף אונטר ד'רערט May they grow like an onion, with their head beneath the ground.
45 posted on 09/05/2012 11:52:42 PM PDT by Eleutheria5 (End the occupation. Annex today.)
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To: nickcarraway

“You’re standing in the hallway outside the bathroom watching your husband shave”

All I needed to read to know she’s not much of a Jewess.

Ten Freeper points to the first non-Jewish poster who figures out what is wrong with the opening line from this cow.


46 posted on 09/06/2012 7:36:13 AM PDT by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem.)
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To: SJackson

Obama has got to be the only black man who would eat pastrami on Wonder Bread with mayonnaise. He’s so deeply uncool.


47 posted on 09/07/2012 5:39:59 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: Jewbacca

Because she’s in there rinsing out the sink with each shave pass?


48 posted on 09/07/2012 5:45:32 AM PDT by txhurl
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To: txhurl

Probably!

But the real reason is observant Jewish men do not shave.

At most (like when I was in the Israeli Army) you use an electric razor that leaves a pretty good “Don Johnson” stubble.


49 posted on 09/07/2012 7:37:33 AM PDT by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem.)
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To: miss marmelstein

I put mayo on pastrami with mustard and pickles and lettuce

Garfinkels rye loaf in wax paper bag

Course im not Jewish but i am a well seasoned shabbaz goy

I put cheese on pastrami too

Bad boy


50 posted on 09/29/2012 12:38:38 AM PDT by wardaddy (this is a perfect window for Netanyahu to bomb Iran..I hereby give my go ahead..thanks Muzzie idiots)
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