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Administration Springs into Action Following Mid-East Crisis
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Sep 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/15/2012 1:25:11 AM PDT by John Semmens

In the wake of numerous attacks on US embassies throughout the Mid-East, the Obama Administration has undertaken several initiatives aimed at quelling the crisis.

One of these initiatives has been to launch an investigation of those responsible for producing the video alleged to be the spark inciting the violence. Attorney General Eric Holder has already disclosed the real name and location of the individual who produced the offending video.

Holder maintained that his Department is acting within the bounds of the First Amendment. “We are not abridging anyone's freedom of speech,” he insisted. “Mr. Nakoula has had his say without any interference from us. We are now endeavoring to smooth the way for others to freely exercise their religious beliefs.”

Tommy Vietor, a spokesman for the Administration's National Security Council, contacted You Tube and Google demanding that the offensive video be suppressed. “Hurting the feelings of over a billion Muslims cannot be tolerated,” Vietor contended. “The President is determined that this misuse of the Internet must stop.”

Joint Chiefs Chairman General Martin Dempsey phoned Florida Pastor Terry Jones and advised him to disassociate himself with the offending video. “I wanted to impress upon him the serious national security threat posed by this video and other actions deemed to be offensive to Muslim religious sensibilities,” Dempsey said. “I also reminded him that the President has the authority to arrest and detain anyone he considers a threat to national security.”

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton hastened to reassure the Egyptian Government that their failure to prevent the attack on our embassy will not endanger a planned shipment of over a billion dollars in US foreign aid. She also urged him not to overreact to suggestions that US Marines guarding our embassies be allowed to carry loaded weapons. “I would caution President Mursi to remember that it is only a suggestion at this point,” Clinton reminded. “For now we will study the matter. And we will certainly get his buy-in before we go ahead.”

Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney urged Muslims “to direct their wrath not at the US Government, but at the right wing extremists who callously offend their religion. They need to recognize that President Obama is the best friend they could have in the White House and refrain from doing anything that might give aid and comfort to his opponent during the weeks before our elections.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/118734-2012-09-14-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-september-16-2012.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: arabspring; islam; obama; satire

1 posted on 09/15/2012 1:25:17 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 09/15/2012 1:27:18 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Not much parody in this one. :p


3 posted on 09/15/2012 1:35:52 AM PDT by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: John Semmens

You know, John, you cannot always rely on the veil of satire to soften the ugly truth.

Funny nonetheless!


4 posted on 09/15/2012 1:39:04 AM PDT by Gene Eric (Demoralization is a weapon of the enemy. Don't get it, don't spread it!)
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To: John Semmens
So per Jay Carney it is ok if Muslims direct their wrath at Republicans. The liberals saw 9/11 and this here and they have sided with the terrorists.
5 posted on 09/15/2012 1:44:33 AM PDT by Freedom of Speech Wins
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To: John Semmens
Domo.

'“I wanted to impress upon him the serious national security threat posed by this video and other actions deemed to be offensive to Muslim religious sensibilities,” Dempsey said. “I also reminded him that the President has the authority to arrest and detain anyone he considers a threat to national security.”'

Top shelf, as usual, Mr. Semmens. I don't know whether to split a gut, or pack up and split. Not that there'll be anywhere safe to run to, if these criminals are allowed to continue to trample the Constitution and the rule of law much longer.

6 posted on 09/15/2012 2:04:44 AM PDT by Flotsam_Jetsome (If not you, who? If not now, when?)
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To: John Semmens

I am certainly relieved to know my government is protecting me from movies, but I do wonder why the terrorists are burning effigies of Obama and not the film. Don’t they know it is the film that is the cause of their hurt feelings.


7 posted on 09/15/2012 2:07:21 AM PDT by brightright
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To: John Semmens

There is enough material in Zer0’s foreign policy flop in the Middle East for Romney to win victory this November. The up coming debates this October should see Zer0 taken to the wood shed by Romney over his reckless policy in the Middle East. I mean, Romney should be able to whack Zer0 so hard the sound will echo around the world.

America is now seeing the catastrophe under way. They should be smart enough to know it was not due to some 14 minute video. What the American People do not know is this a coordinated uprising by those who know that Israel is about to take out Iran’s nukes. They want America to fear what will happen if we give our support to our ally, Israel, in any way.


8 posted on 09/15/2012 2:33:38 AM PDT by jonrick46 (Countdown to 11-06-2012)
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To: John Semmens

The Chinese have a saying: Tiger who spring into action may summer a fall in wintertime.

Cafefully analyzed it means....I have no idea....Maybe don’t order the chicken.


9 posted on 09/15/2012 3:00:31 AM PDT by count-your-change (You don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
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To: John Semmens

You almost had me vomit. I had to look again and then realized this was from a satire site. At this time, I really don’t think this was funny.


10 posted on 09/15/2012 3:40:23 AM PDT by CitizenM (Obama - The architect of the decline of the U.S.)
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To: GeronL

Indeed. Where’s the satire?


11 posted on 09/15/2012 6:01:34 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: John Semmens

This one’s a keeper.


12 posted on 09/15/2012 7:52:19 AM PDT by Focault's Pendulum (Obama A man without an American mission.)
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To: John Semmens

This administration provides more than enough fodder for your satire. Those people actually think this way.

Thanks for the ping.


13 posted on 09/15/2012 8:12:55 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

This administration provides more than enough fodder for your satire. Those people actually think this way.

Thanks for the ping.


14 posted on 09/15/2012 8:12:55 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens
Photobucket
15 posted on 09/15/2012 8:25:59 AM PDT by CodeToad (Be Prepared...They Are.)
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To: John Semmens

So true John. Excellent. Thanks for the ping.


16 posted on 09/15/2012 10:29:00 AM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: John Semmens

You’re cheating. You’re just re-writing news reports of what the obamists are really doing and saying.

This has got to be the toughest crowd to satirize when the satire is simply the bald facts. You just repeat what they actually do and say and you call it satire because it is unbelievable. Except that its true.


17 posted on 09/15/2012 10:54:38 AM PDT by marron
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To: John Semmens

Wouldn’t a “Beer Summit” do the trick?


18 posted on 09/15/2012 11:38:44 AM PDT by Mark (Don't argue with my posts. I typed while under sniper fire.)
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To: John Semmens
pawning off news as satire again i see... 8^)
19 posted on 09/15/2012 1:52:34 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: John Semmens
“To us the rape was disgusting, but was it any more disgusting than the sacrilegious video that provoked the attack?” Clinton asked. “Rather than ramping up the cycle of resentment on both sides, perhaps we should consider whether these atrocities offset one another and hit the 'reset button' with our Muslim allies.”

The gifted political satirist must on occasion be willing to press the edge of the "edginess" envelope in order to make the most instructive point.

Congratulations, John Semmens; Hillary deserved/needed this.

.

20 posted on 09/15/2012 9:03:20 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: John Semmens

When satire becomes the real thing. :)


21 posted on 09/15/2012 10:20:24 PM PDT by berdie
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To: John Semmens

John, I don’t think you can match the Obama Administration this week. They have taken self-parody to new heights.


22 posted on 09/15/2012 10:30:11 PM PDT by TChad
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