Skip to comments.Al Gore Becomes a Priest, Says He Will Build an Ark
Posted on 09/17/2012 4:23:48 PM PDT by HollyW
WASHINGTON During an appearance on MSNBCs Hardball with Chris Matthews, Al Gore revealed that prior to divorcing his wife Tipper, he was ordained a Catholic priest. He added that he plans to spend the rest of his life listening to confessions before the impending global warming apocalypse kills everyone on the planet.
A surprised Chris Matthews asked the former vice president why he chose the priesthood.
I cant really explain why, Gore replied. I guess a big part of it is that I really love wearing the priest suit and listening to people tell me their secrets. I first experienced it a few years ago in a very poor South American village. Tipper and I traveled there to convince people that they would die in ten years if they didnt give us money to stop global warming. Since nobody in the village had a dime to spare, I decided to spend the two days I had left to act out a fantasy Id always had to be a priest and listen to confessions.
Mr. Gore paused and then smiled.
Ill tell you, after three or four confessions I was hooked. I mean, I couldnt stop! I must have heard a hundred confessions that first day and two hundred the next. Tipper was so irritated that she went home early.
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I think he’s got it a bit wrong, Algore has become the SIZE of an ark...
Just two questions for weird Al - sinker? Or floater?
I wonder if TN people are still sorry they made GWB president.
If he’s building an ark, then all I can say is, “Bon Voyage!”
Who would have ordained him? As I understand it, you basically need the equivalent, in terms of years, of a master’s degree and that’s before you get a year in the seminary.
And we also know that the former vice-poodle has trouble with celibacy.
He only will need to get one additional ass to complete a pair.
I realize this is satire but Algore is such a nut job, I would be inclined to believe this stuff
Wouldn’t it make more sense if he became a carpenter?
The priest garb helps him get free “local” massages.
His “Chakra” has to have been loosened.
“The priest garb helps him get free local massages.”.
Um, what???? Exactly how does dressing up like a priest get one massages?
This actually has nothing to do with religion. I mean, Im not only not a Catholic, but I dont really even know what those people believe in. I just feel I have been called, by whom I dont know, to hear confessions and to build an ark and save as many people as I can when the world is engulfed by water in ten years. I feel it in the very essence of my being. I feel it in my bones! I feel it! I feel it!
He needs to perform and exorcism on the leaders of the Democrats and then himself.
HAHA! When does this insanity end?
It’s those special “role-playing” massages.
Al has the money, don’t worry.
There are several very small sects that call themselves Catholic in which he could have got himself “ordained.” They even wear something like vestments and cassocks and stuff. Most of them don’t do Confession that way, though.