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President Says He Can't Change Washington from the Inside
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Sep 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/22/2012 12:39:59 AM PDT by John Semmens

In a gaffe that some are calling “Bidenesque,” President Obama sought to divert attention from his broken promises by claiming impotence.

“The most important lesson I've learned is you can't change Washington from the inside,” he told the audience at at a forum hosted by the Spanish-language TV channel Univision. “You can only change it from the outside.”

A nonplussed host inquired, “If you can't change it from inside why are you running for reelection?”

“As frustrating and unrewarding as being the president may be, I feel it is my duty to occupy that chair in order to prevent malevolent forces from taking over the country,” Obama answered. “As we have seen, my opponent has great animus against the 47% who rely on government for their living. Allowing him to be elected would be seen as a validation of the notion that people should be expected to fend for themselves.”

“It's taken us about three generations to get to that 47% level,” the President continued. “That's a lot of progress, but we can't let ourselves be satisfied with only half a loaf. While we can probably never get to 100%, I hope that reaching 98% or 99% might be attained during my lifetime. I'm confident that with another term we can reach the tipping-point where a clear majority is aligned with our program. Once that happens the transformation I envision for America will never be undone.”

In related news, Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney maintained that “Romney's '47%' remarks may effectively disqualify him from serving as president. His disdain for dependency puts him out-of-step with the moral mainstream of our society. Those who rely on government to meet their basic needs shouldn't have to live with the fear that they might be forced to enter the workforce against their will. Romney's made a thinly veiled attack on a way of life that I think voters will soundly reject come November.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/119199-2012-09-21-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-september-23-2012.htm


TOPICS: Government; History; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: dependency; impotence; obama; satire

1 posted on 09/22/2012 12:40:12 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 09/22/2012 12:42:33 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


3 posted on 09/22/2012 12:42:36 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Another in a long line of dumb comments from Barry Obama when he’s speaking off the cuff, proving that he should have a teleprompter screen attached to his chest.


4 posted on 09/22/2012 12:50:39 AM PDT by jerod (Pro-Abortion Gun Control Freaks & Environmental Nuts who hated Capitalism? The Nazi's)
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To: John Semmens

Your best yet, John. You’ve made a seamless transition into serious reporting.


5 posted on 09/22/2012 1:01:56 AM PDT by Former War Criminal (Who am I? Why am I here?)
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To: John Semmens
In a gaffe that some are calling “Bidenesque,”...

LOL!
Thanks for the ping.

6 posted on 09/22/2012 1:30:37 AM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: John Semmens

“Upchuck, Stan!”


7 posted on 09/22/2012 1:31:14 AM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: John Semmens

Zippy never tried to join with Washington, he unconstitutionally installed part of the Chicago mob as his czars and bypasses Congress. His finished statement should sound like “I don’t give a darn about Washington, I completely ignore it.”


8 posted on 09/22/2012 1:58:43 AM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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To: John Semmens
>"Those who rely on government to meet their basic needs shouldn't have to live with the fear that they might be forced to enter the workforce against their will."

True, but not spoken!

Beats Fake butt accurate.

9 posted on 09/22/2012 2:15:41 AM PDT by rawcatslyentist (I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a Barack 0b0tt0my!)
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To: John Semmens

He is just lamenting he can’t legitimately run as an outsider. But he’s doing it anyway. Still running against the “evil and incompetent Bush,” as reincarnated in Romney.


10 posted on 09/22/2012 3:41:32 AM PDT by luvbach1 (Stop the destruction in 2012 or continue the decline)
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To: John Semmens

bump


11 posted on 09/22/2012 5:01:27 AM PDT by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: John Semmens
A nonplussed host inquired, “If you can't change it from inside why are you running for reelection?”

Obama thought he could waltz through this interview and he ended up getting pwned.

12 posted on 09/22/2012 5:02:36 AM PDT by ILS21R (The time is nigh.)
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To: John Semmens
“...President Obama sought to divert attention from his broken promises by claiming impotence.”

***

Now THAT made me giggle.

Thanks again, John, for the ping.

13 posted on 09/22/2012 5:20:02 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

Wow, this one is so close to the truth, it is barely recognizable as satire.


14 posted on 09/22/2012 6:46:42 AM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: exDemMom

I almost expect to see the DUers ranting over this.


15 posted on 09/22/2012 7:33:18 AM PDT by EggsAckley ("There's an Ethiopian in the fuel supply!")
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To: John Semmens

Excellent John. Started my day with a chuckle. Thanks, and thanks for the ping.


16 posted on 09/22/2012 7:59:25 AM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: John Semmens

Excellent, John! “Semi-news” indeed. It rings SO true.


17 posted on 09/22/2012 9:14:24 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: John Semmens

Another fine serving of the inconvenient truth. :)


18 posted on 09/22/2012 10:58:15 AM PDT by moose07 (The truth will out, one day.)
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To: John Semmens

“claiming impotence”

That’s not what Larry Sinclair sez!

(I know. bad joke)


19 posted on 09/22/2012 12:31:07 PM PDT by dynachrome ("Our forefathers didn't bury their guns. They buried those that tried to take them.")
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To: John Semmens
"I'm confident that with another term we can reach the tipping-point where a clear majority is aligned with our program. Once that happens the transformation I envision for America will never be undone."

I suspect this is far closer to the truth than most realize from this satire.....

20 posted on 09/22/2012 1:42:02 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: John Semmens
“As frustrating and unrewarding as being the president may be, I feel it is my duty to occupy that chair ...

As others have pointed out, truly a great one John! I particularly liked this line combining 'occupy' and 'chair'! LOL

21 posted on 09/23/2012 4:53:41 AM PDT by Servant of the Cross (the Truth will set you free)
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To: John Semmens

LOL! You almost got me because it sounds SO plausible!!


22 posted on 09/23/2012 2:55:23 PM PDT by SuziQ
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