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Voters Say Free Stuff Better than Freedom
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 Sep 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/28/2012 9:55:45 PM PDT by John Semmens

Despite polling data indicating that over 60% of those surveyed see GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney's concern about Americans becoming too dependent on government as valid, most still say they will vote to reelect Obama.

“As a general proposition, it might be a bad thing for people to become too dependent on the government,” said one poll respondent. “But this whole freedom thing is kind of abstract compared to actually getting stuff for free. I mean, take the 10 million free phones the government has given out. A phone is something I can hold in my hand. I can use it to call my friends, play video games, download tunes—you know, have fun.”

“Freedom might have been important to people when they were fighting taxation without representation in 1776, but what's that to me here and now?” asked another poll respondent. “I don't have to pay taxes, but I still get to vote. My vote counts just as much as the sap who has to work. Shouldn't I use it to keep the free stuff coming?”

In related news, Stephanie Cutter, deputy campaign manager for President Barack Obama's 2012 reelection effort bragged that “Democrats have locked up the women's vote. We're giving them free birth control and free cell phones—two items of critical importance to the modern woman. The Republicans offer what—lower taxes, fewer regulations? Even if we were to concede that these are desirable—which we don't—they'd provide equal benefits for men. Why should any woman vote for that?”

If you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/119701-2012-09-28-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-september-30-2012.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: democrats; dependency; freeloaders; satire
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1 posted on 09/28/2012 9:55:51 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Bump


2 posted on 09/28/2012 9:56:29 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar (The pundits have forgotten the 2010 elections.)
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


3 posted on 09/28/2012 9:58:01 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Dear old Dad always said, “Once the parasites outnumber the hosts, it’s all over. The Democrats win.”


4 posted on 09/28/2012 10:03:39 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: John Semmens

Dude, again, that is too close to the truth. :p


5 posted on 09/28/2012 10:08:18 PM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: John Semmens

John, have you seen the Obamaphone screamer video yet?

You’re actually reporting about something that’s NOT satire.


6 posted on 09/28/2012 10:11:57 PM PDT by Old Sarge (We are now officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet)
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To: Old Sarge

Have a link?


7 posted on 09/28/2012 10:14:21 PM PDT by wastedyears (The First Law of Heavy Metal: Not all metal is satanic.)
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To: John Semmens

Missing satire alert. This one is just too true...

Good one, John!


8 posted on 09/28/2012 10:14:54 PM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: John Semmens
“Freedom might have been important to people when they were fighting taxation without representation in 1776, but what's that to me here and now?” asked another poll respondent. “I don't have to pay taxes, but I still get to vote. My vote counts just as much as the sap who has to work.

Sooo close to reality, it is terrfying........

9 posted on 09/28/2012 10:15:44 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: John Semmens

“It’s easier being a liberal than a conservative,” Rush Limbaugh.


10 posted on 09/28/2012 10:16:20 PM PDT by ConservativeStatement (Obama "acted stupidly.")
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To: John Semmens

ha ha, pretty good.


11 posted on 09/28/2012 10:19:07 PM PDT by MarMema (eh.)
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To: John Semmens

Everyone needs a copy of The Road Warrior and Thunderdome. Not for entertainment, but as a planning guide.

Because it’s coming fast.


12 posted on 09/28/2012 10:22:56 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: John Semmens

This sounds like one of those “man on the street” interviews where the people give all kinds of goofy answers that really shows what they are thinking, lol.

I know, I know it’s satire, or maybe not.


13 posted on 09/28/2012 10:30:57 PM PDT by berdie
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To: Norm Lenhart

Why do you think the CDC came out last year and told people to prepare for a zombie apocalypse?

You don’t think its because they actually believe in zombies do you?


14 posted on 09/28/2012 10:36:01 PM PDT by Carbonsteel
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To: Carbonsteel

People think I am kidding when I recommend the Max Brooks (Yup, Mel’s kid) Zombie Survival Guide. I’m not. Simply replace Zombie with feral liberal and it’s a very good and informative book/books.


15 posted on 09/28/2012 10:40:06 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: John Semmens

What makes you beleive this is satire??


16 posted on 09/28/2012 11:02:01 PM PDT by SECURE AMERICA (Where can I sign up for the New American Revolution and the Crusades 2012?)
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To: wastedyears
The Obamaphone Lady

See it before YouTubeGoogle takes it down...

17 posted on 09/28/2012 11:04:51 PM PDT by Old Sarge (We are now officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet)
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To: John Semmens
Reminded me of this old Onion piece:

Funyuns Still Outselling Responsibilityuns

True as it ever was.

18 posted on 09/29/2012 12:06:43 AM PDT by TChad
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To: John Semmens
May be satire, but there is always a background of truth in Semmen's articles.

Give the "gimmes" what they want and they will always expect more. Food Stamps not enough? Welfare not enough? Free land-line phone service not enough. Cell phones not enough? Paying no income taxes not enough? Political correctness not enough?

What will be enough for you deadbeats? A new flat screen? A new car? A new couch so you can sit on it day after day watching the Kardashians? What's it going to take to get your lazy asses out and contribute to our society?

19 posted on 09/29/2012 12:31:22 AM PDT by A Navy Vet (An Oath is Forever)
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To: John Semmens

John, in a saner world this would be considered cutting satire. Now, unfortunately, it reads like any other daily byline of liberal politics.


20 posted on 09/29/2012 2:37:22 AM PDT by TADSLOS (Conservatism didn't magically show up in Romney's heart in 2012. You can't force what isn't in you.)
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