Skip to comments.(Vanity) The Gospel of Jussein 14:13-21 (The Seating of the Five Thousand)
Posted on 09/30/2012 6:52:00 PM PDT by grey_whiskers
Jussein Seats the Five Thousand
13 When Jussein heard what had happened in Benghazi, he withdrew by boat privately to Las Vegas. Hearing of this, the press followed him on foot from Manhattan. 14 When Jussein landed and heard of a large crowd in Milwaukee, he had compassion on them and Death Paneled their sick.
15 As evening approached, the MSM presstitutes came to him and said, This is a remote place, and its already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and order pizza with their EBT cards on their Obamaphones.
16 Jussein replied, They do not need to go away. You give them high paying green jobs instead.
17 We have here only scraps of hope and change, they answered.
18 Bring them here to me, he said. 19 And they did; and the Press numbered the people at 18,000. Then Jussein directed the people to sit in the Pavillion. Taking the hopey and the changey and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks unto himself for his own great glory and broke the story of economic recovery. This he gave to the presstitutes, and the presstitutes gave the story to the people. 20 They all gazed upon Obama and were satisfied, and the presstitutes picked up twelve basketfuls of absentee ballots that were left over.
(this verse is omitted from the more reliable authorities such as CNN and MSNBC) 21a The number of those who were seated was about five thousand men, besides women and children, except that when the numbers were counted there were some eighteen thousand followers, not including the presstitutes. Thus it was that the tender mercies of Jussein miraculously multiplied the crowd with hope and change.
Praise be to Barack, mmm, mmm, mmm!
Birds have cages, and the cages have liners, but Teh One has nowhere left to spread his crap *PING*.
I like it.
Although, why “Jussein”?
that was great! More please!
This is great.
Wow that was good. Need to get that out there for more to see than just us FReepers. Maybe get someone to type it up nicely against a backdrop of obamaites carting off the old and sick and put it on youtube. Where it would get wider exposure
A very effective weapon against iberals is ridicule.
agreed, this was a much-needed laugh for our household just now, w/orders to forward. You got all the details right down to red letters and spare hope and change — great work.
Actually, if you pronounce the "J" with the Spanish pronunciation,you would have it (and be multicultural too...)