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NO FAT CHICKS! (Hump-Day Humor, etc)
Reaganite Republican ^ | October 3, 2012 | Reaganite Republican

Posted on 10/03/2012 5:00:29 AM PDT by Reaganite Republican




More (politically incorrect/NSFW/salty language) at Reaganite Republican...

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h/t IAoH



TOPICS: Arts/Photography; Chit/Chat; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: funny; humor; jokes; toons

1 posted on 10/03/2012 5:00:35 AM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: AdvisorB; ken5050; sten

*** PING ***


2 posted on 10/03/2012 5:01:27 AM PDT by Reaganite Republican
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To: Reaganite Republican

THESE REALLY WORK!!
AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

THOUGHT for the day:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY’RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

SOME ADDITIONAL ADVICE:
NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A LAXATIVE AND SLEEPING PILLS ON THE SAME NIGHT


“The more people I meet....
the more I like my dog. “


3 posted on 10/03/2012 5:13:40 AM PDT by csmusaret (I will give Obama credit for one thing- he is living proof that familiarity breeds contempt.)
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To: Reaganite Republican

4 posted on 10/03/2012 5:38:43 AM PDT by Bon mots (Abu Ghraib: 47 Times on the front page of the NY Times | Benghazi: 2 Times)
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To: Reaganite Republican
Who said there were no fat chicks


5 posted on 10/03/2012 5:45:30 AM PDT by HangnJudge
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To: Bon mots

Two out’a three ain’t bad!


6 posted on 10/03/2012 6:57:40 AM PDT by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed &water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS, NOW & FOREVER!)
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