Skip to comments."Liar, Liar" Debate Fantasy
Posted on 10/03/2012 8:10:39 AM PDT by Guido2012
I have this debate fantasy that Obama would get hit by some cosmic event, such as Jim Carrey experienced in the movie Liar,Liarand that it happens just after he and Romney take the stage in the debates. You may remember that in the movie, Jim Carrey, a lawyer and an inveterate liar, is suddenly possessed by a spirit of truthfulness on the eve of an important trial, all because of a wish made by his son. He cannot tell a lie even though he desperately wants to do so. If Obama were similarly struck as the debates started, it would be comically delightful to actually hear the truth coming out of his mouth for once, and neither he nor the pro-Obama debate moderator could do anything about it. It might sound something like this:
(Excerpt) Read more at setourchildrenfree.com ...
Moderator: (First softball question) President Obama, you inherited a terrible economy from George Bush, and many Republicans have been critical of you for not turning it around. But given the limitations of working with a partisan Congress, do you think we would have been much further down the road to recovery if your policies had been adopted?
Obama: Well, actually uh we did have a Democrat Congress the first two years and we did get everything we wanted. It juuussstt didnt work ah could I get a glass of water up here. I seem to be having trouble with my throat.
Moderator: (Trying to help) But you were concentrating on healthcare legislation, and the economy was a lot worse than you thought, right?
Obama: Actually, neither me nor anyone on my staff knows diddly about economics. Weve only worked at college and government jobs (hack, hack) whats in this water anyway uh, I what I really mean to say is er what was the question again?
Moderator: (Not believing what hes hearing) Yes, but what about the $800 billion Stimulus Bill. That was what saved the economy from a depression, and saved the car companies and the banks, and created 4 million shovel-ready jobs, if you recall sir. Wouldnt it have been much worse without your brilliant bailouts?
Obama: Are you serious? That money went to my stash to share with the teachers and auto workers unions, and my buddies at Goldman Sachs and Solyndra. How am I supposed to get re-elected if I dont take care of my peeps? Somebody help me please Umm can we go to another question?
Moderator: (Now panicking) Look, this economy isnt your fault, OK! You saved our country from financial calamity. Now stop being so modest. As a follow-up question, let me ask how you managed to get the unemployment rate down during the past two years from 11% to barely 8%?
Romney: Hey, am I going to get any questions?
Moderator: Shut up, Mitt!
Obama: Well, ah those unemployment numbers theyre really jury-rigged you know you see, the real rate is about 20%. The only reason its 8% is aahh because there are so many fewer people in the workforce than there were a couple years ago, not because more people are working. The truth is umh this is the lowest percentage of people working since the Great Depression, and man, I need a break. Can we take a break?
Moderator: (Showing his disgust) Weve got 70 million people watching on live TV all over the nation. So no, we cant take a break. Now just answer the question!
Obama: Im doing the best I can.
Moderator: (Trying to save him) Well, if the rich would just pay their fair share, dont you think it would stimulate the economy?
Romney: Id like to take a crack at that question.
Romney: You see, if you punish small business by overtaxing them, then
Moderator: Mr. President, do you have a response?
Romney: I havent finished
Moderator: Ill be the judge of when youre finished. Go ahead Mr. President?
Obama: Well, er taxing the rich wont help the economy at all. I just said that because Karl Marx and I think its a matter of fairness and social justice, and we should redistribute their money to everyone else. And and uh, lets not just stop here, we owe it to those poor Muslim countries to spread the wealth around. And uh yeah,while were at it lets levy a carbon tax on all of us rich, evil nations who pollute the planet, and give up our guns and our sovereignty to the U.N., and ah
Moderator: Thank you, Mr. President.
Obama: But Im not done.
Moderator: Yes you are. Lets move on to social issues. Mr. President, you claim to be a Christian, yet you have received unjust criticism from some quarters about your position on moral issues such as gay marriage, abortion, and Israel. Could you explain?
Romney: Look, Ive barely had a chance to
Moderator: When I want you to open your big fat Mormon pie hole, Ill slap you upside your perfect hair, and wipe the gel off on your $90 shirt. Youre being a Bain in the butt. Hey, thats funny. Get it a Bain in the
Obama: Dude, you rock. That was so awesome. As for my position on those issues, I uh believe with all my heart er that the right to marry is universal to all Gods creatures straights, gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, transgenders, and .. yeah, and why stop there why not animals too its all good! And Mitt, Im feelin you bro with that polygamy stuff the Mormons do, you know
Romney: Thats ancient history.
Obama: Thats whats wrong with you conservatives, man. You cant live in the past, this is 2016.
Moderator: I know you meant 2012.
Obama: Yea, right all 57 states in every time zone recognize it.
Moderator: Lets move on, about abortion and Israel ?
Obama: Obamacare will pay for all the abortionscause we cant afford to have all these people in our health care system, and the death panels will take care of them old folks on the other end. As for that racist Israel, they can kiss my .
Moderator: I think were done here.
Romney: But the debate is supposed to last
Moderator: Well take a commercial break, and be back in 45 minutes
.. Wheres my Vallium? Is this microphone on
BTW, when are the SEP jobs numbers coming out?
If he would be struck by some “cosmic event” where he could only speak the truth, he would be dumbstruck. It would be a one sided debate with Romney doing all of the talking.
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