Skip to comments.Next Debate - President Obama Will Win with the Help of TOTUS.
Posted on 10/06/2012 11:53:04 AM PDT by DanMiller
TOTUS will overcome all potential difficulties.
Due to President Obama's less than exemplary performance at the Wednesday night debate, serious concerns have been raised that not providing him even one single teleprompter was unfair. It was unfair, particularly in view of his great reliance on TOTUS. The truth is that President Obama needs a teleprompter at all times, even during his solitary morning meditations on the throne in the family bathroom. Governor Romney, on the other hand, neither needs nor uses one for any purpose. Their styles are very different and for the debate to have favored Governor Romney's style as grossly as it did was not only racist but otherwise harmful to the nation. Depriving President Obama of this presidential necessity was obviously due to a right-wing conspiracy and cannot be permitted again. The results were as they wanted them to be, a draw or at best an uncertain victory for President Obama.
It is true that President Obama has occasionally been misled by teleprompters, but as my confidential source, the Very Honorable I.M. Totus, patiently explained, those were inferior teleprompters maliciously left at the White House by President Obama's predecessor. Indeed, one of them could not even manage to function adequately at a family dinner back in 2009.
Video here. Please watch; it's great
Nevertheless, Mr. Totus affirmed that with a well vetted, loyal and experienced TOTUS such as himself and an even modestly competent operator (indeed, anyone other than DNC Chairperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz), President Obama will do far better in the next debate. Unlike on Wednesday evening, it will not be necessary for him to think on his feet. Nor will he have an opportunity to look down at them, see his reflection in the shine on his shoes and be mesmerized by it. Instead, he will simply gaze with confidence upon TOTUS, comfortable in the knowledge that no matter how hazardous the situation may become TOTUS will rescue him from it.
President Obama is not accustomed to thinking -- even while standing around waiting for some fool to finish jabbering -- and has lots of other people to do it for him. During the next debate, the operator and TOTUS will listen to the questions and take just a little bit of time to mull over the best possible answers. President Obama knows very well how to mumble while stalling for time and will easily utter something gracious but innocuous -- "Thank you very much for that question. I had been hoping it would be asked during this highly important debate on . . . .uh . . . ." By then, TOTUS will have the best possible answer ready, flash what the debate is about on the screen so that President Obama can finish his delaying sentence, and then provide the answer to the question for President Obama to read, with great feeling, spontaneity and sincerity. If the question cannot be answered helpfully to his campaign, a suitable answer to some other question will be provided. That will work perfectly, just as it has in the past, because the lack of substance and relevance of the answer will be hidden in the brilliant yet comforting afterglow of the way in which it was phrased.
Mr. Totus further explained that if he were not able to assist President Obama in this manner, the cover picture even for Mother Jones (a right-wing but nevertheless remarkably neutral observer of the political scene) may be a repeat of the far right-wing New Yorker cover scheduled for October 15th.
That cannot be permitted. It would destroy President Obama's national and international stature as a world leader, as well as that of the great nation he has led so brilliantly until now and must continue to lead to her glorious destiny.
I almost hope they let him use one. Romney can then ridicule his skinny, Marxist a$$!
” I almost hope they let him use one. Romney can then ridicule his skinny, Marxist a$$!”
O might be so paranoid that he actually uses one : )
Romney was talking in a foreign language.. all that stuff about what is right with America and how to save Her from the current crises.
Hey! that's a foreign language to the Obamas. Say what? What's right with America? How to save America without transforming the b****? Speak the Obamas' language, Mr. Romney!
Make the debate about what is wrong with America.
(I've seen those old videos.. Obama really shines hurling insults and threats against America.)
I bet Obama gets a pair of those contact lenses like they used in Mission Impossible, of which there is a possibility of them actually being possible. Sometimes fiction is fact in some places.
Or someone reading him lines though an ocular implant.
Round One, Romney -- Competitors, to your corners...
If Romney happened to have an infirmity such as a broken leg, and wasn’t able to walk or stand, I’m sure no one would object if he used crutches, and was allowed to sit during the debate.
I think the same standard should apply to King Barry, except in his case, his infirmity is the inability to think or speak coherently. In the interest of fairness, he should be allowed to use crutches appropriate to his particular infirmity.
They should let him use one of them magic eight balls.
Didn’t Bill Buck just write an article complaining about Romney “cheating” because he pulled notes/a handkerchief out of his pocket? He said the tradition was “no outside sources were allowed” in the Presidential Debates.
So, this must include teleprompters also.
Obama is naked and helpless.
“Governor Romney, on the other hand, neither needs nor uses one for any purpose.”
I believe that applies to Mrs. Romney as well. Around the time of the GOP Convention, my BIL helped organize an event where Ann Romney and three or four other power players were featured speakers. The others referred to their notes. When it was Ann’s turn, she went to the podium without any notes, and hers was the best speech, by far.
I wonder if he lays one down on the floor by the prayer rug so he can see it with his butt in the air.
Rush Limbaugh frequently opens his show with the statement that one half of is brain is tied behind his back in order to be fair.
Maybe Romney should open his next debate with something like his teleprompter is disconnected behind his back in order to be fair....
And let obumbler have his.
Imagine trying to go through all of the pages on a teleprompter trying to find the right answer to someone who has the mental agility of Romney, spitting out facts and Constitutional questions like a machine gun.
The answers might be there, but imagine obumblers ...uh uh uh.....uh while he is trying to find them.
It would be a gas....
Great notes! No wonder President Obama did so well.