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President Pledges He Will Save Big Bird
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Oct 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/13/2012 12:35:38 PM PDT by John Semmens

Gloating over what they consider a “colossal blunder,” the Obama campaign has launched a series of ads promising that Obama will save the Sesame Street character from “extinction” at the hands of the GOP.

Obama Campaign spokesperson, Jennifer Psaki boasted that “the cruel side of Governor Romney is now on display for every voter with school-aged children to see. The idea that he would even consider defunding this American icon is the unkindest cut of all. We won't let voters forget it.”

Whether Big Bird or Sesame Street would face extinction without federal subsidies seems dubious. The Sesame Street operation grossed over $100 million last year and has nearly $300 million in assets on the company's books. Merchandise sales, copyright licensing fees, and corporate sponsorships account for 90% of their revenues. Federal subsidies make up less than 10% of total revenues. Ironically, at a salary of over $300,000, the actor who plays Big Bird falls in the group the Obama Administration says needs to pay higher taxes.

A lawyer for Sesame Street has requested that the Obama Campaign refrain from using its characters in its ads. Psaki acknowledged receipt of the complaint, but declined to confirm the campaign would comply with the request. “If the President feels he needs to use these characters to make his point he will continue to use them,” Psaki asserted. “After all, the needs of the nation surely override this organization's hope to make a profit. Besides, it is by no means clear who owns the rights to these characters. If the government subsidizes Sesame Street why shouldn't it control how the benefits of that subsidy are dispersed?”

Obama campaign adviser Robert Gibbs seconded Psaki's take. “The fact of the matter is that what the President says or does about anything takes precedence over what anybody else has to say or do,” Gibbs argued. “He represents all Americans. As such, whatever he determines is right for the country supersedes the private interests of any other individual or organization.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/120635-2012-10-12-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-october-14-2012.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bigbird; copyright; obama; satire

1 posted on 10/13/2012 12:35:49 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The character will not be extinct - commercial tv will snap it up ... IF it is really that popular. How would we know - PBS is never subjected to ratings.

This is beautiful - shows exactly what obungler gives priority and his propensity to double down.


2 posted on 10/13/2012 12:39:48 PM PDT by Let's Roll (Save the world's best healthcare - REPEAL, DEFUND Obamacare!)
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To: John Semmens

If Barry wants the bird, let’s give it to him on November 6th! Vote!


3 posted on 10/13/2012 12:40:13 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Sorry Algore. It was attitude, NOT altitude.)
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To: John Semmens

4/5 times I glimpse a headline from one of these Semi-Satire articles I initially think it’s real until I see the source.


4 posted on 10/13/2012 12:41:24 PM PDT by Utmost Certainty (Our Enemy, the State)
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To: John Semmens
He scored his costume early.


5 posted on 10/13/2012 12:41:26 PM PDT by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: John Semmens

Maybe Chic-fil-a could sell a Big Bird Sandwich as a fund raiser.


6 posted on 10/13/2012 12:47:41 PM PDT by GregoTX (Federalist)
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To: John Semmens

My gosh. Big Bird. This president continues to bring this election to the level of a 6th grade student body president race. He degrades the whole country by focusing on this. Freak.


7 posted on 10/13/2012 12:48:00 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam
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To: John Semmens

If Romney the meanie kills Big Bird .... I’m gonna be sooooo mad !


8 posted on 10/13/2012 12:50:29 PM PDT by layman (Card Carrying Infidel)
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To: John Semmens

John....You’re left the planet....This is NOT satire.


9 posted on 10/13/2012 12:51:32 PM PDT by Sacajaweau (r)
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To: TheOldLady

I thought you put the blast on that bird?


10 posted on 10/13/2012 12:52:01 PM PDT by humblegunner
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To: John Semmens
If the government subsidizes Sesame Street why shouldn't it control how the benefits of that subsidy are dispersed?”

Obama makes a slave of Big Bird!

11 posted on 10/13/2012 12:52:52 PM PDT by RGSpincich
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To: layman
I'm sooooo afraid that Big Bird is going to turn into a crow....and that Obama will have to eat him....

Boy that would make my day.

12 posted on 10/13/2012 12:54:17 PM PDT by Sacajaweau (r)
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To: John Semmens

This bunch is getting harder and harder to parody. It’s a good thing you’re up to the job, John. I’m still chuckling at that Napalitano one.


13 posted on 10/13/2012 12:58:54 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Obama considers the Third World morally superior to the United States.)
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To: MayflowerMadam
My gosh. Big Bird. This president continues to bring this election to the level of a 6th grade student body president race. He degrades the whole country by focusing on this. Freak.

That was my thought also. Worse than that, Big Bird was originally mentioned by Romney during the debate when all he said was "I like Big Bird but" when he proposed cutting government funding to PBS.

No mention of Jim Lehrer by Obama. Is he not worried about Lehrer? Obama can't be original. He's still using Romney's one line from the debate and it appears that the government funding PBS is Obama's primary topic in his campaign.

14 posted on 10/13/2012 1:00:13 PM PDT by tsowellfan
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To: John Semmens

Big Bird is getting quite old. I’m thinking he wants a nice gender-friendly retirement place in Hawaii....

(You’re shooting fish in a barrel with this guy)


15 posted on 10/13/2012 1:02:20 PM PDT by Yaelle
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To: John Semmens
Whether Big Bird or Sesame Street would face extinction without federal subsidies seems dubious. The Sesame Street operation grossed over $100 million last year and has nearly $300 million in assets on the company's books. Merchandise sales, copyright licensing fees, and corporate sponsorships account for 90% of their revenues. Federal subsidies make up less than 10% of total revenues. Ironically, at a salary of over $300,000, the actor who plays Big Bird falls in the group the Obama Administration says needs to pay higher taxes.

A lawyer for Sesame Street has requested that the Obama Campaign refrain from using its characters in its ads. Psaki acknowledged receipt of the complaint, but declined to confirm the campaign would comply with the request. “If the President feels he needs to use these characters to make his point he will continue to use them,” Psaki asserted. “After all, the needs of the nation surely override this organization's hope to make a profit. Besides, it is by no means clear who owns the rights to these characters. If the government subsidizes Sesame Street why shouldn't it control how the benefits of that subsidy are dispersed?”

Brilliant satire.

16 posted on 10/13/2012 1:04:33 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: John Semmens

Ha... this one not as convincing as others... but still funny...


17 posted on 10/13/2012 1:05:38 PM PDT by latina4dubya ( self-proclaimed tequila snob)
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To: humblegunner

‘Course I did! It’s all shot, plucked, grilled and ate up!

The one the prexy is going to “save” must be an imposter. Probably gay as hell, too.


18 posted on 10/13/2012 1:08:00 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: John Semmens

19 posted on 10/13/2012 1:10:32 PM PDT by tsowellfan
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To: John Semmens

Too bad he didn’t save the ambassador


20 posted on 10/13/2012 1:18:18 PM PDT by jersey117
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To: John Semmens
O will Save BIG BIRD by giving us THE BIRD!
21 posted on 10/13/2012 1:19:10 PM PDT by ExCTCitizen (Yes, Obama, I had help with my business. MY CUSTOMERS!)
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To: TheOldLady
‘Course I did! It’s all shot, plucked, grilled and ate up!

Why, that sounds positively Southren!

22 posted on 10/13/2012 1:26:05 PM PDT by humblegunner
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To: Utmost Certainty

it sure got me......I was livid.....

I’m glad it’s only satire, but you all know it’s what he really thinks....


23 posted on 10/13/2012 1:56:58 PM PDT by The Wizard (Madam President is my President now and in the future)
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To: John Semmens
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

"Cookie, are we at the right Party??"

24 posted on 10/13/2012 2:57:48 PM PDT by mikrofon (Featuring Paul Ryan as "The Count")
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To: humblegunner
Why, that sounds positively Southren!

I aspire. :)

25 posted on 10/13/2012 7:11:51 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: MayflowerMadam

Watching SNL tonight, an Obama commercial comes up, to wit... “Bernie Madoff, Ken Lay (Corzine and Maxine Waters not mentioned)... and who does Romney attack? Big Bird!”. I swear I thought at first it was an SNL parody, but it had real commercials before and after, and claimed to be from Obama for America, I think. C’mon, was this really from the Obama campaign? It’s so hard to tell whether I’m supposed to laugh at Obama campaign spots.


26 posted on 10/13/2012 10:09:58 PM PDT by Rainier1789 (My Constitution has a 2nd and 10th Amendment)
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To: John Semmens
Here is a 90 second video that shuts them up: Big Bird Wants Your Tax Dollars
27 posted on 10/16/2012 12:05:06 PM PDT by Rebel_Ace (Tags?!? Tags?!? We don' neeeed no stinkin' Tags!)
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