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Obama Campaign Buoyed by Welfare Gains
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 Oct 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/20/2012 12:26:24 PM PDT by John Semmens

A report just issued by the Congressional Research Service reveals that federal government outlays for means-tested welfare programs have surged by more than 30% over the last four years and now top the trillion dollars per year level. Obama campaign adviser David Axelrod called this “very encouraging news.”

“The entire Republican campaign is premised on the idea that only 47% of the population is dependent on subsidies from the government,” Axelrod observed. “They think that they can count on the productive 53% to carry the day for them. However, this report indicates that their constituency may be smaller than they think.”

“Keep in mind that this trillion dollars of federal spending on welfare doesn’t include non-means-tested hand outs to favored constituencies like green energy corporations and the unions,” Axelrod added. “On top of this there are also state and local government programs distributing benefits to reliably Democratic voting blocs. If everyone votes their pocketbooks a vital break-point may have been passed ensuring that the President’s envisioned transformation for this country can never be undone.”

Axelrod brushed off polls that seem to be trending against Obama. “We’re thinking that the same people who don’t want to admit they’ll be voting for more hand-outs to themselves to pollsters will, in the privacy of the voting booth, pull the lever for the Democratic ticket. That’s also why election day exit polls will differ from the official vote tallies, just like they did in the recent Venezuelan election.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2012/10/20/president-humiliates-jon-stewart/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: democrats; election; parasites; satire

1 posted on 10/20/2012 12:26:32 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

hahaha! i am getting so much better at this... only took me to the second line to realize...


2 posted on 10/20/2012 12:28:52 PM PDT by latina4dubya ( self-proclaimed tequila snob)
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To: John Semmens

Axelrod needs to leave with Bath House Barry.


3 posted on 10/20/2012 12:29:51 PM PDT by Internet Walnut
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To: Internet Walnut

Axelrod looks just like the man in the van with a lost puppy or the uncle down the street that plays with the neighbor kids


4 posted on 10/20/2012 12:34:33 PM PDT by al baby (“If Barack Obama has a Harvard law degree, he didn’t earn that. Somebody else made that happen.”)
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To: John Semmens

John, John, John, heh; I had to re-read the headline/copy 2x. It had my blood boiling.


5 posted on 10/20/2012 12:35:41 PM PDT by carriage_hill (The 0bummer Penguin & Bidet Joker: We played this country like a harp from hell.)
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To: John Semmens

bump


6 posted on 10/20/2012 12:46:28 PM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: John Semmens

LOL! It still amazes me how hard it is to separate political satire from reality. In this country, they are now the same thing.


7 posted on 10/20/2012 12:49:44 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (This is America! Being dead is no excuse not to vote!!!)
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