Skip to comments.DUmmie FUnnies 10-26-12 ("Your First Time": DUmmies dig on Dunham)
Posted on 10/26/2012 9:36:33 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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Believe me, when I was a young bad-boy stallion, making sure she got lots of contraception was ALWAYS on the front of the mind! I paid for it myself. I don't want to get stuck with the tattooed lady for 18 years.
No one has addressed the real question.
Would laz hit it?
Is it me, or does she look A LOT like Chris Matthews around the eyes and mouth?
He’s Laz. He’d hit it like a dinosaur-killing asteroid.
Is that Fred Savage? I was ‘wonder’ing what he was doing these days. Playing some ugly chick on an HBO show, huh?
No wonder she got a thrill up her leg.
With this episode the Obama campaign has jumped the slut.
Oh dear Lord! Our poor children. What is happening to our society?
if you’re a little woman you won’t do it with anybody.
You’ll do it with everybody
Oops. I meant LIBERAL womyn.
So, let me get thtis straight:
Obama just admitted that voting for him for the first time, is just like getting screwed for the first time.
And that, for most women, is a little painful, definitely unsatisfying, and usually ends in a bloody mess.
Gloria Allred: ... and you post on Free Republic?
Lazamataz: I do.
Gloria Allred: And would it be fair to say that you post the phrase "I'd hit it" from time to time.
Lazamataz: That would be a fair characterization.
Gloria Allred: .... and you have posted it to pictures of Helen Thomas?
Lazamataz: I have.
Gloria Allred: KNOWING that Helen Thomas is 178 years of age....
Lazamataz: She's my fantasy.
Gloria Allred: I see. What else would you 'hit'? (Allred wrinkles her nose)
Lazamataz: Barney the Dinosaur, the Frito Bandito, anyone Swedish, including the little jelly Swedish Fish candies...
Gloria Allred: We get the picture. Would it be fair to say you would hit anything even slightly concave?
Lazamataz: I'd hit a concave lens.
Gloria Allred: Yet you will NOT hit my client.
Lazamataz: No ma'am.
Gloria Allred: And why not?
Lazamataz: Too repulsive. Lesbian. Wants to vote for Obama.
Dunham: (sobbing audibly)
Lazamataz: Isn't that discrimination????!?
Gloria Allred: Why yes, ma'am, I guess it is.
Observers in court: (begin to murmer)
Gloria Allred: So YOU, by your OWN ADMISSION, *ADMIT* you are WITHHOLDING YOUR HIT, against the LAWS of the United States, and in full contravention of all that is right and holy!!!
Observers in court: (begin murmuring loudly) (occasional phrases of "That's wrong," and "Guilty" can be heard)
Judge: (banging gavel) Order! This court will come to order!
Lazamataz: Ma'am, I'm sorry. It may be wrong -- even illegal -- to withhold a Laz hit, but...I cannot bring myself to do it....
Observers in court (erupt with angry cries) "KILL HIM!" "LOCK HIM UP!" "WHAT A CREEP!"
Judge: (banging gavel harder) Baliff! Escort these witnesses out! I WILL HAVE ORDER!!!!
(Roll credits, cue Perry Mason music)
You may have left a word out of that line...
..but I hope not.
Laz's Counsel: Objection. Relevancy.
Gloria Allred: I'll rephrase. You have answered you would not hit a repulsive lesbian who's voting for 0bama. Would you hit a repulsive non-lesbian who not only is voting for 0bama but has worn through 14 pairs of 0bama knee-pads?
Laz's Counsel: Objection. Still irrelevant.
Judge: Sustained. But I'm still going to allow the question, because I think FRee Republic needs to know just how depraved Laz is.
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