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To: Lazamataz

Gloria Allred lines up Laz's October Surprise.

55 posted on 10/26/2012 1:13:28 PM PDT by FredZarguna (Can he even count to zero?)
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To: FredZarguna
Gloria Allred: For the record, what is your screen name?

Lazamataz: Lazamataz.

Gloria Allred: ... and you post on Free Republic?

Lazamataz: I do.

Gloria Allred: And would it be fair to say that you post the phrase "I'd hit it" from time to time.

Lazamataz: That would be a fair characterization.

Gloria Allred: .... and you have posted it to pictures of Helen Thomas?

Lazamataz: I have.

Gloria Allred: KNOWING that Helen Thomas is 178 years of age....

Lazamataz: She's my fantasy.

Gloria Allred: I see. What else would you 'hit'? (Allred wrinkles her nose)

Lazamataz: Barney the Dinosaur, the Frito Bandito, anyone Swedish, including the little jelly Swedish Fish candies...

Gloria Allred: We get the picture. Would it be fair to say you would hit anything even slightly concave?

Lazamataz: I'd hit a concave lens.

Gloria Allred: Yet you will NOT hit my client.

Lazamataz: No ma'am.

Gloria Allred: And why not?

Lazamataz: Too repulsive. Lesbian. Wants to vote for Obama.

Dunham: (sobbing audibly)

Lazamataz: Isn't that discrimination????!?

Gloria Allred: Why yes, ma'am, I guess it is.

Observers in court: (begin to murmer)

Gloria Allred: So YOU, by your OWN ADMISSION, *ADMIT* you are WITHHOLDING YOUR HIT, against the LAWS of the United States, and in full contravention of all that is right and holy!!!

Observers in court: (begin murmuring loudly) (occasional phrases of "That's wrong," and "Guilty" can be heard)

Judge: (banging gavel) Order! This court will come to order!

Lazamataz: Ma'am, I'm sorry. It may be wrong -- even illegal -- to withhold a Laz hit, but...I cannot bring myself to do it....

Observers in court (erupt with angry cries) "KILL HIM!" "LOCK HIM UP!" "WHAT A CREEP!"

Judge: (banging gavel harder) Baliff! Escort these witnesses out! I WILL HAVE ORDER!!!!

(Roll credits, cue Perry Mason music)

58 posted on 10/26/2012 1:37:45 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: FredZarguna


83 posted on 10/26/2012 4:51:21 PM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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