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'I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed': retired naval officer's email to children in full
The UK Telegraph ^ | Nov 18, 2012

Posted on 11/18/2012 6:52:14 AM PST by KeyLargo

'I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed': retired naval officer's email to children in full

This is the full email that retired Royal Navy officer Nick Crews sent to his son and two daughters in February expressing his and his wife's disappointment in them.

2:31PM GMT 18 Nov 2012

Dear All Three

With last evening's crop of whinges and tidings of more rotten news for which you seem to treat your mother like a cess-pit, I feel it is time to come off my perch.

It is obvious that none of you has the faintest notion of the bitter disappointment each of you has in your own way dished out to us. We are seeing the miserable death throes of the fourth of your collective marriages at the same time we see the advent of a fifth.

We are constantly regaled with chapter and verse of the happy, successful lives of the families of our friends and relatives and being asked of news of our own children and grandchildren. I wonder if you realise how we feel — we have nothing to say which reflects any credit on you or us. We don't ask for your sympathy or understanding — Mum and I have been used to taking our own misfortunes on the chin, and making our own effort to bash our little paths through life without being a burden to others. Having done our best — probably misguidedly — to provide for our children, we naturally hoped to see them in turn take up their own banners and provide happy and stable homes for their own children.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; History; Society
KEYWORDS: familyvalues; liberals; marriage; parenting; society; values
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I think that this father is expressing what a lot of the older generation feels here about the generation of Obama voters, like the ones living in their parents basement and covered by their health insurance up to 26 years-old.
1 posted on 11/18/2012 6:52:23 AM PST by KeyLargo
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To: KeyLargo

A link would help.


2 posted on 11/18/2012 6:55:53 AM PST by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: KeyLargo

Here’s the link:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9686219/I-am-bitterly-bitterly-disappointed-retired-naval-officers-email-to-children-in-full.html


3 posted on 11/18/2012 6:56:11 AM PST by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: KeyLargo

How did this make the news?


4 posted on 11/18/2012 7:04:53 AM PST by bolobaby (Hostess closes? Atlas just shrugged in yo' faces, union beyotches!)
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To: KeyLargo

Many of today’s families have come under the strain and continuous anti-family onslaught from the media and society. However, the parents are often just as much to blame for following those trends and not making the home a safe haven for raising children. Kids just don’t all of a sudden go ‘bad’. I don’t know the full story, but maybe the father should have come ‘off his perch’ when the kids were being groomed for life. Something major has gone wrong if three kids are on the verge of their fifth divorce!


5 posted on 11/18/2012 7:05:15 AM PST by 2010Freeper
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To: central_va

Letter link:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/defence/


6 posted on 11/18/2012 7:08:46 AM PST by KeyLargo
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To: bolobaby

Because it was posted into “BLOGGERS and PERSONAL” and not news.

Sheesh!

Some people just don’t get it on FR!


7 posted on 11/18/2012 7:10:51 AM PST by KeyLargo
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To: KeyLargo

This is what cultural Marxism results in.


8 posted on 11/18/2012 7:12:43 AM PST by riri (Plannedopolis-look it up. It's how the elites plan for US to live.)
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To: KeyLargo

9 posted on 11/18/2012 7:20:30 AM PST by Roccus
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To: Roccus

Cool image.

LOL!


10 posted on 11/18/2012 7:22:41 AM PST by KeyLargo
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To: KeyLargo
"like the ones living in their parents basement and covered by their health insurance up to 26 years-old. "

Like the 27-year-old idiot I saw on TV SKATE-BOARDING with what looked like other neighborhood 12 year olds.

He had a full beard and a growing beer-belly, and you could just hear the disappointment in the fathers voice as he recorded his idiot son's biggest effort of the day: skateboarding down a hill on their street "instead of looking for a job"

The idiot son crashed at the bottom of the hill and since he is not a 12 year old he broke several bones and ended up in the hospital

11 posted on 11/18/2012 7:27:45 AM PST by Mr. K (some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help...)
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To: KeyLargo

An old post by an unknown FReeper many moons ago.

I bring it out and dust it off every once in a while.


12 posted on 11/18/2012 7:27:45 AM PST by Roccus
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To: KeyLargo

You don’t get it either, some of us stay on COMMENTS so we see everything that comes up, undivided into sections. It is more interesting that way, you should try it rather than gripe.


13 posted on 11/18/2012 7:35:58 AM PST by Ditter
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To: Roccus

14 posted on 11/18/2012 7:39:23 AM PST by KeyLargo
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To: Roccus

Shamelessly stolen for future use ...


15 posted on 11/18/2012 7:41:46 AM PST by tx_eggman (Liberalism is only possible in that moment when a man chooses Barabas over Christ.)
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To: KeyLargo

Imagine how David Petraeus’ father feels right about now.


16 posted on 11/18/2012 7:43:30 AM PST by Last Dakotan
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To: KeyLargo

Is that picture of the sign-carrying idiots for real?


17 posted on 11/18/2012 7:44:15 AM PST by pieceofthepuzzle
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To: KeyLargo
Having done our best — probably misguidedly

The world sucks, take some responsibility for not doing your best. If every parent did their best, there would be fewer crimes, and smaller prison populations. And maybe Barkie would not have been raped into a socialist by Frank Marshall.

18 posted on 11/18/2012 7:45:39 AM PST by King Moonracer (Bad lighting and cheap fabric, that's how you sell clothing.....)
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Donate here!

FReepathon is still on. Day 49
If not now, when?



19 posted on 11/18/2012 7:48:26 AM PST by RedMDer (May we always be happy and may our enemies always know it. - Sarah Palin, 10-18-2010)
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To: KeyLargo

I’m sure the dad served his country well, but he’s bitter by his own admission. There’s a right time and place to tell your kids what they don’t want to hear, and he picked the wrong time and place. He’s as “whingy” as any of the kids.


20 posted on 11/18/2012 7:53:27 AM PST by irgbar-man (had to sell my good tagline for food)
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To: Last Dakotan

Well, fur shur, Dave is not living in his basement ~ which I’d like to point to as a jobs problem, not a moral failing. Families should take care of families. Sending your unemployed sons or daughters, or grandchildren to a public shelter for the poor is really not the way to do it. Take care of your own problems first before sticking me with the tax bill! If you have housing, use it!


21 posted on 11/18/2012 7:54:23 AM PST by muawiyah
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To: pieceofthepuzzle
"Is that picture of the sign-carrying idiots for real?"

The photo is from Human Events.com

Ditch the Coke Nail: Advice for the ’99 Percent’ Movement

By: ttaylor

10/7/2011 02:51 AM

22 posted on 11/18/2012 7:54:56 AM PST by KeyLargo
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To: KeyLargo

I just want to smack the self-righteous reproach off that couple’s face. They aren’t worthy of the country founded by Puritans who built their own homes, and pioneers in covered wagons... they should be dropped off on the African veldt near a lion pride.


23 posted on 11/18/2012 7:59:57 AM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: KeyLargo
the two bottom losers are so poor but they still can afford cats.....

reminds me of a niece with several children in a small house...always needing money but she's got three big dogs prowling all over the house....

24 posted on 11/18/2012 8:05:36 AM PST by cherry
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To: KeyLargo
Ugh... college senior who can't spell "field," ... the only tragedy I see in those letters is that this one idiot doesn't understand how to take care of his cats.

Man, let me tell you, after I got out of the military but before I started putting myself laboriously through college, I was as poor as a church mouse. I had a job as a rental agent but it was only 30 hours a week. I had no car, no phone, no insurance, no air conditioning, hand-me-down clothes and lived on Ramen, carrots, and tap water. But my 3 cats were always fed. Always. Because pets are a RESPONSIBILITY I took on of my own free will, and once you take on that responsibility, by God, you better live up to it.

25 posted on 11/18/2012 8:06:57 AM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: central_va

My computer monitor is in color, so I click on the red linky thing under the title.


26 posted on 11/18/2012 8:15:37 AM PST by opbuzz (Right way, wrong way, Marine way)
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To: Roccus

Should be stuck to every family refrigerator with children. Let them know that YOU would send the same letter and post it all over every social network.

Love this guy. I was cheering him on as I read.


27 posted on 11/18/2012 8:19:20 AM PST by bonfire
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To: Roccus

Should be stuck to every family refrigerator with children. Let them know that YOU would send the same letter and post it all over every social network.

Love this guy. I was cheering him on as I read.


28 posted on 11/18/2012 8:19:23 AM PST by bonfire
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To: KeyLargo; cherry; A_perfect_lady

I am pretty sure the cat man was actually a libertarian (or something similar) making fun of the Occupy movement, though yes, there are a lot of those people that are like this!


29 posted on 11/18/2012 8:29:44 AM PST by ShovelPenguin
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To: ShovelPenguin

I hope so. Liberals bring suffering on themselves by being unworthy, but cats and dogs didn’t do anything to deserve it.


30 posted on 11/18/2012 8:34:57 AM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: KeyLargo
To Retired:

While it's not difficult to understand your bitterness it's clear you've missed a few things. Going off to some school is not preparation for life.
A real education involves teaching humility in our assessment of ourselves and gratitude for the sacrifices of others on our behalf, closely related to that is respect for those who gone before us and what they have produced.

Having to work for what we have teaches appreciation for its true cost. Finally, teaching your children that there is a God that looks on and holds us responsible for our actions.

Humility, respect, gratitude, reverence for the sacred....teach your children these things and they'll be educated for life and all else will follow. Fail and you will most certainly be bitterly disappointed.

31 posted on 11/18/2012 8:35:23 AM PST by count-your-change (You don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
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To: KeyLargo

Too little, too late.

My 14 year old laments that he is not allowed to do things that other kids do. He complains that he has to do chores around the house. He whines because we insist that he does (and re-does) his homework until he gets it right. He dislikes the fact that we insist on supervising most of what he does. He moans that he’s only allowed to do a fraction of what the other kids do. And, most of all, he hates it when he does something inappropriate and receives a consequence.

Being tough on your kids now pays big dividends in the future. My parents did it with me. Their parents did it with them. Too many kids grow up with a “free-ride” mentality and carry that over into adulthood.

People my age (Gen X) and even people my parent’s age sometimes fail to understand that YOU HAVE TO PASS YOUR VALUES ON TO YOUR CHILDREN, and that is HARD and sometimes UNPLEASANT. You can’t be wrapped up in a career or social life and expect to raise kids that grow up as responsible adults. The babysitter won’t teach them. The day care center won’t teach them, and the schools for damn sure won’t teach them.

The easy way that the world offers creeps in at every opportunity. You have to put all your fingers and toes in the dike to keep your kids on the right path. You have to stay on top of EVERYTHING, and that is a full-time job.

“Hands off” parenting produces liberal children who are often unable to cope with life. A huge price to pay for a “fun” childhood.


32 posted on 11/18/2012 8:47:17 AM PST by FLAMING DEATH (Freedom of speech is delicious. It tastes like chicken.)
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To: KeyLargo

Good for this man. It’s about time he and his wife go about their own lives and live and enjoy what they have worked for. Their children (adults)sound selfish, self-absorbed and probably don’t know a damned thing about anything outside their own whiny lives.
These parents have done all they can. It’s up to them now to make it on their own and they will now KNOWING their parents are finished listening to their whining and crying.
Now the rubber meets the road. Good job parents. Go out and enjoy what you have worked for. Your kids will survive one way or another but...that’s THEIR choosing.
You are wise to cut the strings.


33 posted on 11/18/2012 9:05:49 AM PST by cubreporter
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To: KeyLargo
Because it was posted into “BLOGGERS and PERSONAL” and not news.

I always click on "all of the above", so I can never complain.

34 posted on 11/18/2012 9:06:04 AM PST by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed &water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS, NOW & FOREVER!)
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To: Last Dakotan

I was wondering about that myself. His mother too. Don’t know if either are still with us but... what shame. Not to mention his sweet wife and their children. I dont’ know about anyone else but... CHOICE IS CHOICE.... he CHOSE wrong.


35 posted on 11/18/2012 9:08:30 AM PST by cubreporter
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To: JimRed

Some of us are just always looking for things to complain about.


36 posted on 11/18/2012 9:08:46 AM PST by Ditter
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To: KeyLargo

Saw some of this group in NYC... DISGUSTING. If you have two arms, two legs, a healthy body you can get yourself out there and get a job. Another group of WHINERS.


37 posted on 11/18/2012 9:09:52 AM PST by cubreporter
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To: count-your-change

AMEN!!!! As I have said a million times before... it BEGINS in the HOME before that child steps its feet out the door for the first time to Kindergarten. AMEN.


38 posted on 11/18/2012 9:11:30 AM PST by cubreporter
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To: KeyLargo

In what language is that written? Once I find out then it should be a simple matter of using an online translator.


39 posted on 11/18/2012 9:12:06 AM PST by steve86 (Acerbic by Nature, not NurtureĀ™)
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To: A_perfect_lady

Grew up with paper routes and cutting neighbors’ lawns.

Every summer as a teen I worked on the staff of a Boy Scout camp all summer. Slept in a small tent with another guy.

One year at VMI being hazed, and having only a small, cigar-box size lock box for personal belongings. Everything immaculately clean and orderly at all times. Rigorous studies on top of that.

Four years on ships in the Navy, living in cramped quarters with few belongings, poor-tasting food, long hours, hard work, some danger, etc.

Completed undergraduate in modest comfort, then medical school, the last two years of which I had no vehicle, lived in a small, vacant studio apartment on a thin futon on the floor, owned one pot, one pan, a plate, a cup, a bowl, a single spoon/fork/knife setting - all from Goodwill. Ate sitting at the foot of the futon using a flat rock found in the alley, which was propped up on a few bricks. Studied there too.

Spent several years of my residency training sleeping on the floors of my small offices (when not up all night on call). No car.

I never complained, and it never even crossed my mind that I had it bad, or that someone should feel sorry for me. Many had it much worse throughout history, and in our society and elsewhere. I worked hard, kept my nose clean, dealt with people honestly, never got anyone pregnant, never went on the dole, never borrowed from my folks, and paid off my debts ASAP through extra work and sacrifice.

I have a mixture of sadness and revulsion for what I see today in young people. Whatever I inherently had, or had instilled in me, or worked hard to develop in myself is entirely lacking in so many. Hemingway’s story title - “A Way You’ll Never Be” - often comes to my mind. So much has been lost in recent generations, and I think there is little chance of it being revived.

I sound like a typical old coot, and perhaps now just an example of a dying breed of dinosaur, but I’m quite blessed to be one.


40 posted on 11/18/2012 9:18:27 AM PST by dagogo redux (A whiff of primitive spirits in the air, harbingers of an impending descent into the feral.)
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To: KeyLargo
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6.

Sorry, admiral, it your fault. Parenting is not for the weak of heart. Fun to make but hard to raise.

41 posted on 11/18/2012 9:20:06 AM PST by April Lexington (Study the Constitution so you know what they are taking away!)
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To: KeyLargo

What did the older generation teach their children? Not much. Not much at all. They were on autopilot. Now the older generations want to complain. Too late, gramps. You had you chance for over 50 years and you sat on your collective asses. The younger generations can barely tie their own shoes as no skills whatsoever were passed down. Life was good after WWII so no one bothered to raise those little suburbian darlings. No one bothered to teach them.


42 posted on 11/18/2012 9:25:24 AM PST by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off.)
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To: KeyLargo

the printer repair man was a spoof, in the photo he’s wearing an ar15.com t-shirt


43 posted on 11/18/2012 9:28:36 AM PST by Jeff Vader
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To: 2010Freeper

these kids are not too bad. I have a neice on her fifth.


44 posted on 11/18/2012 9:38:04 AM PST by goat granny
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To: dagogo redux
I was Navy too, in the late 80s. Used the GI Bill and some loans to put myself through school. I slept on the floor for the first 3 months of gainful employment when I finally finished school. I didn't even have a futon (at first.)

LOL... we sound like the four Yorkshiremen. "Luxury. We slept in a hole in the ground..." "Oh? That were paradise, compared to us. At least you had a hole! We slept in the lake!"

45 posted on 11/18/2012 9:40:12 AM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: KeyLargo

Clints movies all have a line or two that become classic. LIke”dying no way to live son”,


46 posted on 11/18/2012 9:43:36 AM PST by goat granny
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To: cubreporter

Memo to Maria Howdoyousolveaproblemlike:

HA!

Your stroppy old sea dog Captain Von Trapp wasn’t the only one with a no-nonsense parenting approach.

But I bet our one doesn’t sing.

England 1, Austria 0.

You’re not singing
You’re not singing
You’re not singing anymore!
You’re not si-i-inging anymore!


47 posted on 11/18/2012 9:47:13 AM PST by MalPearce
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To: April Lexington
Having raised three successful kids myself but witnessed their friends' propensities to go astray, I can say that it is very possible for a parent to do everything "right" and still have a kid go wrong.

In this email the "children" are all adults, with children of their own. Like many, by adolescence they probably became more susceptible to peer culture, societal influence, even educational malpractice, than parental guidance. They have been making their own decisions for years now, apparently choosing poorly despite parental efforts to provide guidance, yet expecting their parents to somehow "fix" things for them.

The father here should have set his limits and expressed his expectations years ago, and maybe the wayward "kids" would have woken up sooner. But then hindsight is always so easy, isn't it.

48 posted on 11/18/2012 10:04:07 AM PST by hinckley buzzard
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To: Marie
Here’s the link:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9686219/I-am-bitterly-bitterly-disappointed-retired-naval-officers-email-to-children-in-full.html

More background here.

Here is daughter Emily Crews-Montes, who is married to a French doctor:


49 posted on 11/18/2012 10:08:19 AM PST by cynwoody
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To: bolobaby
How did this make the news?

According to another UK paper, daughter Emily asked her father to publish it:

The family feud burst into the public domain when Nick Crews published the email at the request of daughter Emily Crews-Montes, 40 – one of his targets – who now lives in France [married to a doctor] and works as a translator for a publisher. She is the only one of the siblings still speaking to her parents.

50 posted on 11/18/2012 10:15:42 AM PST by cynwoody
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