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Local Governments Pilot Testing Tyranny
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 23 Nov 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/26/2012 9:42:40 AM PST by John Semmens

Local governments on opposite sides of the nation are exploring new ground in the never ending battle against individual freedom in this country.

In New York City, inspectors from the Department of Health cracked down on unauthorized distribution of food to survivors of Hurricane Sandy. The serving of meals to people whose homes were destroyed by the storm was found to be “non-compliant with existing restaurant standards” by Health Inspector Constance Medler.

“The meals are being served outdoors,” Medler complained. “The cooking is done by uncertified cooks on uninspected stoves. The food is served on paper plates and eaten with plastic utensils. There has been a complete disregard for our regulations.”

Medler said that “the argument that this is just a temporary response to an emergency is no excuse for flouting our standards. Just because some people are voluntarily providing food to those willing to eat it doesn’t negate our responsibility to protect the public from consuming substandard comestibles.”

In San Diego, Regional Water Quality Control Board officials are working on new regulations that would impose stiff penalties (fines up to $100,000 per day and jail terms of up to six years) on home owners whose lawn sprinklers dampen the sidewalks. Washing cars in driveways and neglecting to pick up dog waste in your own backyard would also be similarly penalized. In addition, a “hot line” will be set up for persons to report on neighbors who violate the new regulations.

“Just because you pay a mortgage or have a deed doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want on that property,” Board spokesperson Christine Waters explained. “The harsh penalties are necessary to show that we are serious about enforcing these rules. If a neighbor is forced out of his home by crushing fines or is sent to prison others will be much more careful about obeying these laws.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2012/11/23/president-omits-god-from-thanksgiving-address-for-fourth-straight-year/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bureaucrats; nannystate; satire; tyranny

1 posted on 11/26/2012 9:42:46 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Local Govt Tyranny AKA Home Owners Associations


2 posted on 11/26/2012 9:46:27 AM PST by smith288 (Peace at all costs gives you tyranny free of charge)
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To: smith288

Don’t get me started on HOAs. My HOA is as corrupt as anything I’ve ever seen. The shit they get away with makes my head spin.


3 posted on 11/26/2012 9:55:13 AM PST by rarestia (It's time to water the Tree of Liberty.)
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To: John Semmens

I witnessed epidemic levels of public fleecing on the interstate system all week long last week. Unlike anything I had ever witnessed. The Interstates were a complete police state with cars pulled over every 300 yards and other officers aiming there radar guns at us all alomg the way. PATHETIC! Welcome to the holiday season in the NEW normal!


4 posted on 11/26/2012 9:55:29 AM PST by The Toll
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To: John Semmens

“The food is served on paper plates and eaten with plastic utensils. There has been a complete disregard for our regulations.”

Sound like they disregarded common sense. Picnics are outlawed. The liberal northeast. Nothing but a sewer.


5 posted on 11/26/2012 9:59:29 AM PST by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off.)
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To: John Semmens

John, you have officially crossed the line from satire into reality. I’m not even sure how you can pull off effective satire these days in bizarro world.


6 posted on 11/26/2012 10:09:19 AM PST by TADSLOS (LOSING BIG- The GOP legacy.)
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To: John Semmens
"“non-compliant with existing restaurant standards” by Health Inspector Constance Medler. "

BWAHAHAhahahaha...

7 posted on 11/26/2012 11:26:49 AM PST by pigsmith (Now I understand why America is not mentioned in the end times.)
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