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DUmmie FUnnies 12-07-12 (DUmmies cry: "Tax the churches!")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 7, 2012 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 12/07/2012 11:19:39 AM PST by Charles Henrickson

The DUmmies LOVE taxes! They just love them! Tax, tax, tax, tax, tax, tax, TAX!!! More taxes, higher taxes, more, more, more! As long as the DUmmies themselves don't have to pay them. But tax the other guy? Sure! Tax 'em out the wazoo!

Where to find more food to feed the federal Leviathan? Big Government has a Big Appetite. Sandra Fluke's pills don't come cheap, you know. So where to look? Corporations, of course. Rich people, of course. They're all evil. (Well, all of them except for the deep-pocket Democrat donors, I guess.)

Let's see, whom haven't we taxed yet? Hey, I've got it! Non-profit organizations! No, wait, not ALL non-profit organizations. Just . . . just the churches. Yeah, that's it! TAX THE F***ING CHURCHES!!!

You see, that would exempt the DUmmies, since they don't go to church. They HATE churches. They hate Christianity, above all things. The DUmmies are the advance guard of the Democrats' War on Religion. And so, displaying their unique sense of love and tolerance, the DUmmies turn their wrath once again toward Christian churches here in this THREAD, "Does anyone else think it's time to tax the churches?"

So let us now watch the paganized progs take aim at the church as a new target to tax, in Bolshevik Bullseye Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, one who would be added to the growing ranks of the Obama Unemployed if the government were to tax churches, is in the overtaxed [brackets]:

Does anyone else think it's time to tax the churches?

[Someone new to tax? And they're Christians? Sweet! The DUmmies will be all over this like vampires looking at fresh necks.]

Without a doubt. Absolutely!!

[No thinking required!! Automatic yes! You said "tax," which I love, and "churches," which I hate. No-brainer!]

Absolutely!!!!

[With even more exclamation marks!!!!]

Especially Christian churches.

[Yes! In fact, ONLY Christian churches! We hates them!!!]

Our government is going broke - it's way past time to end the free ride.

[Or--here's a novel thought--maybe the government could cut back on their spending a wee bit. WHOA! I know. Shocking.]

Long past time. Tax them like the businesses they are.

[Charge 'em back-taxes, too. Retroactive. 200+ years' worth. That'll show 'em.]

Do you want to tax all non-profit organizations, or just religious ones?

[Um, um . . . ooh, that's right. They're non-profit organizations, aren't they? And, and . . . to be fair. . . . Well, my answer is no, not all non-profits, just the religious ones. And really, just the Christian religious non-profit organizations. We hates them.]

I do not see churches as non-profit organizations. . . .

[Even though they ARE non-profit organizations, I don't SEE them as that, and my view is what counts.]

Why is your question even relevant to this debate? No one said tax non-profits.

[Just churches. Because churches are bad. The non-profits we LIKE--no, don't tax them. In fact, tax the churches, and give the money to the non-profits we like, like, the Sandra Fluke Planned Barrenhood Foundation (SFPBF).]

clearly, there are some non-profits that really ought to be taxed, like the Komen Foundation and some of the supposedly non-profits which were really superPACs.

[Oh oh! Did you just say something against the Komen Foundation?? That's SEXIST! Go put a pink ribbon on your head and sit in the corner! You're in time-out, mister!]

maybe exempt them up to a certain size. This might have the welcomed effect of dampening mega-churches.

[Considering how sappy most mega-churches are--they tend to be non-prophet organizations--you almost persuade me. Almost.]

They have a lot of input in politics influencing the voter to vote for certain candidates and pass laws that agree with their theology. This violates separation of church and state, so if they want to play, they need to pay.

if they want to be political they should lose their tax exempt status. Politics should not be spoken from the pulpit. . . .

[You mean like the black churches that have Democrat candidates speak from their pulpits? Like Jeremiah Wright's church? They don't preach religion, they preach politics. Tax them? Put them out of business? OK, I guess we'll have to specify: Only WHITE churches, only Christian churches, and only those where the majority of members are conservative.]

as it is, taxes fall most heavily on the poor and those with no voice.

[Really? REALLY?? Are you referring to the huge number of voters under a certain income who don't pay any taxes at all?? And yet they get to vote, and put an oaf like Obama back in office??]

Long overdue! I would love to tax them into oblivion.

[Diogenes, call off your search. I have found an honest DUmmie.]

You can't pick and choose among non-profits. They all have to be taxed or none of them. Taxing non-profits would destroy most of them. Some of the real big ones would survive but most wouldn't so that is why there would be no political will to do this. Also churches would argue (I think successfully) that it would be a violation of the First Amendment. The power to tax is the power to destroy and that would violate the free exercise clause of the First amendment.

[And WE can call off OUR search for a Kewpie Doll winner! It is none other than DUmmie former9thward, for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity. Congratulations!]

What profit do churches have? Most churches I know use their entire budget towards salaries, building or charitable efforts.

[Well, yeah. But, but . . . TAX THEM ANYWAY! They're CHURCHES, for Gaia's sake, and we HATE churches!]

Their land and buildings should be taxed. And their businesses.

[And their photocopiers. And their pew cushions. Whatever we can find to tax. Oh, and their potluck dinners. Especially those jello salads with the carrots in them. Tax those into oblivion. Please.]

So the same should happen to all non-profits, right? Otherwise the churches are being specifically targeted, which kind of goes against that Constitution thingy.

[Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

Stop it!!! Facts are really annoying to someone on an illogical rant against their personal boogeyman!

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

What you are proposing is discrimination against, and in reality elimination of, small churches, synagogues, and mosques in favor of the mega-facility that you seem to think (wrongly) dominates the religious landscape in the US. I am surprised that anyone would favor a concentration of unfettered political power into a handful of super-sized churches.

[The LFTs are coming out of the woodwork.]

Since the republicans think that the churches/religion should take care of people instead of the government, then the churches should be required to serve the poor.

[Fine. We would love to do that. Charity SHOULD be done by private organizations, churches, family, friends, etc., and not by the government. However, first, you would have to stop the government spending on social programs and give the revenue back to the taxpayers, so we would have the money to give toward charitable works.]

Churches benefit from the community.

[Roads and bridges, right? Jesus: "I will build my church." Obama: "You didn't build that!"]

We should - especially now - when the churchs have gotten their foot in the door by bitching about contraception and women's healty rights.

[Correction: We are "bitching" (ironic use of the term) about the government forcing us to pay for things that go against our religious beliefs, like abortifacients for Sandra Fluke.]

Absolutely .. Yes, Yes..and yes!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

[Sandra is getting excited!]

burn them down. . . .

[That's a STUPID idea! How could you tax them then?]

churches are sewers of hate.

[Feel the irony!]

Most preachers make little to no money. . . .

[Tell me about it.]

I know alot of priests who drive Beamers. . . .

[I know a lot of pastors who drive beat-up old used cars with lots of mileage on them. Indeed, I know one personally.]

Unite! and Join me a New Movement to Tax all religious church property! . . . churches, schools, diocesan offices, bishops residences, clergy residences, cemeteries, hospitals, universities, retreat facilities, youth camps, megachurches, store front churches, convents, seminaries and all the companies who supply products to those churches including wine, hosts and religious items.

[How about those little plastic individual cups? Most pastors I know wish we could get rid of them. Maybe I'd go along with taxing those.]

Yes Please.

F*** ya!

Time to start a movement.

[I see Sandra, and she has started a movement . . .]

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

[Calm down, Sandy!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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"Nasty, tricksy, churcheses! We hates them!"

1 posted on 12/07/2012 11:19:42 AM PST by Charles Henrickson
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To: Charles Henrickson

Let’s tax movie & pay for view tickets.


2 posted on 12/07/2012 11:24:02 AM PST by TexasCajun
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 12/07/2012 11:24:23 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (A not-much-profit prophet)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The left prays that God doesn’t exist.


4 posted on 12/07/2012 11:25:45 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Ibtp!


5 posted on 12/07/2012 11:26:01 AM PST by Ignatz (Winner of a prestigious 1960 Y-chromosome award!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

In before 10. Before I got the ping.


6 posted on 12/07/2012 11:26:32 AM PST by techcor
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To: Charles Henrickson

Bastard children of the French Revolution, they are.


7 posted on 12/07/2012 11:27:02 AM PST by NeoCaveman (SMOD 2012)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Since they love taxes so much....Maybe the Republican House SHOULD add a couple of new taxes. Marriage License Tax for Gay couples(To apply you have to pay $10,000/Submit Mental health forms and fingetprints), Tax for NOT owning at least one Gun/Tax Breaks for those owning at least one/more for 3+ .........LOL


8 posted on 12/07/2012 11:31:47 AM PST by jakerobins
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To: Charles Henrickson

We have found a church, might we burn it?

9 posted on 12/07/2012 11:33:14 AM PST by KarlInOhio (Big Bird is a brood parasite: laid in our nest 43 years ago and we are still feeding him.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I feel a Ten Years After song coming on...


10 posted on 12/07/2012 11:59:05 AM PST by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“Their land and buildings should be taxed. And their businesses.”

Once again these fools point out that they are morons! First, taxing land and buildings is done with the Property Tax that is executed by the city/viallage, county and states. As of yet, there is not Federal property tax. It is up to those localities to exempt churches, or any other property.

Secondly, if a Church is involved in a “Business” then I am wagering that the vast majority do pay the federal taxes required. I would also bet that this type of example is very rare.

Finally, as Churches are generally not busineses or evil corporations, there is no official business revenue to federally tax. However, they do have employees, the vast majority of whom are the Pastors. I’ve never inspected a Pastor’s Income Tax Return forms, but I am most certain that they do pay Federal Income Tax at the required tax bracket rate. They probably pay the Medicare Payroll Tax too. However, I will admit that I know that they can voluntarily, and leagally, abstain from paying SSIP payroll taxes.

I hope every Pastor does abstain from the SSIP tax!


11 posted on 12/07/2012 12:00:09 PM PST by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Interesting image to follow the conversation. The one ring...gave power of invisibility.

I hid myself, because I was naked...

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

The ring again, gave the wearer invisibility. Forged in fire of greatest evil.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

The ring itself, destroyed in the Cracks of Doom.


12 posted on 12/07/2012 12:05:50 PM PST by BlueDragon (the fox knows many things, but the badger knows one great thing...)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Tax the Churches?

Nooo!
That was my last resort, I could get ordained online and start my own non taxable Church /s

It seems a bit blasphemous, but it was an option.
I know lots of ordained ministers with lots of wild ideas.

Why not Minister mylife?
Oh yeah... now I remember, It seems a bit blasphemous.


13 posted on 12/07/2012 12:12:44 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Especially Christian churches.

That did not take long! LOL

14 posted on 12/07/2012 12:14:06 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Charles Henrickson
unfettered political power into a handful of super-sized churches

Which is why the founding fathers established the Evangelical College.

Wait..wha? the electoral what?

15 posted on 12/07/2012 12:15:05 PM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Bread and Circuses; Everyone to the Coliseum!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Absolutely .. Yes, Yes..and yes!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

I'll have what that Dummie is having...

16 posted on 12/07/2012 12:16:49 PM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Bread and Circuses; Everyone to the Coliseum!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

<:: [I know a lot of pastors who drive beat-up old used cars with lots of mileage on them. Indeed, I know one personally.] ::

I suspect you and he live in the same parsonage! But, driving around ina beat-up car ain’t really a “pastoral” thing. It is more a Swedish/German/Lutheran thing, jah.


17 posted on 12/07/2012 12:18:58 PM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Bread and Circuses; Everyone to the Coliseum!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Damn you Dan Kathy for offering tasty chicken sandwiches with a smile! We need a special Christian Business tax!


18 posted on 12/07/2012 12:23:13 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Charles Henrickson
non-prophet organizations

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!!

I am so totally going to use that twist of words in the future!

.

19 posted on 12/07/2012 12:29:05 PM PST by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
We hateses them!


20 posted on 12/07/2012 12:29:51 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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