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;;Five Things About Getting Older That Shouldn’t Have Surprised Me ;;;
pjmedia. ^ | December 12, 2012 - 7:00 am | John Hawkins

Posted on 12/16/2012 8:53:38 AM PST by virgil283

"I never imagined what being 40 would feel like, because it never occurred to me that I’d ever be 40. I didn’t think I wouldn’t be, mind you. It was just too boring to enter my brain, and it seemed like forever from now." — Stephanie Dolgoff-- Been there, done that, got the postcard. Haven’t we all (I’m not including you whippersnappers in “all” — and P.S.: get off my lawn!)? When you’re a kid, people who are middle-aged almost seem like a different species. You’re young, energetic, and have your whole life in front of you. You’re the male lion of the human world, and they’re not the hyenas you’re going to surpass or the antelope you plan to eat; they’re more the hippos of the human world. You see them around, moving from one task to another, doing things you don’t. You don’t hate them or eat them, but you don’t want to be them either. The idea that you’ll be like that one day seems almost beyond belief. ....

(Excerpt) Read more at pjmedia.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: gettingolder
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1] "..When you’re young, you can stay out all night, work all day, take a physical pounding, and still recover in a day or two... 2] Learning how surprisingly different people are: 3]You never finish learning and growing..4) It’s harder than I expected..5) No magic bullet: There’s no such thing as “the good old days” or a future time when you’ll “have it made.” ....downside you missed before and it’s just not as satisfying as you imagined.

That doesn’t mean nothing will ever please you long term; it’s an acknowledgment that there is no magic bullet, no magic key, and no magic anything. Yes, studies show that getting married or becoming a Christian will make you happier, but there’s no one treasure you can have, do, or be that will make you happy and keep you happy over the long term. Most studies even show that the ultimate stroke of good fortune — winning the lottery — only produces a short-term burst of happiness that regresses back to the mean over time for people who have already achieved a minimal level of financial security. Contrary to what I believed when I was young, happiness is a process that has to be maintained over time, not a result of some moment, achievement, or thing...."

1 posted on 12/16/2012 8:53:45 AM PST by virgil283
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To: virgil283

My latest surprise came a few days ago, when I got off my knees setting up a Nativity scene under a tree. It looks terrific, but I wrecked my knee and will be seeing the doc next week.


2 posted on 12/16/2012 8:56:53 AM PST by patriotsblood
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To: virgil283

Way to perk this old aching body up this morning. Where’s the reset button?


3 posted on 12/16/2012 9:09:29 AM PST by bgill (We've passed the point of no return. Welcome to Al Amerika.)
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To: virgil283

6) Pain hurts more, lasts longer and more readily indicates real, permenant, physical damage.

(of course, 40 has been in my rear-view mirror for several decades)


4 posted on 12/16/2012 9:10:41 AM PST by Roccus
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To: patriotsblood

Funny, I had the same problem after setting up the train set...fortunately not bad enough for the doc but enough for a few IBPs to calm the hurt.


5 posted on 12/16/2012 9:13:32 AM PST by Mouton (108th MI Group.....68-71)
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To: virgil283

I’m in my late fifties. I am slender and fit and I have plenty of energy. This is probably due to the fact that now I eat a very strict, very healthy diet, while in youth I ate crap, like most young people do.

I am AMAZED at how quickly I lose physical condition now.

Cellulite and wrinkles puzzle me, like every other external sign of aging. It feels as though these are some passing glitch that will go away, and I’m going to go back to looking like my 25-year-old daughter. But I’m not. Maybe it’s some kind of Boomer deficit in reality contact—I just can’t grasp the fact that I’m old. The fact that my kids keep desperately telling me I’m not old and I’m never going to die does not contribute to reality.

At this point men come to me for advice about women and tell me how wise I am, but it would never enter anybody’s mind to ask me out. This is not what I wanted or anticipated until I was in my seventies, at least!

I’ve always dressed and groomed myself in a pretty way, wearing feminine clothes, wearing makeup, using moisturizers and conditioner, whitening my teeth, shaving my legs, doing my hair and nails carefully. People always said I was attractive. In the past few weeks I’ve thought about giving all that up and not trying to look nice anymore, just be covered and clean.


6 posted on 12/16/2012 9:16:41 AM PST by ottbmare (The OTTB Mare)
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To: virgil283

I’ve learned that navel-gazing is pointless.


7 posted on 12/16/2012 9:18:00 AM PST by Melpomene (Proud member of the Who Dat nation.)
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To: virgil283

... and don’t forget - young people get really, really stupid when you get older!


8 posted on 12/16/2012 9:18:13 AM PST by Ken522
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To: ottbmare
The fact that my kids keep desperately telling me I’m not old and I’m never going to die does not contribute to reality.

They only say that because THEY don't want to be the front line. };^)

9 posted on 12/16/2012 9:20:52 AM PST by Roccus
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To: virgil283
... they’re more the hippos of the human world...

I would like to point out that in spite of their comical appearance, hippos are way more dangerous than lions.

10 posted on 12/16/2012 9:23:34 AM PST by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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To: virgil283

Ha! Wait until you turn 60!


11 posted on 12/16/2012 9:25:04 AM PST by VietVet (I am old enough to know who I am and what I believe, and I 'm not inclined to apologize for any of)
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To: sima_yi

We certainly are.


12 posted on 12/16/2012 9:25:38 AM PST by Roccus
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To: ottbmare
I am AMAZED at how quickly I lose physical condition now.

This is probably due to the fact that now I eat a very strict, very healthy diet,

Come back to the dark side.

We have cookies...

...made with real chocolate and fresh creamery butter!

13 posted on 12/16/2012 9:34:51 AM PST by null and void (Going Galt: The won't of the people)
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To: qam1; ItsOurTimeNow; PresbyRev; Fraulein; StoneColdGOP; Clemenza; m18436572; InShanghai; xrp; ...
It's been a long time since I done one of these but..

Xer Ping

Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.

Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.  

14 posted on 12/16/2012 9:36:18 AM PST by qam1 (There's been a huge party. All plates and the bottles are empty, all that's left is the bill to pay)
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To: sima_yi

I was in my early forties before young adults began calling me “sir.” It’s courteous, it’s nice but it also identifies you as “other.”

As I’ve advanced into my late forties, it seems I become increasingly invisible to those same young adults. There are upsides to this, as others have noted, the stupidity of the youg becomes more and more obvious over time and as you put more distance between yourself and being young.

Most of the time, I really don’t think about my age. Most of the time, I don’t feel it. I’m not overweight or in bad physical condition. I’ve stopped caring about what’s “in” as far as clothing, shoes or sporting goods, having seen so many “in” things come and go. I stick with things that are sort of anti-fashion. They’re never “in” but they’re never out either. That way I don’t have to think about it.

There are mornings, however, when I get up, go to shower, look in the mirror and think, is that me, lol? The person who told me in my twenties to remeber how I looked when I woke up with a bad hangover because in twenty years I’d look like that all the time was a little too close for comfort, lol.

All that aside, I’ll take it. Beats the alternative.


15 posted on 12/16/2012 9:36:19 AM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: VietVet
Wait till you turn 66 and the Grand kiddies say you wear “Grandpa Shoes.”

Another Viet Vet.

16 posted on 12/16/2012 9:40:27 AM PST by Little Bill (A)
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To: virgil283
I can relate to this but I never imagined myself past the age of 60. At my 60th birthday party I fell down a short flight of cement stairs. If there had been one more step I would have snapped my neck. All I ended up with is cracked ribs, a dislocated wrist, a big knot on my jawbone and possibly a slight concussion.

I am 72 now and I am thankful for every day.

17 posted on 12/16/2012 9:47:51 AM PST by Ditter
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To: virgil283

At 62 I am at the gym every morning at 5:00 and work with a personal trainer one and sometimes two mornings every week. He busts my butt, but it is worth every minute of it. I have shed 55 lbs and my “numbers” are all where they should be for someone in his 20’s. BP is 115/65, pulse at rest is 61, cholesterol is 145, blood sugar is 95. I do have arthritis in my left knee, but I don’t run 20K races anymore, I work out with 44 lb kettle bells and 25 lb medicine balls.


18 posted on 12/16/2012 9:55:44 AM PST by SLB (23rd Artillery Group, Republic of South Vietnam, Aug 1970 - Aug 1971.)
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To: ottbmare
I am AMAZED at how quickly I lose physical condition now.

Wait till you hit your 60's, you'll be replacing your daily vitamins with ibuprofin.........

19 posted on 12/16/2012 9:59:29 AM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon.....)
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To: RegulatorCountry
As I’ve advanced into my late forties, it seems I become increasingly invisible to those same young adults. There are upsides to this, as others have noted, the stupidity of the youg becomes more and more obvious over time and as you put more distance between yourself and being young.

I'm advancing ten years ahead of you. My invisibility to the young hasn't increased in the last decade, but my tendency to involuntarily look at them incredulously has grown exponentially. I have, in many ways, become the old coot from my youth.

Give me denim overalls, an old fedora or straw hat, either a pipe or chewing tobacco, and a Case "peanut" knife to cut my apple with, and I'm living history.

Mr. niteowl77

20 posted on 12/16/2012 9:59:35 AM PST by niteowl77 (Oh, crap.)
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To: Little Bill

Ha! Top this:

“Gramma, why are your legs lumpy?”


21 posted on 12/16/2012 10:01:42 AM PST by Wiser now (Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)
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To: ottbmare
I am AMAZED at how quickly I lose physical condition now.

Wait till you hit your 60's, you'll be replacing your daily vitamins with ibuprofin.........

22 posted on 12/16/2012 10:03:38 AM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon.....)
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To: ottbmare

Please give some brief insight into your diet. I’m shooting for minus 30 pounds over Q1 and Q2 and know what I need to do, but like different perspectives.


23 posted on 12/16/2012 10:05:54 AM PST by GunRunner (***Not associated with any criminal actions by the ATF***)
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To: ottbmare
Health Warning for girls!

Health Guru or Domestic Goddess?


This is Gillian McKeith. She is 51.

She is a TV "health guru" advocating a holistic approach to nutrition and ill health, promoting exercise, a pescetarian diet high in organic fruits and vegetables. She recommends detox diets colonic irrigation and supplements, and also makes statements that yeast is harmful, that the colour of food is nutritionally significant, and about the utility of lingual and faecal examination.


This is Nigella Lawson. She is 50.

She is a TV cook, who eats nothing but meat, butter and deserts. So forget "join a gym and eat more celery". This Christmas, it's food and booze all the way. And the only exercise you need is dancing.

Merry Christmas!

24 posted on 12/16/2012 10:08:09 AM PST by null and void (Going Galt: The won't of the people)
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To: Little Bill

I’m 63 and watch my grand-kids while my daughter and son-in-law go to their jobs as teachers. Being probably the only adult in my grandkids’ lives that doesn’t go to a job, I shouldn’t have been surprised when my 4 year old grand-daughter asked, “Poppie, what do you want to be when you grow up?”


25 posted on 12/16/2012 10:10:39 AM PST by TexasKamaAina
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To: ottbmare

I’m in my late 50s also. I’ve found that weightlifting gives you definition that cardio doesn’t. I do it twice a week with a former bodybuilder. It’s not the answer to the fountain of youth ( I’ll still stick to a one piece bathing suit), but I feel stronger and hope to keep muscle atrophiation at bay for as long as possible.


26 posted on 12/16/2012 10:12:33 AM PST by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
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To: ottbmare

Into my late 30s I was routinely carded by checkout people and others refused to believe my real age when I would tell them. People actually thought I was in my early 20s at most. Heard a ton of comments about how lucky I was.

At around 40 all hell broke loose and I aged dramatically Physically and in appearance. Now, at 47, I look like I’m closer to 60. And health wise...don’t ask ;)


27 posted on 12/16/2012 10:16:51 AM PST by Norm Lenhart
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To: null and void

lol - bttt


28 posted on 12/16/2012 10:16:59 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Roccus
The fact that my kids keep desperately telling me I’m not old and I’m never going to die does not contribute to reality.

They only say that because THEY don't want to be the front line. };^)

You are absolutely right. They're 18 and 24 (very close to 19 and 25) and they don't want to have to be The Adult and not have anybody to ask for help. I know the feeling--I wish my own parents were still alive to get help from!

29 posted on 12/16/2012 10:27:10 AM PST by ottbmare (The OTTB Mare)
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To: virgil283

I am 48 and set to retire from the military in a few months. I have five kids and five grandchildren. I can still outrun all of them (but it hurts more to do so). After 20+ years of going strong in the military I can tell my body has been beaten down some (I now go to physical therapy twice a week) and takes longer to recover.


30 posted on 12/16/2012 10:28:18 AM PST by rfreedom4u (I have a copy of the Constitution! And I'm not afraid to use it!)
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To: Wiser now
Sounds like a woman thing, can't compete in that category.

My Grand Daughter is still trying to beat me in mental math, add, divide, subtract and multiply a series of numbers thrown out verbally. So I haven't descended into senility, as she thinks.

I have been working with her on geometry and trig, women do well with shapes and relationships. Does well for a nine year old.

31 posted on 12/16/2012 10:29:21 AM PST by Little Bill (A)
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To: virgil283

One thing I’ve learned is that although I had way more energy, both mental and physical back in the day, a great deal was wasted due to a lack of experience of applying it. You simply are not as good at connecting the dots at 20 as you are at 40, nor cutting out unnecessary and inefficient steps.

I’ve also found that many things I held dear at 20 were delusional and unproductive. Bottom line is, the best use of your youth is to do so maturely and productively, and not be not overly self-enamoured of the fact that you are young. The earlier you start learning and building, the better life will be from there to the years ahead.


32 posted on 12/16/2012 10:33:34 AM PST by Free Vulcan (Vote Republican! [You can vote Democrat when you're dead]...)
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To: TexasKamaAina

Spoil my kids and corrupt my my grand kids is the correct answer.

My Grandson five just wants to do man work. My son and I have to keep a close eye on him lest he cut a hand off with some of our tools.


33 posted on 12/16/2012 10:39:08 AM PST by Little Bill (A)
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To: Norm Lenhart
I was also carded well into my 30's* and like my mother's side, aged very well until I underwent my first surgery in my mid-40s. Physically and aesthetically, it was downhill fairly fast from there, and some days I am also convinced some of the old gray cells never came out of anesthesia. Luckily, being a male, I can privately indulge in the delusion that I actually look distinguished and wise.

The fact that I feel like crap every morning is a bit harder to rationalize away.

Mr. niteowl77

*I took a perverse sort of pleasure in showing my Selective Service card when asked for ID, because the younger clerks had no memory of them.

34 posted on 12/16/2012 10:41:18 AM PST by niteowl77 (Oh, crap.)
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To: Little Bill

It’s tough when you get so old, you can’t do it anymore, but your memory is so bad you thought you actually did.


35 posted on 12/16/2012 10:41:29 AM PST by umgud (No Rats, No Rino's)
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To: null and void
Sophia Loren at 70

Photobucket

"Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti." S.L.

36 posted on 12/16/2012 10:51:52 AM PST by Roccus
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To: GunRunner
Fish oil and glucosamine/chondroitin for my arthritis. Vitamin D supplements because I've been indoors a lot, and I live at a latitude that doesn't expose me to the sun much. Trying to cook with coconut oil because it seems this may have some positive influence on brain function.

Lots of protein--fish, chicken, meat, bacon, ham, whole-milk cheeses, eggs. Butter, cream, goat-milk yogurt.

NO WHEAT products or anything containing HFCS, almost no sugar. Fruit is an occasional indulgence. Carbohydrates come from vegetables and salad, without commercial-type dressings and toppings on the salads. When you start reading labels, you realize that there is an incredible amount of sugar in everything you find in a grocery, and it screws your health up seriously.

Look at the Wheat Belly Diet I am not sensitive to gluten at all, but I think this guy really has it nailed. Our digestive systems did not evolve to handle the grain products we've been eating for the last five or ten thousand years, and we do better with a more protein-based diet. The "well-balanced" rice/pasta/potato high-carb diet the federal government has been pushing on us for years has led to diabetes, obesity, and cardiovascular disease for millions of people, problems that hardly affected our ancestors at all.

So this means giving up all the things I love--bread, standard doughnuts, pasta, rice, cornbread, muffins, and candy. However, after a week or so of cold-turkey withdrawal, you start not wanting this stuff anymore, and the idea of eating a piece of cake starts to seem nauseating. The Wheat Belly Diet does involve a lot of delicious breads and treats made with non-wheat flours, so it's not all bad.

After I had each of my kids, I lost scores of pounds eating a protein/vegetables diet. I can share clothes with my daughter, my blood sugar is back in the normal range, my asthma is much improved, my skin looks fantastic for my age, my arthritis doesn't bother me much, I'm sleeping better, and I have a lot of energy.

Caveat: I am really poor right now and don't have the money for treats and snacks anyway. It saves money if I don't buy snacks but just live on eggs, cheese, and the venison my son shoots for us. I truly can't afford drugs, so eating to minimize inflammation helps a lot.

And I'm not a total prude. Believe me, there will be some bourbon or sherry at this time of year and champagne at New Year's.

Good luck. It's really worth it. Just dont' think of dieting as a temporary fix. It's for the rest of your life (with the occasional slice of mince pie at Christmas!)

37 posted on 12/16/2012 10:51:52 AM PST by ottbmare (The OTTB Mare)
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To: umgud

I ain’t hit that level yet but if I was still married to my dear ex the memory loss would be a blessing.


38 posted on 12/16/2012 10:52:11 AM PST by Little Bill (A)
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To: CaptainK

I don’t lift OR do cardio. I get a lot of exercise hiking in the woods with my dog(s), doing yardwork, and—most exhausting and demanding—taking care of and riding horses. They really keep me fit, keeping my stomach muscles dead-flat and strengthening my back. If I can’t ride, everything starts to slide pretty quickly because I have a sedentary job.


39 posted on 12/16/2012 11:02:16 AM PST by ottbmare (The OTTB Mare)
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To: niteowl77

My favorite episode of age disconnect was when by daughter was a teenager, her and a friend were looking through old pix and they came across one of me from 83-85ish. Her friend looked up and said “Oh my God, that’s you!”

Well duh of course it’s me.

“No I mean it’s YOU! what are you a Vampire? You look exactly the same!”

Odd...She didn’t come over often after that... ;)

Even at 40, some of her then military friends I met couldn’t believe I was old enough to be her father. (I was 23 when she was born).

They wouldn’t make that mistake today.


40 posted on 12/16/2012 11:04:31 AM PST by Norm Lenhart
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To: Little Bill

I have that problem with my three-year-old granddaughter.

I know what she wants for Christmas is a real tool kit not a kiddy kit.


41 posted on 12/16/2012 11:26:57 AM PST by angry elephant (Endangered species in Seattle)
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To: virgil283

Resiliency


42 posted on 12/16/2012 11:28:58 AM PST by CPT Clay (Follow me on Twitter @Clay N TX)
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To: Ditter

In my 70’s, I look at friends my age and thank God how healthy I am. I am still active in the American Legion, I made 250 calls with the volunteeer Rescue Squad so far this year, and still ride the motorcycle about 7,000 miles a year.

However I have noticed that a bit of shrinkage has slipped in on me. You older guys know what I am talking about. that is a bit worrisome LOL.


43 posted on 12/16/2012 11:33:22 AM PST by Venturer
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Yes, I continue to be amazed at how different people are.

But I am also amazed at how little I care about the differences (I am much more tolerant) and I care even less about what others think of me.

And I sleep like a baby.


44 posted on 12/16/2012 11:35:07 AM PST by Vermont Lt (We are so screwed.)
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To: angry elephant
Keep her away from your tools. My son went through several thousand $ of my stuff and complains when I want borrow a screw driver.
45 posted on 12/16/2012 11:40:39 AM PST by Little Bill (A)
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To: patriotsblood
If I wake up in the morning and something isn't hurting I think I'm dead.

I turned 50 two weeks ago.......

46 posted on 12/16/2012 11:43:52 AM PST by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: virgil283

If youth only knew

And age only could...


47 posted on 12/16/2012 12:52:27 PM PST by Paisan
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To: virgil283

I’m 51, I’m too heavy but I’ve been heavy all my life, in a wrestler/defensive guard sort of way. One good thing is that I got involved in martial arts in the late 70’s and my flexibility has stayed very good ever since, no chronic illnesses, no aches or pains. I also went the route of hardening my hands and still pound the makiwara on occaison, it never led to arthritis as some said it would.

Another blessing was that after 9-11 I got a wild hair and decided to boycott gasoline and walk everywhere...it became a habit and I still walk everywhere. Today I needed some bread and a 5mi walk to get it was a nice way to start the day.

In most regards I’d say I’m as healthy as ever, the only difference now is that if I don’t exercise I feel things go downhill more rapidly. I don’t lift weights anymore, but I do more dynamic tension type exercises similar to what they call sanchin, plus I do get out in some manual labor jobs on occaison, somehow I’m recommended when there’s heavy lifting to be done. I have a small underground biz that pays my bills, but a few days of manual labor from time to time seems like getting paid to go to the gym.

My mom is 80 and she was always an iron sergeant, now in the last year she’s gone downhill quick. She’s very depressed and frightened by it, and it was a shock to all of us, becsuse she’s always been so indestructible.

So, I’m hoping that daily walking and activity plus some of the chinese exercises keep me at a high state of preservation for the long run...because there’s no one to take care of me but me.


48 posted on 12/16/2012 2:06:43 PM PST by fattigermaster
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To: null and void

Lol! Don’t you love being on the dark side and having cookies?!? I haven’t worn gloves for dishwashing since forever. I enjoy being the leathery, opinionated old bat.


49 posted on 12/16/2012 6:30:50 PM PST by Silentgypsy (If you love your freedom, thank a vet.)
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To: null and void

You are *so* correct!


50 posted on 12/16/2012 6:34:42 PM PST by Silentgypsy (If you love your freedom, thank a vet.)
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