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How an Orthodox Jew might look at a Christmas Tree... (humor)
Me | 12/23/12 | Nachum

Posted on 12/23/2012 6:45:09 PM PST by Nachum

The Cohen family was on very good terms with their Roman Catholic neighbours, the O'Briens. In fact, little Yaakov Cohen and Christopher O'Brien from next door would play together from time to time. Or at least they used to.

Well, one late December's day, Duncan O'Brien came storming in to the Cohen's house holding poor Yaakov by the ear. "Your son is not going near my Chris again; he just has no respect for us and our religion!"

"What's the matter; what did he do?" enquired Mr. Cohen. "I'll tell you" said Duncan "he saw our Christmas tree and started making fun."

"Really, what did he say?" continued Mr. Cohen.

Duncan said, "He saw our tree and started asking all sorts of ridiculous questions - which kinds of pine trees can be used for a Christmas tree? What's the minimum required height? How close to the window does it need to be? Do too many decorations render it unfit? What if it's under a neighbour's balcony?!"


TOPICS: Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS: christmas; jew; tree
As posted recently on Facebook.

A merry Christmas to all my Christian friends here at FR.... :)

1 posted on 12/23/2012 6:45:17 PM PST by Nachum
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To: Nachum

Only a Jew will get this! LMBO!!!!


2 posted on 12/23/2012 6:48:54 PM PST by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: Marie

oh, groan.


3 posted on 12/23/2012 6:51:00 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Nachum
Sounds like little Yaakov is looking forward to a career as a government bureaucrat.
4 posted on 12/23/2012 6:51:37 PM PST by Gay State Conservative (When Robbing Peter To Pay Paul,One Can Always Count On Paul's Cooperation)
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To: Nachum

Maybe a Roman Catholic might have regulations for such things, but a Baptist will tell you that salvation is by grace through faith and so it doesn’t matter if the tree were purple as long as you believe. (In Jesus, not the tree....)


5 posted on 12/23/2012 6:54:41 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Gay State Conservative

The Talmud has more spiritual red tape than any bureaucracy....


6 posted on 12/23/2012 6:56:34 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Marie; Nachum

I enjoyed it greatly—and I’m Catholic (but I teach Scripture and have a great admiration for rabbinic exegesis, thought I don’t know it nearly as well as I would like). There are similar strands of funny legalism in some schools of Catholic theology. I have a great work of moral theology (four volumes) by a Jesuit from the late 1930’s that has huge lacunae of many sorts, but is worth the purchase price for the paragraphs explaining where and why beavers are fish.


7 posted on 12/23/2012 7:14:31 PM PST by Hieronymus ( (It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged. --G.K. Chesterton))
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To: Nachum

How about the profit Jeremiah giving a perspective to a pagan practice

“Jer 10:3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
Jer 10:4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.
Jer 10:5 They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good. “

In history this practice was a form of false worship, according to God, through Jeremiah.


8 posted on 12/23/2012 7:15:03 PM PST by foundedonpurpose (It's time for a fundamental restoration, of our country's principles!)
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To: Nachum
Admiring the Christmas trees displayed in his neighbour's windows, Peter asks his father, 'Daddy, can we have a *Hanukkah Tree?'

'What? No, of course not,' says his father.

'Why not?' asks Peter again.

Bewildered, his father replies, 'Because the last time we had dealings with a lighted bush we spent 40 years in the wilderness.'

A Blessed Christmas To All My Christian Freeper Friends!!!

9 posted on 12/23/2012 7:15:13 PM PST by SkyDancer (Live your life in such a way that the Westboro church will want to picket your funeral.)
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To: Nachum

LOL! Love it!!!! That’s gonna be one, Kosher tree!

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas, Nachum!

As I have taught my kids about our faiths.....we’re both going to enjoy His ascendancy......whether it be the first time.....or the second! He’s coming all the same and it will be awesome!


10 posted on 12/23/2012 7:17:10 PM PST by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Great vid by ShorelineMike! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOZjJk6nbD4&feature=plcp)
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To: Nachum

That was cute.


11 posted on 12/23/2012 7:30:16 PM PST by Tax-chick (If I had two dead rats, I'd give you one.)
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To: HiTech RedNeck; rmlew; Nachum; Jewbacca; Eleutheria5

LOL! (and I didn’t even have a yeshiva education).


12 posted on 12/23/2012 7:31:38 PM PST by Yehuda
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To: foundedonpurpose

And if this is actually taken as though it were a citation today against the practice of Christmas trees, it is a tired old canard based on the fallacy that some superficial degree of similarity constitutes identity. Has any even quasi-orthodox Christian you know of ever worshiped a Christmas tree? I didn’t think so. This is not the practice by which pagans actually thought the trees were gods. Although I’d wonder about cutting down trees if I did believe that, as these gods would get rather peeved at such an action if they did exist as claimed.


13 posted on 12/23/2012 7:35:40 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Hieronymus
"...is worth the purchase price for the paragraphs explaining where and why beavers are fish."

LOL. Some of the early Spanish explorers of the Gulf Coast developed a fondness for Manatee for similar reasons. At least one journal entry refers to it as the fish that tastes like beef.

14 posted on 12/23/2012 7:37:06 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Hieronymus
the paragraphs explaining where and why beavers are fish

Just dam.

Actually, the modern Jewish view of things religious couldn't exist without such rules because righteousness is based on how well one obeys a large list of commandments whose ramifications range from the sublime to the ridiculous. Correct categorizations are absolutely essential to any kind of assurance that one is obeying correctly.

That said, the sort of questions that comprised the punch line in the original article would be like asking whether it's okay for your Hanukkah latkes to be fried in corn oil vs. olive oil, butter, or chicken fat, and does it have to be on a gas stove or could it be electric?

15 posted on 12/23/2012 7:49:12 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Gay State Conservative

No, more likely a rabbi. Questions asked rabbis about minutiae of Jewish law usually require informational inputs such as species, distance, temperature, color, numbers, technique, dimensions, etc. It’s very exacting.


16 posted on 12/23/2012 8:41:36 PM PST by EinNYC
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To: foundedonpurpose
How about the “profit” Jeremiah giving a perspective to a pagan practice

It's the "prophet" Jeremiah

But rest is correct about the Bible on "Christmas" Trees

Just saying...

17 posted on 12/23/2012 8:59:26 PM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: HiTech RedNeck

“This is not the practice by which pagans actually thought the trees were gods. Although I’d wonder about cutting down trees if I did believe that, as these gods would get rather peeved at such an action if they did exist as claimed.”

Good point. My Irish grandmother, who was a faithful Catholic, told me about a tree back in her old country neighborhood, that was said to be inhabited by fairies (or maybe leprechauns, I’m not sure). Well, this tree was right smack in the middle of the farmer’s land, so he finally decided to cut it down.

No sooner had the axe struck the tree ONE TIME, but one of the farmer’s cows DROPPED DEAD. So the tree stayed as you can well imagine.

Now, my grandmother told me this as a true tale, and she could be a bit of a wag, but she hated FDR and ALL politicians. She would have LOVED Free Republic and fit right in here. So, you know, I believe this story.

More things in heaven and hell, etc.


18 posted on 12/23/2012 9:26:35 PM PST by jocon307
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To: RedMonqey; foundedonpurpose

But rest is correct about the Bible on “Christmas” Trees


You are banking an awful lot on a very narrow reading of English words capturing precisely the original Hebrew—or perhaps you hold that the translation that you favour is more inspired than the original.

I’m fairly sure that my tree was cut down with a chainsaw, it is not fastened with nails, it moves all too much, and there is no silver or gold—but even if you can discount these things, and by some chance Jeremiah was dealing with Christmas trees, the passage does not close “get rid of them”but
“be not afreaid of them, for they cannot do evil, neither is it in them to do good.”

Merry Chirstmas!!!


19 posted on 12/23/2012 9:35:14 PM PST by Hieronymus ( (It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged. --G.K. Chesterton))
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To: Nachum

:-)


20 posted on 12/23/2012 10:13:45 PM PST by expat1000
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To: RedMonqey

Superficial similarity does not amount to sameness... sigh.

This was a description of a practice by which a cut tree was actually worshiped. Noting that nobody does that with a Christmas tree should be “the end of the story.” Too many Christians get hung up over this kind of fantastical-legalistic, superficial similarity and end up going nowhere spiritually.


21 posted on 12/23/2012 10:33:09 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Hieronymus
You are banking an awful lot on a very narrow reading of English words capturing precisely the original Hebrew—

That could be said about every word in the Bible through ALL it's translations.

But don't worry.

All I said I agree it is in the Bible.

Not that one is going to Eternal Damnation because one puts up a tree out of custom, an evergreen that has lost all its original nordic-pagean meaning.

Maybe if you are are offering sacrefices to a long forgoted nordic deity.(any Thor, Frieda worshipers here?)

If you accept the Jesus as your Lord and Savior, I don't believe you're be held wanting on the Day of Judgement if you hang a little mistletoe(another pagaen custom) on a certain day(date) of the year(which is also pagaen in origins)

This is for the the purist who say "if it ain't in the Bible, Jesus wouldn't approve."crowd

(Don't get me started on the Sunday vs. the Saturday Sabbath)
22 posted on 12/23/2012 10:35:24 PM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: HiTech RedNeck
Superficial similarity does not amount to sameness... sigh.

Please reference Post 22.
23 posted on 12/23/2012 10:38:26 PM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: Hieronymus

Truly, you get the point. It was a pagan practice intended to facilitate the invocation of made-up pagan gods that somehow would be associated with the mounted and decorated tree. The Hebrew prophet was telling the Jewish people not to either place their hope in, or be worried about, any supposed power that pagans could invoke with their silly god-tree. The modern Christmas tree, as used by Christians, is put in place as a decoration in honor of a God that no Christian should have any argument with, and is afforded no spiritual power. It might be unwise to have a Christmas tree around if one were going to be visited by such a pagan, lest he get the wrong idea. But who’s going to stumble into worshiping a Christmas tree today?

Superficial similarities do not amount to equality. The road that claims such equality is the road to every sort of superstition.


24 posted on 12/23/2012 10:44:31 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: HiTech RedNeck
Superficial similarity does not amount to sameness... sigh.

Please reference Post 22.
25 posted on 12/23/2012 10:45:34 PM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: RedMonqey

This is the spiritual equivalent of the drive-by shooting.

“Ah, it’s in the bible” and then to pointedly fail to identify the proper referent.


26 posted on 12/23/2012 10:45:59 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: RedMonqey

I did. You committed a spiritual drive-by shooting. All manner of disclaimer “oooooh, this isn’t the UNFORGIVABLE SIN” — quite COMPLETELY misses the gravity of your misapplication of Scripture.


27 posted on 12/23/2012 10:49:59 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Marie
Only a Jew will get this! LMBO!!!!

...or those with enough Jewish friends. (Do I have a minyan yet?)

28 posted on 12/23/2012 11:38:27 PM PST by InMemoriam
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To: InMemoriam

:o)


29 posted on 12/24/2012 1:38:42 AM PST by QBFimi (When gunpowder speaks, beasts listen.)
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To: Nachum
Merry CHRISTmas Nachum,
My Jewish component burst out laughing, the rest of me is staring at it waiting for the explanation. :)
30 posted on 12/24/2012 3:41:17 AM PST by moose07 (The truth will out, one day.)
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To: Nachum

OK I’m baffled ... in side joke! I’m on the outside, someone fill me in.


31 posted on 12/24/2012 4:39:06 AM PST by stonehouse01 (Equal rights for unborn women)
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To: stonehouse01
OK I’m baffled ... in side joke! I’m on the outside, someone fill me in.

The joke is that this is how Orthodox Jews look at Jewish law and the child applied this to the tree :)

32 posted on 12/24/2012 6:51:44 AM PST by Nachum (The List is off the Google blacklist- www.nachumlist.com)
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To: HiTech RedNeck
You committed a spiritual drive-by shooting.

In the season of the season, Merry Christmas.
33 posted on 12/24/2012 7:44:06 AM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: HiTech RedNeck
You committed a spiritual drive-by shooting.

Correction:

In the spirit of the season, Merry Christmas.
34 posted on 12/24/2012 7:46:06 AM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: Nachum

Thanks - now I get it!! (cute story- perhaps a future rabbi in the making)


35 posted on 12/24/2012 7:49:11 AM PST by stonehouse01 (Equal rights for unborn women)
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To: Nachum

Thanks for the explanation, I was thinking the kid was being brought up to work in the local building dept.

Now, can you explain what wrong with eating pork? I’ve wondered about that for many years?


36 posted on 12/24/2012 10:57:20 AM PST by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123, Bahbah, and Just Lori.)
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To: RedMonqey

Alleged, contentless “correction” to what?

Christmas does not excuse nonsense, as you yourself would aver even though with a mistaken example.


37 posted on 12/24/2012 11:02:03 AM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Springman

Pork? There are only four animals that are kosher to eat. The general rule is kosher animals must have cloven hooves and chew their cud. All others are not kosher. Kosher law is spiritual only.


38 posted on 12/24/2012 11:38:09 AM PST by Nachum (The List is off the Google blacklist- www.nachumlist.com)
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To: Marie

I’m a Christian and I get it. Love you, Marie. Meeeery Christmas. HO ho ho. : )


39 posted on 12/24/2012 12:03:30 PM PST by SaraJohnson
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To: Nachum

Thank you for the explanation, it make sense now.


40 posted on 12/24/2012 12:23:23 PM PST by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123, Bahbah, and Just Lori.)
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To: Nachum

I WAS THE ONLY GENTILE IN A NEW YORK JEWISH NEIGHBORHOOD.

MY BEST FRIENDS WOULD COME OVER AND DECORATE THE “HANUKKAH BUSH” WHILE I DID THE CHRISTMAS TREE


41 posted on 12/24/2012 12:32:26 PM PST by slorunner
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To: slorunner

Excellent :)


42 posted on 12/24/2012 12:33:08 PM PST by Nachum (The List is off the Google blacklist- www.nachumlist.com)
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To: HiTech RedNeck
Alleged, contentless “correction” to what?

The “allegged“ “correction” was to the grammatical error in the previous post #33

"In the season of the season, Merry Christmas."

The correct is:

In the spirit of the season, Merry Christmas.

I see that any well wishing you is a completely wasted effort as it will be see as excuse nonsense. (humbug?)

I stand by what I said.

It's your problem you can't comprehend what is posted.
43 posted on 12/24/2012 1:02:48 PM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: RedMonqey

Eep, eep.


44 posted on 12/24/2012 1:08:18 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Nachum

ROFL!!! never heard that one before!!

I adore Christmas lights! I was so happy when the neighbors started putting them up. I will be so sad they will take them all down. So beautiful. I love driving home or walking around and seeing all the beautiful trees in the window. And now in my new neighborhood there were a few other menorahs around! The kids were so happy to see we aren’t the only ones on the block any more!

(And one of the menorah houses was also a Romney house. Omgoodness! I feel less alone in the world!)


45 posted on 12/24/2012 1:14:05 PM PST by Yaelle
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To: SaraJohnson

Love you, too, Sara! You have a great Christmas! :-D


46 posted on 12/24/2012 7:51:07 PM PST by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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