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Congressman Says There's No Public Safety Case for Big Magazines
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 Jan 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/18/2013 5:29:27 PM PST by John Semmens

Representative Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) made a strenuous argument for limiting the number of bullets a given gun ought to be able to fire before needing to be reloaded.

“I find the argument that a person might need more than two or three shots to defend himself from an assailant unconvincing,” Nadler said. “I mean, if you're that bad of a shot giving you more bullets seems like it would be a greater threat to public safety than if the attacker murders you.”

Nadler maintained that “a dispassionate look at the numbers is what I'm arguing for. A victim wildly spraying multiple rounds from a high-capacity magazine runs the risk of harming multiple innocent bystanders. Put this next to the prospect of a single victim being harmed by his assailant and I think most would agree with me.”

The Congressman pointed out that “there's nothing in the magazine size restrictions I am proposing that would prohibit a person from hiring a person trained in the use of firearms to provide armed protection. It would be safer because trained professionals don't need multiple rounds to take down an attacker.”

“Fortunately, for the vast majority of Americans, trained professionals working as city police are just minutes away in case of emergency,” Nadler added. “I see no reason to accommodate the paranoid minority who aren't satisfied with the collective security were are already providing.”

In related news, Senator Al Franken (D-Minn) sought to counter the NRA's suggestion that we protect our school children from homicidal maniacs by posting armed guards. “That would just add more guns to an already volatile situation,” Franken asserted. “What I propose is that anyone attempting to enter a school with a weapon be required to submit to a battery of mental health tests before being allowed in. That way we could identify those who are dangerous and get them treatment instead of just shooting them like the NRA wants us to do.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/126731-2013-01-18-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-january-20-2013.htm


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: criminals; democrats; guns; satire

1 posted on 01/18/2013 5:29:33 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 01/18/2013 5:31:33 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


3 posted on 01/18/2013 5:31:48 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
Nadler, who needed his tummy stapled to eat less than a dozen donuts at a sitting, seems to think that we are all trick shots able to shoot guns out of people's hands with one shot. It doesn't work that way. The NYPD is known to spray 40 bullets to take down a perp. (Heck, they are known to kill bystandards.)
If Nadler wants to help the saftey of New Yorkers, he will press the NYPD to practice tactical drills to reduce errant shots.
4 posted on 01/18/2013 5:34:41 PM PST by rmlew ("Mosques are our barracks, minarets our bayonets, domes our helmets, the believers our soldiers.")
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What a complete JAGOFF this joke for a Congressman truly is.


5 posted on 01/18/2013 5:37:14 PM PST by NoRedTape
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To: John Semmens

I got all the way to the end without realizing it was satire. The story is completely believable.


6 posted on 01/18/2013 5:37:39 PM PST by Steve1789 (I miss having a president who loves this country.)
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To: John Semmens

Nadler is a real fascist pig ~ obviously there are handicapped folks around who might well need more than 50 rounds to take down a hulking freakshow like himself.


7 posted on 01/18/2013 5:38:06 PM PST by muawiyah
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To: John Semmens

heh. “No ‘nads” Nadler is satire without any help.


8 posted on 01/18/2013 5:38:46 PM PST by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: John Semmens

“... the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”

Sounds like this fat bureaucrat wants to infringe.

Why should this man and other bureaucrats have any right to decide the size of gun magazines?


9 posted on 01/18/2013 5:38:54 PM PST by Theo (May Christ be exalted above all.)
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To: John Semmens

If placed in a life-threatening situation, one tends to have diminished marksmanship. The NYPD proves this all the time.
Having more rounds in a magazine will improve one’s odds of actually hitting what one is shooting at. Duh...it’s not rocket science.


10 posted on 01/18/2013 5:39:51 PM PST by 3Fingas (Sons and Daughters of Freedom, Committee of Correspondence)
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To: John Semmens

I’m all for limiting the number of words Nadler is allowed to utter in any given day.

He’d still have his First Amendment right, it would just be limited to five words or less.


11 posted on 01/18/2013 5:44:11 PM PST by smoothsailing
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To: John Semmens

Fine.

Jerrold “The Hutt” Nadler and his bodyguards can get rid of all their standard capacity magazines. That’s OK with me.


12 posted on 01/18/2013 5:46:33 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: Steve1789
LOL! Brilliant satire.

There's no public safety case for BIG CHEESEBURGERS.

What's a good morbidly obese liberal stomach stapled freak to do when his Bloomberg "god" has outlawed trans-fats and big sodas in NYC?

Betcha he "imports" Philly cheesesteaks under the table from Jersey.

13 posted on 01/18/2013 5:48:47 PM PST by boop ("You don't look so bad, here's another")
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To: John Semmens

HA!
That sounds like something Franken would say.


14 posted on 01/18/2013 5:54:55 PM PST by cruise_missile
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Please donate for the gift.

Attention everyone!
Please help with this wonderful gift to the good Representatives.
Show our true admiration, adoration for their fantastic ideas.
I'm absolutely positive that they will appreciate the continued success of
Free Republic.

15 posted on 01/18/2013 6:03:23 PM PST by RedMDer (HEY LIBS! GUN FREE ZONE T-SHIRTS AVAILABLE NOW. I DARE YA!)
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To: John Semmens

The flippin’ fascist tyrants in Washington are reason enough for high capacity mags!


16 posted on 01/18/2013 6:04:52 PM PST by meyer (When people fear the government, you have Tyranny)
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To: John Semmens
“What I propose is that anyone attempting to enter a school with a weapon be required to submit to a battery of mental health tests before being allowed in.

LOL!

17 posted on 01/18/2013 6:05:42 PM PST by RedMDer (HEY LIBS! GUN FREE ZONE T-SHIRTS AVAILABLE NOW. I DARE YA!)
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To: John Semmens

Nadler knows BIG


18 posted on 01/18/2013 6:13:10 PM PST by bigbob
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To: Steve1789

“I got all the way to the end without realizing it was satire. The story is completely believable.”

I had to scroll back up to see.

At what point is something so close to the thruth that it is no longer satire ?


19 posted on 01/18/2013 6:34:48 PM PST by PLMerite (Shut the Beyotch Down! Burn, baby, burn!)
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To: John Semmens

How many bystanders did NY cops shoot last summer to kill one guy, 9?


20 posted on 01/18/2013 6:42:56 PM PST by School of Rational Thought (Fun for women ages 21 through 35)
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To: PLMerite
At what point is something so close to the thruth that it is no longer satire ?

That occurred to me. Satire should be recognizable as such. This is not.

21 posted on 01/18/2013 6:52:12 PM PST by Steve1789 (I miss having a president who loves this country.)
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To: John Semmens

Haha, nice.


22 posted on 01/18/2013 7:01:58 PM PST by andyk (I have sworn...eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.)
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To: John Semmens

Heh heh...


23 posted on 01/18/2013 8:00:32 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
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To: John Semmens
“What I propose is that anyone attempting to enter a school with a weapon be required to submit to a battery of mental health tests before being allowed in. "

Well, at least is would keep most politicians and a large number of 'educators' out of the schools.

/sarc.....maybe

24 posted on 01/18/2013 8:03:47 PM PST by BwanaNdege ("To learn who rules over you simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize"- Voltaire)
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To: John Semmens

I think anyone trying to enter Congess be subjected to a battery of mental health tests, Mr. Franken.

Only kidding...or not. :)


25 posted on 01/18/2013 8:47:45 PM PST by berdie
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To: John Semmens
...If anyone deserves to suffer it is those who selfishly save money that they could've spent to help stimulate the economy. The trillion dollar deficits of the current Administration have enabled the Federal Reserve to incrementally siphon off what would otherwise be sitting sterile in these fools' 'rainy day' funds

Semmens channels Krugman

Another fine column. BTW, John, I do believe that you might have reeled in a near record number of (very nice) folks who sorta skipped past the..."semi-satire" part.

.

26 posted on 01/18/2013 10:53:41 PM PST by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: John Semmens

I’m always amazed at how many people get suckered by your posts.


27 posted on 01/19/2013 5:24:58 AM PST by wastedyears (Obama and Democrats to Republicans: "LOL!")
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To: rmlew
The NYPD is known to spray 40 bullets to take down a perp.

Unless you are using a Ma Deuce, it might take 40 rounds to stop him too.


28 posted on 01/19/2013 6:04:54 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (0 bummer inherited a worse economy in 2012 than he did in 2008.)
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To: John Semmens
“What I propose is that anyone attempting to enter a school with a weapon political office be required to submit to a battery of mental health tests before being allowed to run. That way we could identify those who are dangerous too stupid and get them treatment instead".

That would leave Franken as unemployable by any company, much less as a member of congress. Good one again as usual. Sure used some stinky bait to catch the catfish.

29 posted on 01/19/2013 6:19:00 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (0 bummer inherited a worse economy in 2012 than he did in 2008.)
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To: John Semmens
Of course a leader of a growing tyranny will want to curtail any resistance before it can be started
30 posted on 01/19/2013 6:52:39 AM PST by fella ("As it was before Noah, so shall it be again,")
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To: John Semmens

So I guess there is no reason for law enforcement to have clips larger than 7 rounds?


31 posted on 01/19/2013 9:22:17 AM PST by Mike Darancette (Soylent Green is Boomers)
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To: John Semmens

John, this is perfect. Do you know how to capture their warped thought processes or what?

Thanks once again for the ping.


32 posted on 01/19/2013 1:55:44 PM PST by fatnotlazy
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