Posted on 02/12/2013 10:37:31 AM PST by John Semmens
Citing limited resources and a surging murder rate, the City of Chicago announced new rules for how 911 calls are to be handled. From this point on, simple property crimes will no longer qualify for immediate, or possibly any, attention.
Chicago Deputy Chief-of-Patrol Steve Georgas explained that “last year over 500 people were murdered in our city. Obviously, with this serious mayhem underway we don’t have time for the small stuff. If somebody shoots somebody else we’ve got to have the resources available to respond. This has to take priority over mere theft.”
The change was directed by Mayor Rahm Emanuel. “When you get right down to it, what is a burglary but an ad hoc redistribution of property,” the Mayor contended. “Whether these types of redistributions should be routinely condemned as we have been doing is a complex issue. In any case, I don’t think we can justify the expense of sending a 911 response team. Adjudicating these disputes at a less hectic pace seems appropriate.”
Cases rejected for 911 response teams will be diverted to the Department’s Alternate Response Section. Victims will be offered the opportunity to relay information by phone so a case file can be created. Victims who recover any of their stolen property are asked to notify the Alternate Response Section so these files may be closed out.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2013/02/09/administration-asserts-right-to-assassinate-enemies/
Believe it or not, this is actually more truth thn satire.
Chicago Police announced last week they will no longer respond to burglary calls or stolen vehicle calls immediately, unless the caller can prove their physical well being is in immediate danger.
This means its now a free for all in Chitcago for burglars and car thieves. They no longer have to worry about being caught while actually committing the crime b the Chitcago police.
But if I SHOOT the sunova beach while he's driving off, you'll put me on a list, first come, first served ?
Why not plow Chi under and let it fallow for 7 years ?
Public Enemy was right, “911 Is a Joke.”
“The change was directed by Mayor Rahm Emanuel. “When you get right down to it, what is a burglary but an ad hoc redistribution of property,” the Mayor contended. “Whether these types of redistributions should be routinely condemned as we have been doing is a complex issue. In any case, I don’t think we can justify the expense of sending a 911 response team. Adjudicating these disputes at a less hectic pace seems appropriate.” “
Not surprised he would say this.....
Just damn!
Chicago needs a new sheriff, like Milwaukee County’s sheriff.
One shot dead perp probably won’t reach the criteria level for a 911 response. You very well may have to stack’em up until you get a pile big enough to generate enough interest.
A guy was going up to bed when his wife told him
that he’d left the light on in the garden shed,
which she could see from the bedroom window.
He opened the back door to go turn off the light
but saw that there were people in the shed stealing
things.
He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your
house?” and he said no. Then they said that all patrols
were busy, and that he should simply lock his door
and an officer would be along when available.
He said “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phoned
the police again. “Hello. I just called you a few
seconds ago because there were people in my shed.
Well, you don’t have to worry about them now cause
I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed
Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the
residence.
Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to the guy:
“I thought you said that you’d shot them!”
The man replied, “I thought you said there was
nobody available!”
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