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DUmmie FUnnies 02-25-13 (Sequester disaster! DUmmies blame Rethuglicans!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | February 25, 2013 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 02/25/2013 9:58:59 AM PST by Charles Henrickson

Last week President Obama held a photo op an important news conference in which he warned Americans of the dire, disastrous consequences if the Eeevil Republicans have their way and the dreaded, draconian SEQUESTER goes into effect!! Jobs will be lost! Vital services will be lost!! LIVES will be lost!!! Planes will fall out of the sky! First responders won't be there to respond! Teachers will be out of a job! Roads and bridges! Crumbling infrastructure! SCHOOLS! Children's SCHOOLS, Mandrake! The Children--think of The Children!!!!

"My fellow Americans, just look at these carefully selected stage props these brave first responders standing here behind me! Look at their nice spiffy uniforms! See the pretty blonde lady! See the African-Americans! We've even thrown a couple white guys in there too. I think one of them may be Hispanic. But the point is, they will all be out of a job AND LIVES WILL BE LOST if we don't stop those mean, nasty Republicans!"

The President, who is in Permanent Campaign Mode (PCM), conveniently leaves out a few facts. Like, he himself had signed the sequester bill into law. Like, the sequester "cuts" would amount to about 2% of current spending--in other words, back to the spending levels of just a few years ago. Like, HOW the spending cuts would be APPLIED, which services and programs would be cut, would be up to . . . him, President Obama, the Chief Executive. If he wants to threaten to eliminate first responders or let airplanes fall out of the sky, that would be his choice. He COULD choose to cut other, less "vital" programs, such as: Free cell phones for Obama voters. Diversity indoctrination training for the military. Push-up training for transgendered female recruits, so they can do five push-ups wearing their specially issued push-up bras. That sort of thing. But no. Can't cut those things. Planes will fall out of the sky first.

Obama's Obedient Media (OOM) lap it all up. They've got Fiscal Cliff 2.0 to play with. Obama's Obedimedia couldn't be happier.

And the DUmmies--well, the DUmmies of course swallow the snake oil that Our President is selling. We're all gonna die!! Women and minorities hardest hit! And it's all the Rethuglicans' fault. Boehner, he's the chief villain. Johnny Sequest. Cryin' Sequest.

We'll look at just a couple of the DUmmieland threads, namely, this THREAD, "Obama Warns Looming Sequester Would Devastate Economy," and this THREAD, "MSNBC's Matthews: Sequester Cuts Are a 'Doomsday Machine."

So let us now go to DUmmieland and witness the deep doom and despair, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who would prefer to see government spending cut by at least 50%, is in the sequestered [brackets]:

Obama Warns Looming Sequester Would Devastate Economy

[We're all gonna DIE!!!!!!!!!!]

Source: NBC NEWS

[What a surprise.]

President Barack Obama used his bully pulpit Tuesday . . .

[President Barack Obama used his bullsh*t teleprompter Tuesday . . .]

to warn of calamitous consequences for the U.S. economy should the automatic spending cuts known as the “sequester” go into effect next Friday.

[Calamitous!! Then there are some predictable quotes from the clown. Blah, blah, blah. So let's go to the DUmmies . . .]

Obama proposed sequestration knowing the danger.

[QUIET! QUIET! DON'T SAY THAT!]

Saying that 'Obama proposed sequestation' is like parents proposing to pay a ransom to the people who are holding their child.

[They're holding our CHILD! That's what this is! BAD Rethuglicans! EEEVIL Rethuglicans!!!]

I think people are getting wise to the Republican strategy of screw the middle-class and the poor just so the 1% gets richer.

[Think no deeper than that. That's all you need to know. On everything.]

The problem with the United States is this extremist Republican Party led mostly by certain males in the South. The sooner these racists are gotten rid of in Government the better the U.S. will be off.

[Send them off to Gitmo! Sequester them there!]

The Republican Party can kiss my behind!

[Calm down, benburch!]

The Republican party is the party of angry old white men. Hopefully, as these angry old white men stop voting. . . .

[Kill the angry old white men! Death panels!]

$85 billion of the 3.8 Trillion dollar Budget is around 2.8% of the Budget.

[QUIET! Don't confuse us with the facts! People will lose their JOBS! People are gonna DIE!!]

Mr. President, Sir . . . please stop with the scare tactics.

[What else does he got? He's the Fearmongerer-in-Chief. But please continue, DUmmie Myrina, with your surprisingly sensible observations . . .]

it's BS and making all of the news-watching lemmings panic.

[Hmm, let me see if I can scrounge up enough money in our budget for a Kewpie Doll here . . .]

POTUS speaking in these terms makes it sound like at midnight, on March 1, the barn door will be left open and all the ooga-booga terraists will come flooding into the US and kill us all in our sleep. That's just not responsible Presidentin', in my opinion.

[And the winner . . . for Best Brief Moment of Mental Clarity by a DUmmie in a Sequester Thread is . . . {blows in envelope} . . . DUmmie Myrina! . . . {thunderous applause} . . . DUmmie Myrina, come up here and get your Kewpie! Love the dress, by the way. . . .]

It's all too damn big for me. From my limited understanding, there will be cuts to military spending, education, what little infrastructure we have left. Jobs will be lost, people who received federal assistance will lose it? Just, the scale of such a thing, the overall impact, is rather mind boggling. Are we talking about yet another recession? Or something worse? My understanding of economics is rather vague.

[We can see that, DUmmie davidthegnome.]

Make sure ALL the cuts take place in RED states only

[Can we have our taxes cut accordingly, too?]

Make them pay!

[GRRRRRR!!!!!! UNCONTROLLED RAGE!!! ANGRY WHITE DUMMIES GO WILD!!!]

So we're supposed to worry about $85 Billion a YEAR? I still think it's a bit overblown.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

MSNBC's Matthews: Sequester Cuts Are a "Doomsday Machine"

[That's MSDNC's Chrissy "Tingles" Matthews, the Voice of Reason, the Elder Statesman, Head Acolyte of Obama's Obedient Media (OOM).]

Chris Matthews: "It's a down and dirty world when you decide chopping down the government and hurting the economy is the smart move. But bring it all down is now the hard right battle cry. Slash spending, short the pentagon, screw up traffic control, whatever raises the noise level, bashes Democrats and lowers hope. Is this the tea party dream? Is this John Boehner's version of feeding time at the zoo, giving the crazies what they want so they will sit in their seats and behave? Is this final payment to insanity the last vestige of what calm Republicanism is ready to cough up? But how else can you explain the readiness of the GOP leadership to let this Frankenstein's monster, this doomsday machine, this sequestration go all out berserk? How else can we understand the party of Lincoln doing such economic damage to the Republic, such damage and moral to the people?"

[Brilliant. Such piercing analysis. Such calm, reasoned discourse. It sends a thrill up my leg.]

Did Matthews propose any spending reductions?

["Spending reductions"? "SPENDING REDUCTIONS"?? The Rethuglicans are holding our children hostage, and you're talking about "SPENDING REDUCTIONS"?? What kind of a moran are you???]

we need to spend MORE. . . . stimulus. . . . Huge investments in infrastructure along with work programs. . . . the wealthiest . . . mega corporations . . . taxes. . . . military must be cut drastically. . . .

[The "balanced approach."]

Read Time expose ruinous Health Care
Means test recipients, raise level of ss tax to a million, have Medicare reem bursement the norm. Double drug enforcement pn borders. Have pharmacutical companies
And doctors pay for opiate addiction treatment. Use cocaine sentence guidelines for opiate and meth dewlers.

[I think someone has been dewling in some opiate and meth him-or-herself. Reen forcement of DUmmies as dopes the norm. Brains test DUmmies. Double down pn disorders.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; obama; sequester
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To: Charles Henrickson
Chris Matthews: "It's a down and dirty world when you decide chopping down the government and hurting the economy is the smart move

Chopping down the government would be an awesome thing to help the economy

21 posted on 02/25/2013 12:17:39 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Charles Henrickson

A couple of interesting links.

http://blogs.desmoinesregister.com/dmr/index.php/2009/10/08/culver-orders-10-percent-across-the-board-cut

http://blogs.desmoinesregister.com/dmr/index.php/2013/01/24/state-housesenate-republicans-propose-750-tax-give-back-to-every-iowa-family/article


22 posted on 02/25/2013 3:13:34 PM PST by Winstons Julia (Hello OWS? We don't need a revolution like China's; China needs a revolution like OURS.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Can you add me to the ping on these. I love to read them and don’t always catch them.

Thanks,

TC


23 posted on 02/25/2013 3:30:36 PM PST by I_be_tc
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To: mom4melody
....even the most elementary accounting.

We have a neighbor who is an accountant and she voted for 0, just for 0 bummer care. NOW, she realizes it was a mistake.

24 posted on 02/25/2013 3:53:52 PM PST by Arrowhead1952 (Dims are stupid, period. End of conversation.)
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To: I_be_tc; PJ-Comix
Can you add me to the ping on these?

PJ-Comix is the DUFU Ping List master. PJ, we have a new pingee! Can you add I_be_tc to the list?

25 posted on 02/25/2013 4:29:45 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Draconian tagline!)
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To: Winstons Julia
The first link is from October of 2009, so I don't know what that has to do with the current situation.

The second link is more recent, from last month. Apparently, Iowa has a budget surplus. The Republicans want to give the surplus money back to the taxpayers who paid it. The Democrat leader objects, saying, "I guess I am not surprised it does nothing for those on the lowest rung on the economic ladder." Well, duh, they weren't the ones who paid the taxes!

Is that why you picked that link, WJ?

26 posted on 02/25/2013 4:40:17 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Draconian tagline!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I am so ashamed that my country is passing on long wait times at the airport to our children and grandchildren... The poor dears will just have to show up at the airport earlier than ever before. How will they cope?


27 posted on 02/25/2013 5:34:21 PM PST by FDNYRHEROES (It's 3 AM. Let me sleep on it. I'll get back to you in 16 hours.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

A friend who works for the government says she’s gonna take a 20% pay-cut across the board. Turns out, that will entail a 4-day work week instead of 5.


28 posted on 02/25/2013 5:41:44 PM PST by FDNYRHEROES (It's 3 AM. Let me sleep on it. I'll get back to you in 16 hours.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Oh come on Charles.

The governor called for across the board cuts due to a deficit.

He wouldn’t raise taxes.

People went “Oooh panic...things will be cut...”

It happened.

Now there’s a surplus.


29 posted on 02/25/2013 7:32:26 PM PST by Winstons Julia (Hello OWS? We don't need a revolution like China's; China needs a revolution like OURS.)
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To: Winstons Julia

OK, got it. I didn’t connect the dots.


30 posted on 02/25/2013 7:34:48 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Draconian tagline!)
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To: FDNYRHEROES

One of my students said his mother works for the Bureau of Prisons and will have to take two furlough days per month. So, to make up for the hours lost to the furlough, the department will require each employee to work overtime.

Uh, work 8 hours at time and a half so you can take 8 hours off on furlough to save money.

Sounds like a plan to me!


31 posted on 02/25/2013 9:51:41 PM PST by Stegall Tx (Living off your tax dollars can be kinda fun, but not terribly profitable.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Just to let everybody know that I'll be out of it until Sunday because I've been Walgreening it with Register Rewards coupons. Got myself a TON of FREE fish oil pills, toothpaste, and large bubble wrap envelops. Since it has been a long time since I've been doing the Walgreens routine I'm sort of on an uncontrollable coupon feeding frenzy right now. I should have a lot of down time again starting Sunday...unless I can put together an Alka Seltzer cold medicine deal....

P.S. I actually worked 12 hours straight on this yesterday and probably the same today. I'm feeling a LOT of Grey Goose in my near future.

32 posted on 02/26/2013 5:40:30 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Chicken Little Governing is the only way to describe how Obama governs.


33 posted on 02/26/2013 5:42:21 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: cripplecreek

LOL! I just stole your “BARACKALYPSE” graphic for future use.


34 posted on 02/26/2013 6:13:26 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: wbill
Anyway, split the difference and call it a 2.5% haircut. To put it into layman's terms, if you made $1000/week (a pretty decent salary, IMO) a 2.5% cut equates to $25/week.

Put it in terms of a $10,000 per month trust fund payment. How many fewer Bukowski's brews and cigarette packs would such a son of privilege be forced to consume? Come to think of it, it would be 2.5% from the increase so the Temporary SockPuppet would probably NOT have to cut back a bit.

35 posted on 02/26/2013 6:18:42 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson

:: It’s always a race to see who can play the race card first. ::

What is really noticeable about these “racism” cries is that they will almost always initially come from doughy, old, white guys.

Sissy Matthews thinks he’s “black enough” to represent?


36 posted on 02/26/2013 6:22:08 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (*Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alteration: The acronym explains the science.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I've been playing around with the effect lately. Here's one of my earlier ones too if you want it. Obamageddon with an arab motif

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
37 posted on 02/26/2013 6:26:01 AM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: I_be_tc

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #1063.


38 posted on 02/26/2013 6:27:24 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Beware the Rip in the Space/Time Continuum)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Won’t they be surprised after all the “angry old white men” are gone and there’s no money to confiscate to pay for their socialist utopia.


39 posted on 02/26/2013 8:50:00 AM PST by mrsmel (One Who Can See)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Obama Warns Looming Sequester Would Devastate Economy

Source: NBC NEWS

[What a surprise.]

NBC news should be Sequestered off the air...

Obama proposed sequestration knowing the danger.

[QUIET! QUIET! DON'T SAY THAT!]

LOL

I think people are getting wise to the Republican strategy of screw the middle-class and the poor just so the 1% gets richer.

I think people are getting wise to the Democrats strategy of screw the middle-class just so the 1% (who are DEMOCRATIC VOTERS) gets richer.

There fixed it!!

The problem with the United States is this extremist Republican Party led mostly by certain males in the South. The sooner these racists are gotten rid of in Government the better the U.S. will be off.

Liberals are so nice to talk to... CONSERVATIVES ARE RACISTS... and CONSERVATIVES only live in the SOUTH??? I didn't know Idaho and Utah was in the SOUTH..!!

$85 billion of the 3.8 Trillion dollar Budget is around 2.8% of the Budget.

[QUIET! Don't confuse us with the facts! People will lose their JOBS! People are gonna DIE!

My understanding of economics is rather vague.

Don't worry, DUmmie Davidthegnome, talk to Obama about economics...he will write a book.. 'Free market COMMUNISM for DUmmies'

we need to spend MORE. . . . stimulus. . . . Huge investments in infrastructure along with work programs. . . . the wealthiest . . . mega corporations . . . taxes. . . . military must be cut drastically. . . .

Are you a friend of RED CHINA?? Who will we borrow the money from??? The Klingons??

40 posted on 02/26/2013 9:21:03 AM PST by ExCTCitizen (More Republicans stayed home then the margin of victory of O's Win...)
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