Posted on 03/02/2013 12:01:32 PM PST by John Semmens
Continuing his campaign for more gun-control regulations, Vice-President Biden elaborated on the logic behind banning assault rifles and high-capacity magazines.
“Look, all a person needs for self-defense is a shotgun,” Biden contended. “Most people aren't going to be good enough shots to hit a target with a regular gun. With a shotgun you don't have to be an Annie Oakley. If you think someone is trying to break in, just fire the gun right through the door.”
That the idea of shooting someone sight unseen might not be a good one didn't seem to faze the VP. “I think most people can tell by the types of sounds coming through the door whether the person is a friend or foe,” Biden argued. The potential risk to innocent visitors like solicitors and salesmen was brushed aside. “Would it really be so bad if fear of getting shot deterred some of these annoying pests?” Biden joked.
The Vice-President contrasted his “sensible use of firearms for self-defense” with “the total lack of need for multi-shot weapons. I mean, who needs weapons capable of taking on an army? Sure, we're supplying opponents of foreign dictatorships with assault type weapons, but in this country the Army is on our side.”
Apprised of the fact that gun-control has been a favorite policy of many brutal dictatorships didn't alter Biden's views. “You can argue that guys like Hitler and Stalin used gun-control as a way to disarm opposition, but there is no doubt in my mind that things would've been a lot worse if citizens had the means to engage in armed battle with police and troops,” Biden maintained.
In related news, a 22-year-old man in Virginia Beach, Va., was arrested on a charge of reckless endangerment for taking Biden's advice to shoot through the door to his home to scare off a couple of suspicious characters. The man expressed confidence he would be absolved of the charge. “No court would dare convict me,” he said. “All I did was follow Biden's advice. Even if I'm found guilty, I think a Vice-Presidential pardon is in the bag.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/129599-2013-03-01-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-march-3-2013.htm
Truth is nearly always stranger than fiction.
Biden is a stranger to the truth.
“You can argue that guys like Hitler and Stalin used gun-control as a way to disarm opposition, but there is no doubt in my mind that things would’ve been a lot worse if citizens had the means to engage in armed battle with police and troops,” Biden maintained.
Good grief!!! I’m speechless.
Remember, this article is from a satire site!
Doh! Got me. I didn’t catch that.
So maybe old Joe ain’t so bad after all.
Hey uncle Joe!
Just stick your finger in the barrel!
Don't feel bad. They get me about half the time too.
So maybe old Joe ain’t so bad after all.
Oh yes he is. Joe says something silly. Then Semi-News Semi-Satire parodies Joe's remark with something sillier. Then Joe says something even sillier than the parody. It's an endless cycle.
I broke my own ‘check the source’ rule and got snookered! When satire is THIS close to the truth, where can we turn?
To: All
You have to watch this, it is priceless. (Turn on your sound) It’s a video of “Shoot through the door” from our VP, the new “expert” on gun control.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jafkVM-jnbE&feature=player_embedded
Just HAD to see your take on this one. Good stuff. Too bad it’s so truthful in its overstatement.
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