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Actress to Run for Senate
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 Mar 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/10/2013 1:17:52 PM PDT by John Semmens

Hollywood cutie Ashley Judd is preparing to run for the Kentucky senate seat currently held by Mitch McConnell (R). The 44 year-old actress has no prior political experience, but exudes confidence she’ll win.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll have the edge in the swimsuit and evening gown portions of the competition,” Judd bragged. “Talent-wise, I’m prepping by taking singing lessons from my Mom. The one iffy part I’m facing is the ‘poise question.’ There are so many worthy causes I’d like to promote during my reign that it”ll be hard to pick one.”

Judd speculated that “McConnell’s ugliness is a definite plus for me. He’s old and kind of lumpy with no sex appeal. While I may be a bit past my prime for Hollywood at 44, McConnell’s way past his ‘sell by’ date.”

Whether Judd’s glamor and sex-appeal will be able to overcome the ill-will sparked her previous campaign to replace coal-fired power-generation with the free distribution of government-subsidized D-cell batteries remains to be seen. Coal mining is a major industry in Kentucky.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2013/03/09/mccain-calls-fellow-senators-wacko-birds/


TOPICS: Government; Politics; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: celebrity; democrats; election; judd; ky2014; sexappeal
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1 posted on 03/10/2013 1:17:52 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

This is why women should not vote. Period.


2 posted on 03/10/2013 1:27:53 PM PDT by lookout88 (.combat officer's dad)
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To: John Semmens

She’s the last person that should comment on someone’s appearance. Seriously, I saw a pic of how she looks w/out a professional makeover. Not someone who should throw stones.


3 posted on 03/10/2013 1:30:57 PM PDT by Son-Joshua (son-joshua)
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To: John Semmens

From Ashley Judd campaign ad (or is that Mitch's ad?)

4 posted on 03/10/2013 1:33:18 PM PDT by Servant of the Cross (the Truth will set you free)
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To: John Semmens

I’m pretty sure this is satire, as advertised...


5 posted on 03/10/2013 1:35:20 PM PDT by erlayman
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To: John Semmens
Judd speculated that “McConnell’s ugliness is a definite plus for me. He’s old and kind of lumpy with no sex appeal. While I may be a bit past my prime for Hollywood at 44, McConnell’s way past his ‘sell by’ date.”

Although this kind of talk comes naturally to leftists, I do not think it will go over well with the avergage voter.

We've all known this kind of vile cur at one time or other

6 posted on 03/10/2013 1:35:22 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: John Semmens

Got me again.


7 posted on 03/10/2013 1:35:55 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: John Semmens

I think Ashley could win in California or Massachusetts.
Kentucky will be a real tough one.

She’ll have a huge $$ advantage over most any Dem primary opponent, but not sure she’ll even get to November.


8 posted on 03/10/2013 1:36:22 PM PDT by nascarnation (Baraq's economic policy: trickle up poverty)
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To: Son-Joshua
She’s the last person that should comment on someone’s appearance.

Son, that is the "semi-satire" part of the thing. She didn't actually say it. Now you know why some people really hate this made-up stuff.

9 posted on 03/10/2013 1:37:11 PM PDT by x
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To: John Semmens

I’d sort of like ole Mitch to plaster scenes of her nude scenes all over the place.


10 posted on 03/10/2013 1:37:14 PM PDT by Joe Boucher ((FUBO))
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To: John Semmens

I’d sort of like ole Mitch to plaster scenes of her nude scenes all over the place.


11 posted on 03/10/2013 1:37:50 PM PDT by Joe Boucher ((FUBO))
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To: John Semmens
There are so many worthy causes I’d like to promote during my reign that it”ll be hard to pick one.

That's a nice touch!

12 posted on 03/10/2013 1:38:15 PM PDT by pa_dweller (Thy princes are rebellious, and companions of thieves:... Isa 1:23)
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To: John Semmens

She looks pretty good in a soaking wet sundress on a Memorial Day afternoon in Indianapolis. Other than that.....


13 posted on 03/10/2013 1:39:30 PM PDT by clintonh8r (Happy to be represented by Lt. Col. Allen West)
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To: Son-Joshua

I saw her without make-up on a set 3 years ago here in Hollywood as I work in the biz. She looks worse than a washed-up porn actress. One of my best friends who is a make-up artist for countless TV shows told me in their position, they enjoy touching up the really natural beautiful people as it takes less time.

The ugly ones (Madonna, Clooney, Matt Damon etc—typical libs) are the worst to work with as they have ugly mugs. Don;t believe those mag cover pages, they are just graphic artist fixed..


14 posted on 03/10/2013 1:39:35 PM PDT by max americana (Make the world a better place by punching a liberal in the face)
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To: max americana

digitally enhanced

LOL


15 posted on 03/10/2013 1:41:19 PM PDT by nascarnation (Baraq's economic policy: trickle up poverty)
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To: John Semmens

Distinguishing between news and satire is becoming increasingly difficult... this one was waaaaaay too believable.


16 posted on 03/10/2013 1:41:25 PM PDT by FerociousRabbit
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To: FerociousRabbit

Well after Franken won in Minnehaha, there’s no liberal too whacky to count out.


17 posted on 03/10/2013 1:42:25 PM PDT by nascarnation (Baraq's economic policy: trickle up poverty)
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To: nascarnation
You got that right. If Frankin could win in MN, Judd could win in Kentucky.
18 posted on 03/10/2013 1:51:03 PM PDT by tennmountainman
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To: John Semmens
pretty sure she's got the topless competition locked up...
19 posted on 03/10/2013 1:51:08 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: John Semmens
She has anger issues...


20 posted on 03/10/2013 1:54:14 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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