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Party Donors Warn of “Dire Consequences” for Those Who Let Obama Down
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 Mar 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/30/2013 12:04:50 AM PDT by John Semmens

A handful of Democratic members of Congress were warned by the Party's big donors to get in line behind President Obama's push for gun-control legislation lest they face “dire consequences.”

“Money is the 'mother's milk' of political success,” said a leading Democratic financier under promise of anonymity. “Senators from GOP leaning states may think they'll face electoral defeat if they come out in favor of gun-control. We just want to remind them that they'll be taken off the campaign cash teat if they don't.”

“They should also remember there are other ways the President can punish them,” he continued. “He can cut their shares of discretionary federal outlays. He can harass their constituents by sending swarms of officers to rigorously enforce irksome regulations. And in extreme cases, he can order the use of deadly force against anyone who threatens his beneficent administration to the people's needs.”

One of the targets, Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA), rued what she called “heavy-handed tactics” and pleaded for “some sort of reasonable accommodation. I don't see why we can't be permitted to pose as defenders of the right to bear arms while being allowed to work covertly to support the President like we have on other issues.”

Another, Senator Max Baucus (D-Mont), characterized the threat as “ill-considered. These Democratic donors are already well rewarded for their efforts. Each dollar donated to elect Democrats nets donors a hundred in return from federal subsidies paid out to their businesses and organizations. They need us to put money in their pockets. They ought to be able to stand a little posturing on our part to ensure our reelection.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/131336-2013-03-29-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-march-31-2013.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: democrats; guns; obama; satire

1 posted on 03/30/2013 12:04:51 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 03/30/2013 12:05:44 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Thuggery.


3 posted on 03/30/2013 12:14:01 AM PDT by laplata (Peace Through Strength)
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To: John Semmens

Without the BIG bucks flowing into the public servants’ pockets, we wouldn’t even have a government. Right now, we’ve got the best government money can buy. If you have the BIG bucks, you can buy public servants pretty cheap.


4 posted on 03/30/2013 12:16:45 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Barry gave the Republicans a free lunch. All the taxpayers got was a lousy tax increase.)
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To: John Semmens

I think I’ll switch parties and become a Democrat.

That way, I can lie, cheat, steal, behave like a thug, openly express racist thoughts. The MSM will still say that I’m a nice guy, cover for my behavior, and consider me “highly electable.”


5 posted on 03/30/2013 12:18:57 AM PDT by Cowboy Bob (Democrats: Robbing Peter to buy Paul's vote.)
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To: John Semmens

Thanks for the post, and the ping to another head shakin’, cynical grinnin’, SHEESH! exclaimin’ satire John.


6 posted on 03/30/2013 12:31:22 AM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: John Semmens

I’m not so sure about the semi-satire tag as I have no doubt that this is really the way things work and not only with the ‘rats.


7 posted on 03/30/2013 1:03:45 AM PDT by expat1000
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To: John Semmens

Dire consequences? Sounds like extortion to me.


8 posted on 03/30/2013 1:30:00 AM PDT by Impala64ssa (You call me an islamophobe like it's a bad thing.)
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To: John Semmens

.....many a true word spoken in jest....


9 posted on 03/30/2013 2:08:54 AM PDT by spokeshave (The only people better off today than 4 years ago are the Prisoners at Guantanamo.)
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To: John Semmens

Sounds like a Mafia protection racket or typical Chicago Democrat politics. If these wayward Dems wait awhile to get on board the gun-grabbers train, they can either collect handsome bribes, or they can wind up in an unfortunate “accident,” as so many Clinton opponents did.


10 posted on 03/30/2013 3:13:40 AM PDT by txrefugee
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To: txrefugee

Okay. It’s satire. But it is probably 90% correct.


11 posted on 03/30/2013 3:14:56 AM PDT by txrefugee
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To: John Semmens

The party of political blackmail.

It works too, the Dems have a stranglehold on their members.

Not one dares to stray from the party.


12 posted on 03/30/2013 4:31:38 AM PDT by Venturer
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To: John Semmens
(8^D)

All too true, likely...

13 posted on 03/30/2013 5:11:12 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: John Semmens

Except for the fake “direct quotes”, this article isn’t satire at all.


14 posted on 03/30/2013 5:42:55 AM PDT by Hardastarboard (Buck Off, Bronco Bama)
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To: txrefugee

In the immortal words of the prophet Dan, “It is fake but accurate.”


15 posted on 03/30/2013 6:12:01 AM PDT by RipSawyer (I was born on Earth, what planet is this?)
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To: laplata

Chicgo style thuggery in action.


16 posted on 03/30/2013 8:25:53 AM PDT by TruthWillWin (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples money.)
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To: John Semmens

I NEED my second cuppa. Started to read without checking the byline. By the time I got to Paragraph 3, I woke up. You sure got my blood pressure working this am, John. Thanks.


17 posted on 03/30/2013 8:29:22 AM PDT by EDINVA
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To: John Semmens
... Kathleen Sebelius dismissed criticism that Obamacare is leading to higher costs and more paperwork as “misplaced.”

“Since the vast majority of visits to doctors are unnecessary and often result in more harm than good, if costs for medical care rise we should expect overall health to improve,” Sebelius projected. “I mean, unless you are a trauma victim, the chances of medical intervention helping you are slim...

It may be "Semi" satire, but one believes, John, that you've captured the aristocratic essence of one Ms. Sebelius. (It also might be re-worded just slightly, and find its way into an HHS staff report.)

This weeks entire column is a candidate for the "Best Of".

.

18 posted on 03/30/2013 4:08:52 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: John Semmens

Way to go, John. Thanks again for the ping.


19 posted on 03/30/2013 4:48:29 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

Sounds like bribery to me. No wait, if a rat does it it’s just “politics as usual” rather than bribery. Silly me.


20 posted on 03/30/2013 8:45:51 PM PDT by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite it's unfashionability)
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To: John Semmens

At one time, the GOP was funded by small donars. That is before they proved there is noting to fund there. Only stupid and evil.


21 posted on 03/31/2013 4:28:27 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: John Semmens

Are dems as thuggy as they seem?


22 posted on 04/04/2013 9:43:50 PM PDT by GOPJ (New AP term for Illegal Aliens IS Undocumented Democrats.... Jay Leno)
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