He failed. He really does not have much to add to the story. Did he get a pre-nup for his second marriage? If he did, I'm predicting a second divorce.
I think your nephew is about to either let a nice girl get away, or they will marry with a cloud of suspicion and second-rate commitment over their heads.
A pre-nup, I believe is for wealthy people, often retired, who want to preserve an inheritance for the children of the first marriage. That's an appropriate use of pre-nups.
Otherwise, just shack up. Isn't that what he really wants? And if I were the gal I might start looking around for a better offer.
Don’t they take a vow - something like for better or for worse?
Kids in their early 20’s seem awfully young to be making these decisions. Why pay a lawyer thousands of dollars when their net worth is maybe negative?
If they do get a pre-nup I hope she includes conditions like
- he will help with the housework
- he won’t gain more than 60 pounds
- he will learn to ballroom dance
- he will never wear a Speedo (well almost never)
This is all so silly. If he’s this unsure, she should bail.
The whole point of a marriage is for two to build a life together. Unless one of them is coming into the marriage with a LOT more than the other, a prenup is unnecessary.
As it is, neither of them has much. Anything that is built from this point forward belongs to both of them. No prenup necessary.
Now if he were coming in with a ton of money - then, yes. He might want a prenup to keep her from taking half of everything in the event of a divorce a year down the road.
HOWEVER - from the sounds of it, SHE might want a prenup to get back what SHE invested in HIM in the event of a divorce.
As it stands - they don’t need it. If they build a life together and have children, she should get half of the financial benefits if they split up down the road.
I’m a huge supporter of prenups that have the stipulation of infidelity. If he cheats, she gets half of everything that he owns... plus the house, plus child support, etc.
If she cheats, she get’s nothing and loses custody of the children.
Shoot, nowadays couples are getting pre-marital contracts stipulating how many times they must have sex per week and how much weight they can gain. So much for “for better or worse.” Heaven forbid one should end up in a wheelchair. Si sad that people cannot go into marriage full of joy instead of having to try predicting what kind of viper the spouse might turn into after a few years.
If your nephew had millions (literally) he wanted to protect, in the event that the marriage would end in divorce - a prenup may be a good idea. Think of child-stars, or pop-stars who marry people who aren’t rich. People with millions of dollars that they had going into the marriage.
But, if he is like 99% of the rest of America - all it is going to do is alienate his bride.
..at that age of 21 and he's already that cynical....
we're not going to get America back ever if we keep this nonsense up about how we have to be "safe" about everything...have "insurance" for everything...
I'm sorry, but you nephew sounds like he's a bit selfish and not very grateful for the help another person...his "squeeze"...
I am suspicious on why he thinks he needs a prenup? Does his future wife have a spending problem or maybe a lot of debt? If so, he probably needs to wait a bit to see if she matures a bit....
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No cats.
Not a fan of prenups—defeats the whole purpose of marrying for love. However, given our litigious society and the existence of parasite divorce lawyers and ugly feminists, they are a necessary evil if one party has a strong balance sheet and the other does not. I have a relative who is quite successful—has a six figure income, house, lots of assets—as is marrying a two-bit, lazy, unemployed bum. My relative refuses to have the bum sign a prenup. The bum brings nothing to the table. The bum will probably wind up getting half of what my relative has in a divorce. This has nothing to do with being fair—it has everything to do with activist judges, punitive divorce laws and sleezy lawyers.
It sounds like neither party has any assets so there is no need for a prenup. If either side is questioning the other’s motives, the marriage should probably not take place.
The world hath no fury like a woman’s corns. - Archie Bunker
No. It’s a trust-breaker, to me.
Headed into a divorce myself. Maybe we all should be following your advice. :-)
Yes, as a matter of fact, I've been thinking lately that a pre-nuptial agreement would be a good idea for all couples before they marry.
More important, however, would be to keep separate bank accounts, and not to put each other's names onto credit cards. Cynical? Yes. But much more realistic now.
Prenups used to be required by a trust to protect the trust in case of divorce. Then they were used by the wealthy marrying the not-so-wealthy. Now they are used pre-divorce agreements before marriage. Stupid. Don’t trust her, don’t marry her.
They should make an agreement about what each of them brought into the marriage, and agree to what each will take with them should they decide to separate.
If the couple involved are sure a break up will never happen, they could celebrate by burning the forms on their 50th wedding anniversary.
Otherwise, he risks losing everything. And I mean Everything. No man should take that risk.
"Darling I trust you completely, I love you with all my heart, but my family insists we get a pre-nup. I don't think we need one, and I'm sure you don't either, but my evil Cat-Lady Auntie and the rest of my family swear they will disown me if we don't. As much as I love you and as full as my heart feels when you are near, there would be a an ache, a void in my heart that only my family of origin can fill. (Besides it might be a good thing to not get written out of their wills) Let's just do this and get it out of the way and preserve peace in the family..."
Prenups are a game for the wealthy. For normal folks, they are a scheme to make lawyers well to do. For a Catholic, I would think a prenup would be a very bad idea.
Any comments from the Catholic Caucus?
A pre-nup is to protect the assets you bring IN to the marriage. It doesn’t sound like it could apply to your nephew.
Marriage is a legal contract. The state sets the default terms of the contract. Without a pre-nup you are accepting ALL of the state’s contract terms and the state will enforce those terms against both partners in the event of a dissolution of the marriage.
A pre-nup establishes one’s own marriage contract terms that override the state terms (where the state allows). A pre-nup is similar in concept to making up ones own vows in lieu of traditional vows: the couple chooses to do things their own way.
I personally STRONGLY recommend that all couples that are going to be married work out a pre-nup agreement that is acceptable to both parties.
Simple answer.
Don’t get marriage advice from a divorced person.
When I win the Powerball tomorrow night, I will make sure I have one.