Shutdown Day 14: All the Plants are Gonna’ Die!

Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-14-2013 | MOTUS

[NOBO2012]

I interrupt my train of thought regarding things that have fallen down the rabbit hole around Washington to bring you this urgent announcement: It is with a heavy heart that I advise you of a government shutdown that will have a deep and lasting impact on your lives: LADY M’S ORGANIC GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL IS WITHERING ON THE VINE!

That’s right, thanks to the Tea Party Anarchists (TPA) who’ve closed down the government, Lady M’s entire organic crop has been barrycaded and is being guarded round the clock by the handful of National Park Service employees assigned to Big White that haven’t been furloughed.

Tomato and basil bed, day one of the barrycade

Although the impact wasn’t immediately apparent, 14 days into the barrycade, the horrible, horrible ramifications of this willful neglect have grown painfully obvious:

By day 14 the awful reality sets in: yellow, withered vines, moldering vegs.

Nobody is allowed in to rescue the rotting tomatoes, the mildewing zucchini, the molding eggplants. Hundreds of pounds of organic veggies going to waste: all because of the TPA.

As you can see, Lady M is beside herself with grief, as BO announces there is no news to report in the ongoing negotiations with the hostage takers.

Mo did her best to comfort the young gardeners who arrived in Washington yesterday to demonstrate against the heartless government shutdowns.

Butt it looks like there will be no 5 pound sweet potatoes for this year’s annual photo op - we’re leaving them to the worms this year. Real worms, I mean; in the ground.

No giant peacock fennel harvest either:

And you know how much we love peacocks around here:

Seriously, this shouldn’t surprise anyone. We’ve known the Organic Garden of Good and Evil could be a useful target for our the Tea Party’s propaganda campaign since spring:

BO and Harry walking tomato alley earlier this year, plotting discussing shutdown strategy

It’s just all so sad. As I stand in this magnificent White House, gazing out my tiny window in my tiny bunker at the back of Lady M’s closet, all I see is rot and decay everywhere. It’s as if it’s a metaphor for something else...oh, yeah, Detroit!

Trying to put as positive spin on this as I can, I did think of one bright spot: we’re going to have an awesome pile of compost this year!

Although I’m hard pressed to see how we really need anymore of that.

So I hope the TPA is happy, now that they’ve killed all the plants. Heartless bastards.

THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE “SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR PEAS” FOUNDATION, A 501(c)(3) TRUST:

Eat your own damn peas

original garden pictures via Obama Foodorama

Posted from: Michelle Obama’s Mirror

[UCANSEE2]

Thanks for posting this article/link/photos.

[dfwgator]

[Kip Russell]

Shades of "Silent Running". I was just looking at that early '70s science fiction film...it was such an over the top environmental screed that it was laugh out loud funny.

And having not only one, but two Joan Baez songs caterwauling at the audience? Comedy gold.

[Vigilanteman]

Maybe the poor non-essential government employees could be invited to harvest the food to feed their families until the next paycheck. It is, after all, harvest season.

[spokeshave]

Here's Moochelle at the ready to defend the plants.....