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The 5 Worst Christmas Songs of All Time
Ricochet.com ^ | 12/18/13

Posted on 12/18/2013 2:15:41 PM PST by Impala64ssa

With a week to go before the big day, I’ve need to get something off my chest: If I hear Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” again I’m going to convert to Norse paganism, grab a battle-ax and lay waste to the local all-holiday radio station.

The choir of children sing their song! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! ding Ahhhhhhh… "SECURITY! A Viking just killed the board op! Save us from the wrath of the Northmen!"

The ex-Beatle abomination is number one on my list and I can’t even bear to embed the video. But there are other horrifying songs that litter airwaves, malls and waiting rooms in an effort to ruin this time of year.

2. Band Aid "Do They Know Its Christmas"

A common question among early 80s New Romantics was “What do Bob Geldof and Midge Ure think about the birth of Christ?” Unfortunately they answered with a British “all-star” carol featuring heartwarming lines such as:

And the Christmas bells that ring there Are the clanging chimes of doom Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

Just try to enjoy those presents now, you Thatcherite fascists!

3. Bruce Springsteen "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" Springsteen is popular in New Jersey because he always sings about escaping New Jersey. Santa didn’t get the hint and is flying into Newark unless Bruce can ward him off with his gravelly voice and faux stage banter. This song mostly makes the list because I’ve heard it every day of Advent since I discovered radio. Enough.

4. Wham! "Last Christmas" face on a lover with a fire in his heart A man under cover but you tore him apart

George Michael isn’t singing about Santa or the baby Jesus in this one. But occasionally you can hear it hummed in public bathrooms coast to coast.

5. John Lennon "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" In a world of bad ideas, “Hey, let’s ask the atheist to write a Christmas song!” might have the worst results. As the video shows, the proper spelling is “Xmas” and the season needs less decking the halls and more dying children in far-off places. Ex-Beatles and Christmas don't mix.

So those are my picks. What do you think are the worst Christmas songs of all time?


TOPICS: Music/Entertainment; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: carols; christmas; christmassongs; music; xmas
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I thought I was the only one who can't stand this dreck ;) Jinlge Bells, the Barking Dogs Version and Grandma got run over by a Reindeer are classical music compared to this stuff.
1 posted on 12/18/2013 2:15:41 PM PST by Impala64ssa
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To: Impala64ssa
"Christmas Shoes" is the worst song for me.

I have my reasons...

2 posted on 12/18/2013 2:19:21 PM PST by bayliving
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To: Impala64ssa

ANY Christmas song played prior to at least first week of December...
Doubly so if played before Halloween.


3 posted on 12/18/2013 2:19:27 PM PST by Darksheare (Try my coffee, first one's free..... Even robots will kill for it!)
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To: Impala64ssa
#1 on my list is "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano. I'll be he had to stay up all night to think up those clever lyrics.

While I realize some people like the beat, couldn't he at least have hired Bob Dylan or anybody else to write better lyrics?

4 posted on 12/18/2013 2:20:03 PM PST by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: Impala64ssa

Well at least they mention Christmas. If liberals had their way they would be singing Happy Ramadan.


5 posted on 12/18/2013 2:20:47 PM PST by GrandJediMasterYoda (What do we want? Time travel. When do we want it? It's irrelevant.)
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To: Impala64ssa

My favorite make-you-feel-like-dirt Christmas song...:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ML6DApSF3w


6 posted on 12/18/2013 2:21:10 PM PST by Salamander (I know things that you don't. I've done things that you won't.)
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I'll bet he had to stay up all night . . .

Sorry for the typo.

7 posted on 12/18/2013 2:21:36 PM PST by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: Impala64ssa

“Christmas Shoes” is by far and away the worst Christmas song ever written. I hate that song. I am glad that the local stations have finally gotten the message and don’t play it any more.


8 posted on 12/18/2013 2:22:04 PM PST by kaehurowing
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To: Impala64ssa

So far as I can see, none of these songs is really awful by any means. “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” is certainly stupid, but if you only have to listen to these songs for one month out of the year, there’s not much point in complaining.


9 posted on 12/18/2013 2:22:56 PM PST by x
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To: Impala64ssa

Spike Jones “Barnyard Christmas”


10 posted on 12/18/2013 2:24:30 PM PST by Starstruck (If my reply offends, you probably don't understand sarcasm or criticism...or do.)
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To: Impala64ssa

I totally agree about the McCartney song.

That song was something culled together in a hurry so money can be made during Christmas season.

It’s dull and dumb.


11 posted on 12/18/2013 2:24:48 PM PST by Fishtalk (http://patfish.blogspot.com/)
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To: Impala64ssa

Put me down for “Jingle Bell Rock”. Unless, of course, the Spirit of the Season involves multiple chainsaw murder.


12 posted on 12/18/2013 2:25:39 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: kaehurowing

That was a horrible song. No idea what the radio stations were thinking. I always hated that Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney.


13 posted on 12/18/2013 2:25:50 PM PST by MNDude
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To: Impala64ssa

No, actually, the only George Michael creations that make sense in public restrooms are “I’m Your Man” (”If you wanna do it, do it right (right?) do it with me...”) and then when the other guy turns out to be an undercover vice officer, “Wham Rap”:

“Get back!”
“Hands off!”
“GO FOR IT!”


14 posted on 12/18/2013 2:26:14 PM PST by RichInOC (Palin 2016: The Perfect Storm.)
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To: Impala64ssa

Absolutely!

My preferneces are traditional carols as well as John Prine, old time country and some novelty songs.

I must admit Dominick the Christmas Donkey did grow on me...kinda like a wart.

Fatty Claus, Christmas in a Beer Joint, and Merry Chrismas from the Family are also favs. Oh and Cledus Judd...


15 posted on 12/18/2013 2:26:30 PM PST by prisoner6 ( FREEDOM)
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To: Impala64ssa

Mariah Carey “All I Want for Christmas Is You”.

I hear it over and over and over and over and over and over..........and over.....


16 posted on 12/18/2013 2:26:39 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: Impala64ssa

Pretty much anything by Pomplamoose gets on my nerves.


17 posted on 12/18/2013 2:27:04 PM PST by MeganC (Support Matt Bevin to oust Mitch McConnell! https://mattbevin.com/)
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To: Impala64ssa

Thankfully, I’m able to avoid that stuff, not listening music on the radio. There are some Christmas music I can’t avoid though. Anything by Tran-Siberian Orchestra and the First Noel. The former for obvious reasons and the latter, have you ever read the words. It’s so clumsy and banal.

And by the light of that same star
Three Wise men came from country far
To seek for a King was their intent
And to follow the star wherever it went.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

My favorite is Hark! the Herald Angels Sing


18 posted on 12/18/2013 2:27:11 PM PST by demshateGod (The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.)
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To: Vigilanteman
#1 on my list is "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano. I'll be he had to stay up all night to think up those clever lyrics.

I thought it was "Police Nab Mi Dad."

19 posted on 12/18/2013 2:27:35 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: Impala64ssa

For cryin’ in your beer there’s Santa Can’t Stay by Dwight Yoakam.

http://youtu.be/MB9RogfBBYo


20 posted on 12/18/2013 2:27:53 PM PST by saganite (What happens to taglines? Is there a termination date?)
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